Calm Parents: What Every Parent Can Do

Calm Parents What Every Parent Can Do
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

Picture this: your child is having a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket, and you’re trying to stay calm amidst the chaos. We’ve all been there! The key to navigating these challenging moments is to become calm parents and have a peaceful family life.

We all need practical strategies for embracing the calm parenting mindset, understanding your child’s brain, and mastering your own emotions, so you can create a stress-free parenting environment.

Top Takeaways

  • Embrace parenting with a calm mindset and cultivate positive thinking, self-compassion, understanding & gratitude for greater peace.
  • Equip yourself with knowledge on child development to become a calmer parent & create happier family life.
  • Prioritize self care by making rest & relaxation part of your day, seek support from friends/family/professionals and engage in hobbies outside of parenting.

The Calm Parenting Mindset: Embrace the Journey


The foundation of calm parenting lies in adopting a certain mindset. This mindset involves focusing on positive thinking, accepting imperfections, and cultivating gratitude in daily life. By shifting our perspective, we can approach parenting with more patience and understanding, ultimately becoming a better calm parent and even a calmer parent as a result.

While shifting our perspective isn't easy, it is something we can control our emotions to be a better parent.

Accepting that both we and our children are imperfect allows us to be more understanding and compassionate during difficult times, preventing us from losing control. Cultivating gratitude in daily family life helps us savor the small moments and appreciate the journey, leading to greater peace and balance in our lives.

Being grounded in your own body, connects you to your emotions. This grounding helps you stay calm and you can share that calm with your kid too.

The Power of Positive Thinking


Positive thinking helps you focus on the positive aspects of life and look for the good in every situation. Adopting a positive mindset involves making conscious choices to focus on the bright side of life and to appreciate the good in every situation. Sometimes it isn't easy to be positive when your children are irritated, easily upset or just don't listen.

The rewards of having a positive mindset are plentiful – increased happiness, improved physical and mental health, stronger relationships, and greater resilience, which can lead to more patience in parenting.

So, how can you cultivate a positive outlook? 

Start by expressing gratitude, staying mindful in the present, speaking kindly to yourself, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. The next time you find yourself feeling frustrated, try to imagine the situation from a different perspective. What’s the truth that you’re overlooking? What really matters in the grand scheme of things? Shifting your perspective can help you stay calm and focused, even during the most challenging moments.

Accept Imperfections and Embrace Growth


Accepting imperfections and embracing growth can be incredibly beneficial as it helps us understand that we and our children are only human and can make mistakes. It also encourages us to focus on learning and progress rather than punishment and perfection.

Giving your child permission to be human, recognizing that none of us are perfect, and focusing on learning and growth rather than punishment and perfection are all great ways to accept imperfections and embrace growth. By doing so, we can create a more compassionate and understanding environment for both ourselves and our children, ultimately fostering a calmer parenting approach.

Cultivate Gratitude in Daily Life


Cultivating gratitude in daily life can lead to increased happiness, improved self-esteem, better physical and emotional health, enhanced empathy, and reduced aggression. To foster an attitude of gratitude in your daily life, try taking time to savor the small moments, expressing appreciation to your children, and reflecting on the positive aspects of your life.

Writing thank you notes, keeping a gratitude journal, and taking time to appreciate the beauty of nature are all wonderful ways to cultivate gratitude in daily life.

Understanding Your Child's Brain: The Key to Calm Parenting


Gaining a better understanding of your child’s brain development can greatly empower your parenting journey. By learning about the different stages of development, appreciating the importance of attachment, and recognizing the impact of stress on the developing brain, you can better manage your expectations and reactions to your child’s behavior.

In the following sections, we’ll explore the fascinating world of child brain development and how it can help us become calmer parents.

The Developing Brain and Emotional Regulation


Emotional regulation is an important skill for children to master, as it helps them manage and control their emotions. The development of emotional regulation is intimately tied to the growth of certain brain regions responsible for cognitive control, like the prefrontal cortex. As the prefrontal cortex matures, so does the capacity to regulate emotions.

By understanding the connection between the developing brain and emotional regulation, we can gain valuable insight into how to better support children’s emotional development and become better equipped to handle challenging situations.

Age-Appropriate Expectations and Reactions


Setting age-appropriate expectations and reacting accordingly is crucial to maintaining a calm parenting approach. By taking the time to understand your child’s developmental stage, setting expectations that are appropriate for their age, and responding to their emotions with understanding and support, you can create a nurturing environment that fosters growth and development.

It’s important to remember that every child is unique, and their specific needs and abilities should always be taken into consideration when setting expectations and reacting to their behavior.

