Obsessive thoughts can feel like an endless loop for kids and teens with OCD, pulling them into a cycle of anxiety and rituals that seem to bring relief but only make things worse in the long run.
As a parent, watching your child get caught up in these thoughts—especially when they’re trying to resist them—is heartbreaking. The thoughts feel real to your child, even though they’re just thoughts, not facts. They don’t define who your child is or what they’re capable of.
OCD doesn’t just create stress; it can disrupt everything—from school to friendships and even basic daily routines. It’s exhausting for your child and for you, too.
As a psychologist who has supported many kids and young adults with OCD, I’ve seen how powerful these obsessive thoughts can be and how they impact a family’s daily life. But I’ve also seen the progress that’s possible with the right tools.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts Starts With Understanding Them
Obsessive thoughts are unwanted, intrusive, and repetitive ideas or mental images that feel impossible to ignore. These thoughts often cause anxiety or distress because they clash with your child’s values or desires, yet feel overwhelming and persistent.
In children and adults with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), these thoughts can range from fears of contamination or harm to doubts about safety or morality, creating an intense urge to neutralize or “fix” the distress they have caused.
Obsessive thoughts tend to feel urgent and out of the person’s control, and they often trigger compulsive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety.
I met Alex, one of the sweetest little boys, who was constantly worried about getting sick. Because of this, he is compelled to wash his hands repeatedly (taking a lot of time), in the hopes of controlling his fear.
However, these are what we call temporary relief strategies or “instant band-aid solutions” that can only reinforce the cycle. Alex never grew out of his obsessive worries, making his thoughts return even more persistently.
“The Issue Isn’t the Obsessive Thoughts”
On average, people experience over 6,000 thoughts each day, some of which can be distressing and intrusive. The primary issue isn't the obsessive thoughts themselves but the negative reactions they provoke, leading to distress, avoidance, and ritualistic behaviors.
These thoughts can be extremely distressing and distracting, making it challenging to focus on anything else. This can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as:
- Withdrawing from others
- Avoidance
- Mood lability
- Engaging in compulsive or ritualistic behaviors
Common Types of OCD in Kids
Obsessive thoughts can take many forms, and they are a common challenge for children with OCD.
- Contamination OCD – Your child may be afraid of germs, dirt, or illness, constantly worrying about becoming sick or accidentally contaminating others by touching something they believe to be “unclean.”
- Symmetry and Order OCD – This involves a strong need for things to be arranged in a specific way. If something feels “off,” children might feel the urge to repeatedly rearrange items or perform rituals until everything feels “just right.”
- Harm OCD – Fears about causing harm to themselves or others, even though they have no intention of doing so. These thoughts may involve violent or catastrophic scenarios, like worrying they might accidentally hurt someone.
- Relationship OCD – Children may obsess over the “rightness” of their relationships, questioning if their feelings toward friends or family are genuine, or if their relationships are stable or true.
- Just Right OCD – Your child may experience a sense of discomfort when things aren’t perfectly aligned or “just right,” prompting them to repeat actions or rituals to make everything feel more comfortable or balanced.
There are more types of obsessive thoughts anchored in different natures like Rumination OCD. If left unmanaged, your child may develop more types as they grow and become and adult.
What Causes Obsessive Thoughts?
Obsessive thoughts in children with OCD are often triggered by heightened stress, anxiety, or external pressures such as school challenges or social changes. As stress levels increase, so does the intensity of these intrusive thoughts, making it harder for children to focus or function. These thoughts are closely tied to emotional states, meaning that stressful situations can make obsessions more frequent and intense.
In some cases, obsessive thoughts may also coincide with other mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders, depression, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). For children with PANS/PANDAS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome), infections or toxins can lead to neuroinflammation, which further exacerbates obsessive thinking. By recognizing these triggers and their impact on your child’s mental health, you can support them in managing stress and improving their ability to cope with intrusive thoughts.
Recognizing They Exist Is the First Step
Acknowledging unwanted, intrusive thoughts—rather than trying to push them away—is a key step in managing OCD. This approach is based on the principle of acceptance, which teaches children (and parents) to tolerate these difficult thoughts without fighting or avoiding them.
When kids with OCD learn to sit with these thoughts without responding, they gradually lessen the power these thoughts hold over them. It’s a compassionate but effective way to break the cycle of obsessing and then needing relief.
Here are more specific strategies to accepting obsessive thoughts:
- Challenge the thoughts by questioning if they’re true or important.
- Reframe the thoughts in a more positive or neutral light.
- Accept them without giving them meaning or significance.
- Don’t attempt to eliminate them.
- Recognize them as typical.
- Acknowledge their uncomfortableness.
