10 Tips for Positive Behavior in Children and Teens

Let's face it: life for kids and parents is a whirlwind these days! Between school pressures and the chaos at home, it's no wonder our little ones deals with behavioral dysregulation. Sometimes they struggle with mood swings and tricky behaviors. But fear not—there are practical tips we can all use to help them navigate these challenges and foster positive behavior. Whether it's managing meltdowns or boosting their emotional resilience, every parent and teacher plays a crucial role in supporting our kids' growth and happiness. By understanding their needs and applying these tips, we can create a nurturing environment where children can thrive and feel good about themselves.

Every parent is worried about their child's behavior when young kids have behavioral problems, challenging behaviors such as temper tantrums, emotional outbursts, or withdrawn behaviors. One may wonder about the source of their child’s “bad behavior” and how to help them improve positive behavior and feel good about themselves.

The good news is that every parent and teacher can offer behavioral support, and teach behavioral self-regulation to cultivate desired behaviors at home and school. You are already teaching your child so much about how to function well in the world. The next level includes finding ways to get their brain to learn better and helping them find the best of systems and tools to reduce their stress and the friction at school and home. Most kids need individualized support, and this is where your detective parenting skills come into play. Identify their greatest areas of need and provide appropriate support.

Aligning Goals with Age-Appropriate Behavior Expectations

Positive behavioral interventions naturally involve adopting various lifestyle changes and incorporating habits, strategies, and practices that support and promote mental and emotional well-being. But first, your goal should also align with the behavior expectations for your child's age.

For example, if you're trying to encourage your 6-year-old to clean up their toys daily, ensure that this goal aligns with typical behavior expectations for their age. At this stage, children can follow simple instructions and take responsibility for small tasks. Make it a fun and rewarding activity, perhaps by turning cleanup time into a game or offering a sticker reward for each day they complete the task.

If you have teenagers, when setting rules for screen time, it's essential to consider the behavior expectations for teenagers, who can handle more responsibility and self-regulation compared to younger children.

Incorporating Natural Methods for Cultivating Positive Behavioral Interventions

Here are some effective behavior management practices and strategies:

1. Exercise to Promote Positive Behavior

We know through research that getting kids moving is a great way to improve how their brain alerts and how they remember things and take action. Kids who do regular exercise perform better in school and show fewer ADHD symptoms.

In a meta-analysis of 30 studies that looked at short-term and long-term studies supporting the clinical benefits of physical activity for individuals with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Ng et. al (2017) found, “Physical activity, in particular moderate-to-intense aerobic exercise, is a beneficial and well-tolerated intervention for children and adolescents with ADHD.”

Kids with ADHD benefited so much from moderate-to-intense aerobic exercise that the cognitive, behavioral, and physical symptoms of ADHD were alleviated in most instances. The kids with the greatest symptom relief participated in mixed exercise programs at school, likely providing an extra stimulation benefit.

Exercise has many neurological and physical benefits on the brain and behavior, but ultimately, it improves neurotransmitter function and calms sensory needs. These benefits lead to a calm brain, regulated behavior, and better mental health. And with a calm brain and regulated nervous system, it is easier to teach and reinforce positive behavior.

Spend quality time with your kids doing outdoor activities you both love. Doing so fosters a strong bond between you and your child and provides opportunities for them. It also makes children learn valuable new skills, and develop a deeper appreciation for nature. You can go hiking, biking, or playing at the park. This one-on-one time with your kids is a critical part of your relationship and also creates lasting memories and strengthens your connection with your child while promoting positive behavior and self-regulation.

2. Physical Activities Help Sensory Needs

Some children can be either hypersensitive or hypersensitive to sensory input, which leads to bad behavior. A child seeking sensory input may pull furniture or get very close to people because they are under-sensitive (or hypersensitive) to touch and seek sensory output.

Sensory needs include areas relating to the five senses: taste, touch, smell, sight, and sound. Additionally, there are sensory needs relating to motion and balance, known as our proprioceptive and vestibular senses. When one experiences sensory sensitivity, they have difficulty modulating information from the senses, resulting in some responsive behavioral output.

Sensory issues can cause your child distress when exposed to too much or too little stimuli. Hypersensitivity can cause some children to react to loud sounds by putting their fingers in their ears. It may also lead to a behavioral outburst, for instance, when clothes don’t feel right.

Many other specific behaviors and learning disabilities are associated with sensory needs. However, hyper or hypo-sensory responses are sometimes not so apparent to you or your child. The best person to advise on sensory needs would be an Occupational Therapist (OT). An occupational therapist can help them handle their visual, tactile, balance, motion, and auditory needs.