Empowering Parents Through Knowledge


Staying informed about child development and brain science is crucial to empower parents and help them make better decisions for their families. By equipping yourself with knowledge on child brain development, recognizing your child’s needs, and building your emotional resilience, you can take charge of your parenting journey and create a happier, calmer family life.

Don’t be afraid to seek out resources such as books, seminars, and online forums to stay up-to-date on the latest research and trends in parenting.

Master Your Own Emotions: Building Emotional Resilience


Mastering your own emotions is a vital component of calm parenting. By building emotional resilience, you can better manage your emotions and respond to your child’s needs with understanding and empathy.

Staying positive and ignoring negative thoughts are an important part of your parenting journey. 

The Importance of Self-Regulation


Self-regulation is the key to effectively managing emotions and behaviors. By practicing self-regulation, you can stay focused on tasks, manage stress, and make healthy choices for yourself and your family without having to lose control.

It’s essential to develop self-regulation skills in order to create a calmer parenting environment and provide a positive example for your child. By modeling self-regulation, you can help your child learn how to effectively manage their own emotions and behavior as well.

Techniques for Staying Calm


When faced with challenging moments, it’s important to have a toolbox of techniques to help you stay calm. One of the most effective techniques is taking a deep breath. By focusing on your breath and taking slow, deep breaths, you can help reduce stress and anxiety. Give it a try in moments of high emotion, and notice the calming effect it has on your body and mind.

Another powerful technique is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and focusing on the sensations, thoughts, and emotions that arise. By practicing mindfulness during challenging parenting moments, you can stay grounded and better manage your emotions. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, including meditation, mindful walking, and simply paying attention to your breath.

Additional techniques for staying calm include getting enough sleep, going for a walk, and engaging in relaxation exercises such as visualization. By practicing these techniques regularly, you can build your emotional resilience and become a calmer, more effective parent.

Recognizing and Addressing Triggers


We all have triggers that can cause us to lose our cool. Recognizing and addressing these triggers is essential for maintaining calmness in parenting. When you feel triggered, take a moment to pause and reflect on what’s causing the reaction.

Recognizing and Addressing Triggers

It is important to ask yourself, “Did they trigger something from my own childhood?” And if they did, what are you going to do about it? Avoiding toxic parenting behaviors takes work but is something we all can do.

Engaging in deep breaths and self-care can help you stay calm and focused. By acknowledging your triggers and finding healthy ways to cope with them, you’ll be better equipped to handle challenging situations with grace and understanding.

Creating a Stress-Free Parenting Environment: Tips for Happy Kids and Parents


Creating a stress-free parenting environment is essential for raising happy, well-adjusted children even when you have a neurodivergent child or child with a clinical issue. By establishing routines, encouraging open communication, and prioritizing quality family time, you can create a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters growth and development.

Even though providers often rush to medicate children and teens, positive parenting techniques will reduce negative behaviors when used consistently. 

Establishing Routines and Boundaries


Establishing routines and boundaries can help foster a sense of stability and security for both parents and children, reducing stress and creating a sense of predictability and control. Consistency is key when creating routines and setting boundaries, as it helps children feel more secure and relaxed. Be clear with your expectations and reward positive behavior when your children adhere to the routines.

By implementing routines and boundaries, you’re laying the groundwork for a calmer, more harmonious family life.

Encouraging Open Communication


Open communication is crucial to fostering understanding and emotional well-being within the family. Encourage your children to express their feelings and opinions, and listen to them attentively. Be open to discussing different points of view with a positive outlook.

By creating a safe space for open communication, you’ll help your children develop valuable problem-solving skills and build stronger relationships within the family.

Prioritizing Quality Family Time


Quality family time is essential for strengthening relationships and creating a supportive environment. Set aside dedicated time for family activities, like game nights or movie nights, and engage in activities that everyone can enjoy. Be present and fully engaged during these moments, making the most of the time by talking and listening to each other.

And a bonus is that you’ll create unforgettable memories and foster a sense of connection and belonging within your family.

When Things Go Wrong: How to Recover and Move Forward


Even the most well-intentioned parents make mistakes. It’s important to recognize that we’re all human and that it’s okay to have a bad day or lose our temper. The key is learning how to recover and move forward when things go wrong.

Apologize and Model Accountability


When mistakes are made, it’s important to apologize and take responsibility for your actions. This not only helps to rebuild trust and foster forgiveness between you and your child, but also models accountability for them.

By taking ownership of your mistakes and apologizing when needed, you’re showing your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and that we can learn and grow from them.

Develop Forgiveness and Empathy


Cultivating forgiveness and empathy within the family is crucial for emotional resilience and growth. Address your inner pain and find meaning in your suffering by reflecting on the situation and understanding the emotions that you’re feeling, especially when you feel upset.

By practicing empathy, you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and truly understand their perspective and feelings. This helps to create a more positive and understanding atmosphere within the family, allowing everyone to move forward together.