- Learn to tolerate the thoughts.
- Practice resisting compulsions.
Accepting intrusive thoughts doesn’t mean liking them or endorsing them. Instead, it means allowing these thoughts to exist without attaching fear, judgment, or urgency to them. By learning to tolerate discomfort, children begin to see these thoughts as just thoughts—not commands or threats. With guidance, your child can start building resilience and a sense of control, understanding that these thoughts don’t define them or dictate their actions.
Practical Strategies to Manage Obsessive Thoughts
Heightened awareness of your child’s triggers and the patterns of their obsessive thoughts can be a game-changer in managing OCD. Understanding what sets off these intrusive thoughts—whether it’s stress, a certain environment, or specific situations—can help you guide them toward healthier responses.
To manage these thoughts effectively, it’s also important to incorporate techniques that support both the mind and body.
- mindfulness meditation
- cognitive behavioral therapy
- deep breathing
- regular physical activity
Regular physical activity is a great way to release built-up stress and anxiety, helping your child feel more balanced and in control. By practicing these methods regularly, children can learn to manage their OCD symptoms and feel empowered in their journey toward healing.
Practice Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness practice can help cope with challenging thoughts and feelings by:
- Anchoring them in the present
- Diverting their attention
- Observing thoughts and feelings without judgment
- Enduring discomfort through the application of coping skills
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Techniques
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on helping individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns. In the case of treating children and teens with OCD, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is often used as part of CBT to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.
This approach helps the child confront distressing thoughts without resorting to compulsive behaviors. It is crucial for a licensed mental health professional to guide both the child and their parents through this process to ensure it is done effectively and safely.
One key CBT technique that we teach parents at the center is helping your child identify negative or intrusive thoughts without attaching meaning to them. When your child experiences worry or distress, challenge those thoughts to reduce their impact.
Encouraging your child to sit with the discomfort of these thoughts, rather than acting on them, is a central goal of CBT. By naming and recognizing harmful patterns, your child can better manage their thoughts, making them less overwhelming and disruptive. This practice, when done consistently, can significantly reduce the power obsessive thoughts have over their daily life.
Deep Breathing Exercises
Deep breathing exercises, which promote relaxation and soothe the nervous system, can effectively manage obsessive thoughts.
Physical Exercise
Regular exercise promotes a clearer mind and a healthier body, reducing worry and uplifting mood. Physical activities like running or biking can serve as effective distractions from obsessive thoughts.
Starting with small, manageable physical activities can be beneficial when managing OCD symptoms.
Establish a Routine
Starting the day with simple activities like making the bed can help establish a sense of control and routine.
Scheduling regular breaks during the day can prevent overwhelm and maintain mental clarity.
Balanced Diet and Sleep
An anti-inflammatory diet and avoiding sugary foods can help maintain stable energy levels and mood, as well as reduce neuroinflammation, which is beneficial for overall mental health.
A consistent sleep schedule improves the quality of sleep and overall mental health. A lack of sleep can exacerbate anxious thoughts and feelings. In fact, the Anxiety and Depression Association emphasizes the importance of proper sleep for maintaining mental well-being.
Time in Nature
Spending time in nature can:
- Ground individuals in the present moment
- Draw attention away from intrusive thoughts
- Boost mood
- Reduce stress
- Engage the senses
- Take the mind off intrusive thoughts
Activities such as hiking or walking in parks can provide mental clarity and reduce obsessive thoughts. Exposure to natural sunlight can regulate sleep patterns and improve mood.
Writing and Journaling
Encourage your child to document their obsessive thoughts, which can empower them by increasing awareness of unsettling thought patterns and externalizing them through expressive writing, thereby alleviating anxiety. Journaling can be used to track progress and recognize patterns and triggers of obsessive thoughts, helping to reflect on coping strategies that have worked.
Journaling to celebrate wins helps a fearful brain focus on positive strides.
Visualization Techniques
By creating a distance between your child and their thoughts, visualization techniques can enhance their sense of ease. Encourage your child to imagine intrusive thoughts as leaves blowing away in the wind or as spam emails that can be ignored. Visualizing OCD as a separate person or entity can help your child gain psychological distance from their symptoms.
Visualization can also involve imagining a safe place or scenario to shift focus from obsessive thoughts. Guided imagery is a visualization technique where your child listens to detailed descriptions to create mental images, helping to calm and refocus their mind.