Managing these sensory needs positively impacts regulating children’s behavior, attention, and mood. Sensory exercises at home or with an OT help children regulate their input so they aren’t so affected by what should be benign information. Addressing these sensory issues can aid parents in fostering positive behavior.

3. Balance Blood Sugar and Insulin Levels

Dietary intervention can go a long way in fostering positive behavior. Types and practices of diets and interventions such as Paleo, GAPS, anti-inflammatory, and intermittent fasting have benefits such as regulating blood sugar and insulin, which helps prevent conditions like type 2 diabetes and improve emotional health.

High blood sugar or unregulated insulin levels can affect cognition, mood, attention, memory, and stress. When your blood sugar is high, your behavior is affected. As a result, you may need help with motivation, agitation, and thinking. Getting through the school day, finishing homework, or remembering to bring down your laundry will be much more complicated.

Adding foods higher in nutrients and swapping out foods for healthier alternatives is a great starting point to help regulate blood sugar and insulin levels.

I recommend that families start gradually by swapping out healthier versions of foods already enjoyed and adding more healthy fats. We all want to dive in or not do it at all, but a gradual approach is best for kids and families.

A better diet can support positive behavior by providing essential nutrients that promote brain function and stability in mood and energy levels. Nutrient-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can enhance cognitive function and emotional regulation, leading to improved behavior and overall well-being. Additionally, avoiding sugary and processed foods can help stabilize blood sugar levels, reduce irritability, and promote sustained focus and attention

4. Build Resilience through Positive Feedback

Fostering resilience in children requires positive feedback and opportunities for growth. Rather than expecting perfection, allowing kids to make mistakes builds their coping and communication skills and problem-solving abilities.

Encouraging age-appropriate decision-making and respecting their preferences nurtures self-confidence and independence. These experiences cultivate grit, resilience, positive behavior, and better social relationships in children.

During challenging times, guide children with encouragement and support and a focus on independent problem-solving. Being a role model by demonstrating effective stress management practices and balance in life sets a powerful example of support for children.

Integrating problem-solving skills into everyday life activities like music, art, and puzzles sparks curiosity and builds diverse skills. Promoting positive school behavior also involves students, families, and educators acknowledging and using behavioral expectations and reinforcing participation, collaboration, and respectful interactions with other students, and teachers.

Social development plays a crucial role in teaching children how to navigate life. Encouraging solid friendships within families, schools and an environment while providing guidance without overbearing supervision fosters independence and social skills.

Establishing clear expectations for positive behavior helps children understand boundaries and develop a healthy balance of responsibility and freedom. Allowing them to explore the world and experience natural consequences encourages growth.

Implementing a reward system where children earn privileges for their efforts is a practical way to reinforce positive behavior. By clearly defining expectations and offering immediate, meaningful rewards, such as extra playtime or a special activity, parents can motivate their children to consistently demonstrate desired positive behavior like completing tasks or showing kindness. This approach not only encourages positive behavior but also teaches children the value of effort and responsibility, promoting an encouraging and supportive family dynamic.

Spending quality time with your kids fosters positive behavior by strengthening parent-child bonds, enhancing communication skills, and providing opportunities for emotional support and guidance. Engaging in activities together encourages positive interactions, builds trust, and reinforces desired behaviors through modeling and positive reinforcement. This quality time also allows parents to understand their children's needs, interests, and challenges better, creating a supportive environment where positive behavior can flourish.

5. Explore the Secrets of the Gut-Brain Connection

Healthy gut, happy brain! There is a connection between our gut and brain, and it is connected through the vagus nerve. Not many parents know that gut health is also a part of effective behavior management strategies for promoting behavioral regulation.

The gut microbiome is essential for good mental health, as it helps produce vital neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine that are associated with feelings of joy and satisfaction and are beneficial to your mental health.

So, exploring ways to maintain a healthy and happy microbiome through supplementation and a healthy diet is essential for better behavior and mental health and should be a priority for all parents of kids with behavioral issues.

Diets such as intermittent fasting, Paleo, GAPS, etc., enhance your mental health by improving digestion, balancing hormones, and increasing the gut microbiota levels that keep anxiety and depression at bay. The prescribed foods in these diets contain nutrients that can contribute to healthy gut flora.

Maintaining a healthy, anti-inflammatory, nutrient-dense diet is best for a healthy brain and gut. Sugary and unhealthy food dysregulates blood sugar and spikes insulin levels, affecting mood swings, memory, stress, and attention.

