10 Self Regulation Strategies: From Intense Emotions to Calm

1. Listening: This skill forms the basis of self-regulation as it helps children understand instructions, grasp social cues, and respond appropriately. Encourage active listening in your child by creating opportunities for them to practice—be it during a conversation, a storytelling session, or while giving them instructions for a task.
2. Goal-setting: By setting attainable goals, children learn to focus their efforts, which contributes to better self-regulation. This practice can start small, like completing homework within a set time or achieving a personal best in a game or activity. Over time, the habit of setting and achieving goals can translate into improved self-regulation.
3. Self-monitoring: This strategy involves children keeping track of their own behavior and progress. For instance, children could keep a journal of their emotions or use a chart to track their ability to complete tasks without getting distracted. This awareness of their own behavior is a critical step in self-regulation.
4. Effective use of self-instructions or self-talk: Self-talk is a potent tool in regulating behavior. Teach your child to use positive and motivating language with themselves. Phrases like “I can do this,” or “I need to calm down before I respond,” can help guide their actions and responses.
5. Self-reinforcement: This strategy entails rewarding oneself for achieving a desired behavior or reaching a goal. This could be as simple as allowing extra playtime, a special treat or verbal praise when your child successfully manages their emotions in a difficult situation.
6. Mindfulness and meditation: These mindfulness practices help children become aware of their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Start with simple mindfulness exercises like focusing on the breath, and gradually move to guided meditations.
7. Deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation: These techniques help manage immediate stress reactions and bring a sense of calm. Deep breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation, while progressive muscle relaxation helps release physical tension.
8. The “Stop, Think, Do” strategy: This strategy encourages children to pause and consider their response before acting impulsively. It fosters problem-solving skills, increases distress tolerance, and promotes better decision making (Peterson, 1995).
9. Regular physical activity: Engaging in regular physical activity can help children manage stress and anxiety, as well as improve executive functioning. Structured activities like yoga or martial arts can instill discipline and self-control while providing a healthy outlet for releasing energy and expressing emotions.
10. Play Self-Regulation Games: Games that make children and teens put the brakes on, can be fun as well as an opportunity to learn. There are many activities that can be incorporated into daily life to foster healthy coping skills. 

I have created an essential and easy to use resource for parents and teachers, “147 Therapist-Endorsed Self-Regulation Strategies for Children: A Practical Guide for Parents.”  This free resource has the same strategies that we use on our one-to-one BrainBehaviorReset™ Program because I know that when you have a dysregulated kid, you need actionable strategies, and that is what this amazing tool is.

Remember, the key to developing these skills lies in consistent practice and patience. It's also crucial to celebrate small victories along the way to keep your child motivated and confident in their ability to self-regulate.

The Role of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in Self-Regulation

Children with ADHD often struggle with self-regulation. Their difficulties with attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity can make it challenging to manage their emotions and behavior. However, ADHD should not be seen as a barrier to developing self-regulation skills.

With structured routines, clear expectations, and frequent breaks, children with ADHD can learn and practice self-regulation. Positive reinforcement, such as rewards for good behavior, can also be beneficial. It's also helpful to adapt self-regulation strategies to suit your child's unique needs and abilities.

Behavioral Self-Regulation Techniques for Children

Behavioral self-regulation techniques involve teaching children to control their behavior in response to external stimuli. This includes self-monitoring, goal-setting, self-reinforcement, and executive functioning strategies.

Self-monitoring involves teaching your child to pay attention to their own behavior, while goal-setting encourages them to work towards achievable targets. Self-reinforcement rewards children for demonstrating desired behaviors, while executive functioning strategies teach them to plan, organize, and execute tasks efficiently.

