Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
When your child is drowning in intrusive thoughts or rituals that take over your home, it’s terrifying and lonely. OCD is often misunderstood—and misdiagnosed—leaving parents exhausted and unsure how to help.
Today, I’m joined by our lead OCD therapist, Michele Bernal, to unpack what OCD really is, why traditional approaches fall short, and how calming the brain first gives kids the solid foundation they need to talk back to OCD.
Why does my child’s OCD seem hidden—are these behaviors or just “quirks”?
OCD isn’t always the obvious handwashing or checking behaviors parents expect. Many children have silent, mental compulsions—constant reassurance seeking, intrusive thoughts, internal counting, or “redoing something in their mind.”
These fears feel too scary or embarrassing for kids to say out loud, so parents miss the signs.
Key takeaways:
- OCD is fear-based, not attention-seeking.
- Mental rituals are just as powerful as physical ones.
- Kids often hide scary thoughts because they fear being judged.
Real-Life Scenario
A parent thinks their child is just “overly picky,” not realizing the intense worry driving their need to arrange toys just right to prevent something bad from happening.
Could my child’s OCD be misdiagnosed as anxiety, ADHD, or autism?
Unfortunately, yes. Michele and I see this constantly. Clinicians often notice the dysregulation—the worry, restlessness, avoidance—but miss the intrusive thoughts and compulsions underneath.
Why this happens:
- Providers treat surface behaviors, not the fear cycle behind them.
- OCD can coexist with ADHD, anxiety, autism, or depression.
- Without identifying OCD, treatment plans mismatch the child’s actual needs.
What helps:
- A trained OCD specialist
- QEEG brain maps that show over- and under-stimulated areas
- Parent education about the child’s fear-driven behaviors
When OCD is misdiagnosed, families often try strategy after strategy that doesn’t work—and feel defeated when nothing changes.
If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…
Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home.
How do I stop accommodating my child’s OCD without triggering a meltdown?
This is one of the biggest pain points parents share with us. You’re trying to help your child feel safe… but accommodating rituals feeds OCD and strengthens the fear cycle.
Instead of accommodating, try:
- Co-regulate first. Your calm helps their nervous system settle.
- Set a small limit, like reducing the ritual time by a few minutes.
- Name the OCD voice so your child learns it’s separate from them.
- Create a window of tolerance, slowly building their capacity to handle discomfort.
Real-Life Scenario
A parent keeps answering the same reassurance question all day (“Are you sure I won’t get sick?”). Instead, they begin responding with, “That sounds like your OCD talking—let’s take a breath together first.”
What actually helps kids overcome OCD long-term?
Successful OCD treatment is never a quick fix. Kids need tools that calm the brain first and make exposure work possible. Michele and I emphasize a whole-family approach, because OCD affects everyone in the home.
What works best:
- Calming brain inflammation before ERP
- Mindfulness and regulation tools to stabilize emotions
- Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) with a trained provider
- Family involvement, including siblings when appropriate
- Consistent, small steps instead of waiting for big leaps
Kids make meaningful progress when parents learn not to respond to OCD’s demands and instead support their child’s growing confidence and resilience.
🗣️ “If we don’t talk back to OCD, it’s going to take charge—and hijack the whole family system. But when we calm the brain first, kids can finally do the work.” — Dr. Roseann
Takeaway
OCD is overwhelming—but it’s not your fault, and you’re not alone.
When parents understand the fear cycle and stop accommodating rituals, kids learn to take their power back. Calming the brain paired with ERP creates real, lasting change.
FAQs
What triggers OCD in kids?
Stress, illness, inflammation, and genetics can all play a role. OCD is a fear-driven brain response, not a choice.
Can OCD go away without treatment?
Typically not. OCD gets stronger when rituals continue. Treatment helps kids break the cycle safely.
Is OCD caused by anxiety?
OCD is related to anxiety but operates differently. It requires specific treatment like ERP.
Feel like you’ve tried everything and still don’t have answers?
The Solution Matcher helps you find the best starting point based on your child’s symptoms, behaviors, and history. It’s fast, free, and based on decades of clinical expertise.
Get your personalized plan now at www.drroseann.com/help