A healthy gut can encourage positive behavior through its influence on brain function and mood regulation. The gut and brain are closely connected via the gut-brain axis, with the gut microbiota playing a crucial role in producing neurotransmitters like serotonin, which affects mood and behavior.

Optimal connections between the gut and the brain boost overall mood. My BrainBraviorReset Program™ considers family and children’s diet a vital mental health component, so we show parents how to weave healthier foods into the family diet.

6. Nutrition

Food fuels the brain. That is precisely why loading your system with the proper fuel unleashes the best version of yourself. Ensuring a balagraphicnced diet rich in nutrients supports physical health. It enhances cognitive function, mood stability, and overall mental well-being, allowing us to perform optimally in various aspects of life.

Eating the right food enhances your mood and emotional balance, so it must be prioritized when addressing behavior and mental health. On the flip side, a diet high in sugar impairs the brain and triggers symptoms of depression, decreases motivation, and makes it harder to listen and focus.

We can all relate to the post-indulgence food coma! The same happens to your child with breakfast cereal, muffins, or pizza. These are brain-drain foods.

The right foods can increase beneficial brain chemicals. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that encourages a wealth of essential bodily functions, including fostering restful sleep, a hearty appetite, and a positive mood while easing pain sensations. Your food intake influences the production of serotonin, 95% of which is produced in the intestinal tract.

A brain-boosting diet minimizes or completely eliminates processed foods and sugars and focuses on foods that promote the microbiome, including fermented foods like sauerkraut, yogurt, pickled beets, kombucha, and kimchi. Kids can participate in choosing or making these, which makes them more likely to eat them.

Half of your plate should be fresh fruits and vegetables. The remaining half should contain unprocessed grains, fish, seafood, meats, and healthy fats. Most kids with behavioral issues are especially deficient in healthy fats and protein, so prioritizing these in their meals can promote better behavior.

7. Deep Sleep

Kids with behavioral issues rarely get enough restful or deep sleep. Some kids have trouble sleeping, and others wake up a lot. Some people have physical or mental health issues that impair sleep.

The question becomes, why do so many kids with behavioral issues have trouble sleeping?

There are many reasons kids with behavioral problems have sleep issues, and looking at why your child is struggling with getting enough sleep is essential.

These positive behavioral interventions when reinforced can successfully help kids and teens self-regulate. To achieve the best results in implementing a new positive behavior, commit to practicing it consistently for 30 days. This period helps form a habit, making positive behavior a natural part of your routine. 

Track your progress daily to stay motivated and accountable. Additionally, setting specific, achievable goals and rewarding yourself for small milestones can enhance your commitment and success. By the end of 30 days, improvement in behavior is more likely to be ingrained, leading to lasting change and even positive academic outcomes.

Common reasons why kids have sleep problems:

• Medication Side Effects
• Insomnia
• Blood Sugar Issues
• Night Terrors and Nightmares
• Sleep Talking and Walking
• Snoring and Sleep Apnea
• Restless Leg Syndrome
• Nighttime Seizures
• Mental Health Issues
• Trauma
• Poor Bedtime Routines

Understanding why your child isn’t sleeping is essential to addressing their behavior. Sleep is a foundational component of mental health, and without good sleep, the brain can’t detoxify, focus, learn, and regulate mood.

8. Use Supplements to Regulate Behavior

We are all so busy these days, especially transitioning from summer to fall. This probably means we aren’t getting enough sit-down meals and may even have to settle for grabbing bagels or chips on the go. Then you feel guilty… Ugh! Trust me, you aren’t alone in this!

The problem is that your kid isn’t getting enough nutrients to support optimal brain and body function. This can lead to low energy levels, brain fog, or even feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety that you can’t otherwise explain. When you don’t eat right, it shows up in your unwanted behaviors.

Your diet directly impacts your brain and gut health, affecting your mental well-being. Not getting enough nutrients can lead to problems like tantrums, emotional outbursts, and low motivation. As your body may be missing specific vitamins, consider taking supplements associated with improved focus and behavior.

Fortunately, adding essential nutrients to your diet can help combat these issues by adding antioxidants that support a healthy nervous system. So, to improve your mental health, ensure you eat plenty of nutrient-rich foods or add supplements that fill in the gaps.

Nutrients are essential in keeping the nervous and circulatory systems functioning correctly. Nutrient deficiency can strain organs and increase the risk for chronic diseases, behavioral disorders, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and OCD.