5 Emotional Self-Regulation Techniques for Children

Emotional self-regulation is a crucial skill that helps children identify and manage their emotions effectively. Here are some techniques to help children develop this critical ability:

1. Self-Awareness Practices: These activities promote the child's ability to recognize and understand their own emotions. For example, you can encourage your child to notice how their body feels when they experience different emotions or use tools like emotion charts or mood meters to help them identify their feelings. This awareness is the first step towards emotional regulation.
2. Self-Talk: Self-talk involves using words and phrases to control emotions and guide behavior. Teaching children to use positive self-talk can help them manage difficult emotions. For instance, if a child is feeling anxious about a test, they could tell themselves, “I am prepared, and I will do my best,” to help calm their nerves.
3. Visualization Techniques: Visualization involves creating mental images to help manage emotions. This technique can be particularly useful when children face challenging situations. For example, if a child is feeling upset, they could visualize a calming place, like a beach or a favorite spot in their home, to help soothe their emotions.
   
4. Expressing Emotions: Teaching children how to express their feelings in a healthy way is an essential aspect of emotional self-regulation. This might involve using “I” statements to communicate their feelings, such as “I feel upset when…” or encouraging them to write in a journal to process their emotions.
5. Emotion Regulation Skills: These are specific strategies children can use to manage their emotional responses. They may include techniques like deep breathing to calm down when upset or using distraction techniques when faced with negative feelings.

By incorporating these emotional self-regulation techniques into their routine, children can better understand and manage their emotions, leading to increased emotional well-being and a more positive outlook on life.

Encouraging Positive Emotional Responses in Children

Encouraging positive emotional responses involves teaching children to replace negative feelings with positive ones. Helping kids like Taylor overcome the emotional pain they experience helps to get them unstuck from the fear, shame, and blame cycle. This can be achieved through positive self-talk, gratitude exercises, and by fostering a positive home environment where children feel safe and loved.

Promote positive discipline strategies that involve praise and rewards for good behavior, rather than punishment for misbehavior. Encourage your child to express their feelings and provide them with a supportive and understanding response.

The Benefits of Learning Regulation Skills for Child Development

Learning regulation skills has numerous benefits for child development. These skills can enhance a child's ability to self-regulate, manage their emotions, and interact positively with others. They can improve academic performance, promote emotional well-being, and enhance social skills.

Moreover, learning self-regulation skills can foster a sense of self-control, self-efficacy, and self-esteem in children. These skills can empower children to manage their own emotions and behavior, boosting their confidence and autonomy, as well as help them to love themselves and their neurodivergent brain.

Seeking Professional Help for Emotional Dysregulation in Children

If your child constantly struggles with emotional dysregulation, it may be beneficial to seek professional help just like Taylor and his family did in our BrainBehaviorReset™ Program. 

We first calmed his brain with CALM PEMF™, neurofeedback, supplements, as well as supported his parents in shaping behaviors. Once Taylor's brain was calm, we added therapy to help him learn to identify, understand, and manage his emotions in healthy ways. It didn't happen overnight, but Taylor was able to be attentive and calm for the first time in almost a decade and without any harmful side effects of medications. 

Diet was also a huge shift point too. Since he had a diagnosis of PANS, we needed to get his inflammation down and adding nutrition to calm his brain was something we did slowly as he became more and more regulated and thus willing to try new foods. 

Developing self-regulation skills is a journey, not a destination. Remember that every child is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. So, it's crucial to be patient and persistent, and to celebrate your child's progress, no matter how small. 

However, if your child continues to struggle with self-regulation despite your best efforts, it may be time to seek professional help. Emotional dysregulation can sometimes indicate an underlying issue, such as ADHD or a mental health issue, which requires specialized care.

Working one-to-one with us to help your child and family have a calm brain is your next step. You can apply to our BrainBehaviorReset™ Program at www.drroseann.com/help. Together, we can help your child learn to manage their intense emotions, control their impulses, and build a foundation of emotional and behavioral self-regulation that will serve them well throughout their life.

Self-regulation is often regarded as the cornerstone of mental health. It's a skill that takes time and practice to master, but the effort is worth it. By teaching our children how to self-regulate, we're giving them the tools to succeed in life, to handle difficult emotions, and to maintain well-being. This is an investment in their future, an investment in their happiness that is worth it. 

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