Distraction Methods
Distraction methods, which shift focus and break the cycle of compulsive thinking, can effectively manage obsessive thoughts in kids and teens. Some effective distractions include:
- Engaging in creative activities, such as painting, writing, or other hands-on tasks
- Social interactions, like calling a friend or spending time with family
- Focusing on sensory experiences, such as what they can see, hear, and feel
When to Seek Professional Help
If you notice that your child is unable to control their obsessive thoughts or behaviors, and these thoughts are becoming excessive, it's important to consider seeking professional help. If your child spends more than an hour each day focused on their obsessions or compulsions, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional. A therapist or psychologist can help assess the situation, identify the root causes of these intrusive thoughts, and guide your child in developing healthy coping mechanisms.
If your child's compulsive behaviors no longer relieve their anxiety and instead continue to take over, it's also a sign that professional support is needed. When these behaviors start affecting their daily life—whether it’s their school performance, social interactions, or family relationships—it’s time to consult a professional. Early intervention can help your child regain control, reduce the power of these thoughts, and lead a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Psychotherapy Options
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a technique to help your child resist the urge to complete compulsive rituals by repeatedly exposing them to the source of their obsession and refraining from the compulsive behavior. ERP helps kids and teens overcome disturbing, obsessive thoughts by tolerating them through exposure and response prevention exercises.
Therapists collaborate with parents and their children to formulate suitable treatment plans aimed at teaching them to counteract their obsessive thinking.
Neurofeedback and PEMF
These brain tools soothe the nervous system, transitioning one from a dysregulated state to a calm one. When the nervous system is calm, it can help one manage negative thoughts, unwanted thoughts and obsessive thought patterns that stress activate the body. When fear takes over and the intrusive thought feels overwhelming, one doesn't feel like they can eliminate intrusive thoughts and that is when avoidance rituals can take over.
Science-backed tools such as neurofeedback and PEMF are safe, natural and effective alternative to medication.
Your Child Doesn’t Always Have to Be Stuck
Supporting your child through OCD can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. With the right strategies and support, your child can regain control over their obsessive thoughts. Recognizing triggers, practicing techniques like CBT, deep breathing, and physical activity, along with maintaining a healthy routine, can make a big difference.
Building resilience through proper sleep, nutrition, and time spent outdoors can also support emotional regulation. It’s important to remember that these obsessive thoughts do not define your child. With patience, understanding, and professional guidance, your child can learn to manage these thoughts and lead a fulfilling life.
Key Takeaways
- Managing obsessive thoughts involves accepting and reframing them rather than trying to suppress them. Techniques like mindfulness meditation, CBT, and physical exercise are effective strategies.
- Common triggers for obsessive thoughts include stress and significant life changes. Identifying these triggers can help in preparing for and managing obsessive thoughts.
- Establishing routines, spending time in nature, and maintaining a balanced diet and sleep schedule can help build resilience against obsessive thoughts. Professional help should be sought if these thoughts severely impact daily life.
What are obsessive thoughts?
Obsessive thoughts are persistent, intrusive thoughts or mental images that cause anxiety and distress. They can be challenging to manage and can interfere with daily life.
How can I manage intrusive thoughts?
You can manage intrusive thoughts by practicing mindfulness meditation, using CBT techniques, and engaging in deep breathing exercises and physical exercise. These strategies can help you regain control over your thoughts and reduce their impact on your daily life.
When should I seek professional help for obsessive thoughts?
You should seek professional help for obsessive thoughts if they become persistent, cause significant distress, or interfere with daily life. Getting support can make a difference in managing obsessive thoughts.
What are common triggers for obsessive thoughts?
Common triggers for obsessive thoughts include stress, anxiety, significant life changes, and other mental health conditions. It's important to be mindful of these triggers in order to manage obsessive thoughts effectively.
How can I build resilience against obsessive thoughts?
Building resilience against obsessive thoughts can be achieved by maintaining a routine, balanced diet, regular sleep schedule, and spending time in nature. This will contribute to a more balanced and resilient mindset.
Citations
Julien, D., O’Connor, K. P., & Aardema, F. (2007). Intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and appraisals in obsessive–compulsive disorder: A critical review. Clinical Psychology Review, 27(3), 366–383. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2006.12.004
McKay, D., Sookman, D., Neziroglu, F., Wilhelm, S., Stein, D. J., Kyrios, M., Matthews, K., & Veale, D. (2015). Efficacy of cognitive-behavioral therapy for obsessive–compulsive disorder. Psychiatry Research, 225(3), 236–246. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2014.11.058
Oddoux, S., Violette, P., Cornet, J., Akkoyun-Farinez, J., Besnier, M., Noël, A., & Rouillon, F. (2022). Effect of a Dietary Supplement Combining Bioactive Peptides and Magnesium on Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety: A Clinical Trial in General Practice. Nutrients, 14(12), 2425. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu14122425
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in OCD and Anxiety who frequently is in the media:
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