Reflect and Adopt Learnings for Future Growth


Reflecting on challenging situations and learning from them can help you make better parenting decisions in the future. Take a moment to consider what went wrong, how you could have handled the situation differently, and what steps you can take to rectify the mistake.

By learning from your mistakes and applying the lessons to future situations, you’ll foster a more positive and understanding environment for both you and your child.

Self-Care for Parents: The Foundation of Calm Parenting


Self-care is the foundation of calm parenting. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting with grace and understanding.

Prioritize Rest and Relaxation


Ensuring adequate rest and relaxation is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being and a calm demeanor. By focusing on self-care and prioritizing rest, you can reduce stress, enhance mood, and raise energy levels, ultimately leading to more patience in parenting.

Seek Support from Friends, Family, or Professionals


Parenting can be challenging, and it’s important to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when needed. By reaching out to your local community, joining support groups, or seeking professional help, you can receive the emotional support, practical problem-solving strategies, and sense of community that you need to navigate the complexities of parenting.

Remember, you don’t have to face parenting challenges alone – there are resources and people out there who can help many parents.

Engage in Hobbies and Interests Outside of Parenting


Pursuing personal hobbies and interests outside of parenting is essential for maintaining a sense of identity and well-being. By engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, you can create a sense of balance in your life and prevent burnout from the demands of parenting.

Some ideas for hobbies and interests include reading, writing, painting, photography, gardening, cooking, playing an instrument, and exercising. Remember, taking time for yourself is not only beneficial for you, but also for your family.

The Road to Not Loosing Control


Becoming a calm parent takes practice and dedication. By embracing the calm parenting mindset, understanding your child’s brain, mastering your own emotions, and creating a stress-free parenting environment, you can transform your parenting journey. Remember to prioritize self-care, seek support when needed, and engage in hobbies and interests outside of parenting. With these strategies in place, you’ll be well on your way to creating a happier, calmer family life.

The Calm Parents Journey


Initiating the calm parenting journey is akin to planting a seed. Much like the seeds that remain dormant unless nurtured, these strategies can bloom into effective habits only when diligently tended. Choose one method and nurture it consistently for at least 30 days, and you'll observe a tangible decrease in your stress levels, paving the way for a more harmonious household.

While mastering ‘How to be a Calm Parent', fortify your efforts with our complementary resource, “147 Therapist-Endorsed Self-Regulation Strategies for Children: A Practical Guide for Parents.” This guide, brimming with practical, therapist-endorsed strategies, synergizes with your calm parenting journey, providing additional approaches to strengthen your child's self-regulation skills.

Integrating these strategies with your personal calming practices can cultivate a balanced home, fostering your child's emotional and behavioral development. Embrace this impactful resource and witness your family life transform.

Need more advice from Dr. Roseann? Simply tune in to her enlightening podcast or join her free Natural Solutions Parenting Community for a plethora of expertise and support.


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Peng, B., Hu, N., Yu, H., Xiao, H., & Luo, J. (2021). Parenting Style and Adolescent Mental Health: The Chain Mediating Effects of Self-Esteem and Psychological Inflexibility. Frontiers in psychology, 12, 738170.

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Ryan, R., O'Farrelly, C., & Ramchandani, P. (2017). Parenting and child mental health. London journal of primary care, 9(6), 86–94.

Sanders, M. R., Kirby, J. N., Tellegen, C. L., & Day, J. J. (2014). The Triple P-Positive Parenting Program: a systematic review and meta-analysis of a multi-level system of parenting support. Clinical psychology review, 34(4), 337–357.

Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”

Are you looking for SOLUTIONS for your struggling child or teen? 

Dr. Roseann and her team are all about solutions, so you are in the right place! 

There are 3 ways to work with Dr. Roseann: 


You can get her books for parents and professionals, including: It’s Gonna Be OK™: Proven Ways to Improve Your Child’s Mental Health, Teletherapy Toolkit™ and Brain Under Attack: A Resource For Parents and Caregivers of Children With PANS, PANDAS, and Autoimmune Encephalopathy.

If you are a business or organization that needs proactive guidance to support employee mental health or an organization looking for a brand representative, check out Dr. Roseann’s media page and professional speaking page to see how we can work together. 


Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of  media outlets including, CBS, NBC, FOX News, PIX11 NYC, The New York Times, The Washington Post,, Business Insider, USA Today, CNET, Marth Stewart, and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.” 

Dr. Roseann - Brain Behavior Reset Parent Toolkit

She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Medicine Mental Health Provider (CMHIMP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach.  She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) International Society for Neurofeedback and Research (ISNR) and The Association of Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback (AAPB).

© Roseann-Capanna-Hodge, LLC 2023

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.

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