Supplements for Better Behavior:

• Folate is essential for producing red blood cells, which are necessary for proper brain and body function and detoxification.
• Potassium promotes heart, nerve, and muscle function and helps to deliver essential nutrients to cells while removing waste products. Low levels of potassium can lead to mental health problems such as brain fog, memory loss, mood swings, depression, psychosis, and confusion.
• Calcium – Calcium helps transmit signals between nerve cells, promoting a calming effect on the nervous system. Low calcium levels have been linked to depression and stress. Calcium works well with magnesium, vitamin D, and potassium to support overall health.
• Dietary fiber is essential for maintaining a healthy gut and promoting mental health. The gut-brain connection is well-established; a healthy gut is necessary to produce neurotransmitters like serotonin.
• Vitamin D – Vitamin D receptors are found in every body tissue, including the brain, heart, muscles, and the endocrine and immune systems. Having adequate vitamin D levels is necessary for mood, anxiety, and immune function.
• Vitamin B12 is one of the essential B vitamins that helps the body to produce energy and fight off diseases. Low levels of B12 can make one feel unfocused, tired, mentally tired, or have brain fog, and it can interfere with mood and managing stress.
• Vitamin C is essential for boosting immunity and maintaining healthy brain function. It helps neurotransmitters communicate and aids in developing and maintaining neural connections.
• Magnesium involves over 300 bodily processes, including regulating the stress response, supporting the nervous system and metabolism, and synthesizing antioxidants like glutathione.

9. Create Joyful Moments

Daily life can be busy and stressful, and parenting a special needs child can be even more stressful. It’s easy to get caught up, be busy, and forget to laugh. It is essential to slow down and have those special fun moments.

Laughter and silliness can greatly defuse tense situations and moody or cranky kids. When our youngest gets grumpy in my house, I always say, “Is that the Hulk coming out? Where is Bruce Banner?” Smiles and laughter always stop him in his tracks!

Making sure to stop and have fun has to be a priority at home. That means stopping and dancing, telling jokes, and just being silly.

Stress is a constant in every home and must be countered— laughter is the best medicine. It helps kids reduce stress naturally, identify when natural stressors are present, and learn to manage whatever comes their way.

10. Look At Why A Behavior is Happening

Kids will seek out attention in any way they can. When families accidentally give their child negative attention, that is, paying the most attention when a child misbehaves, it will likely happen again. It is not helpful to think they are acting like this on purpose. You all are just stuck…behaviorally.

Instead of feeling upset about your child’s behavior, flip that script and think about what could improve your kid’s behavior. That means pulling back and looking at why the behavior is happening.

When a child has behavioral issues or misbehaves, the child doesn't know what to do, and parents usually say things like, “Stop touching your sister” or “Knock it off.” It is more helpful to show your child what they should do.

Think about what they need for that “good behavior” you all want to see displayed. Are they missing coping skills or an understanding of the task? Do they need more practice?

When you take a closer look at why, I promise you, you will be surprised at what you find that your child needs to be behaviorally successful.

While this isn’t a substitute for professional one-to-one support from a therapist, many parents have uncovered a lot about their child’s behavior when they take the time to dig deeper. The next step is providing explicit guidance and positive reinforcement to increase learning.

There are many neurological and physical benefits to how you can naturally improve your kid’s behavior, but ultimately, these behavior management strategies improve neurotransmitter function and calm sensory needs. These benefits lead to a calm brain, regulated behavior, and better mental health.

For more tips and resources on strategies to improve your child’s behavior, get instant access to effective strategies that work. Download the 147 Therapist-Endorsed Self-Regulation Strategies for Children for free!

Reinforcing Positive Behavior in School Culture and Setting

To enforce positive behavior in school, especially within special education programs, it's crucial to provide individualized support that helps each student succeed. Students receive encouragement and motivation when their positive behavior in school is acknowledged.

In early childhood settings, focus on developing communication skills through consistent and clear instructions. Reinforce positive behavior with praise and rewards, create structured routines, and collaborate with teachers and specialists to ensure that strategies are tailored to each child's needs. Effective communication with both the child and school staff is key to fostering an environment where positive behavior is encouraged and maintained.

Classroom expectations set the tone for a productive learning environment by defining the standards of behavior and academic engagement. These expectations typically include guidelines on respecting peers and teachers, participating actively in lessons, completing assignments on time, and following classroom rules. Clear and consistent communication of these expectations helps students understand what is expected of them, fostering a positive atmosphere conducive to learning. When upheld consistently by both teachers and students, classroom expectations contribute to a structured and supportive environment where everyone can thrive academically and socially.