When every day feels like a battle, you’re not failing. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I share practical steps to help you use calm modeling and clear limits to guide behavior change. You’ll leave knowing how to teach skills once your child is calm. Understanding what drives overreactive behavior in kids can help you respond with more calm and connection.
Why does my child melt down after school, even if the day “went fine”?
After-school time piles on sensory, social, and cognitive load. A dysregulated nervous system can’t process more input, so small requests trigger big reactions.
Behavior is communication—it’s a clue the brain is overwhelmed.
- Regulate first: water, snack, quiet space, movement.
- Delay talking: coach after calm returns.
- Keep it predictable: same decompression routine daily.
Is my child under- or overstimulated—and how do I tell the difference?
Understimulation shows up as zoning out, low energy, or “won’t start.” Overstimulation looks like irritability, sensory reactivity, and jumping from task to task. Match the input to the state.
- Understimulated: brisk walk, heavy work, upbeat music, simple “first–then.”
- Overstimulated: dim lights, deep breathing, weighted lap pad, fewer choices.
Remember: Let’s calm the brain first. Teaching sticks after the regulation.
How do I stop yelling when my child is yelling?
Kids borrow our nervous system. When we co-regulate, we give their brain a template for calm.
Model what you want to see.
- Lower your voice and slow your breath; keep commands short.
- Name the state: “Your brain is in fast mode; let’s get it to slow.”
Scenario: Your teen slams a door. You stay neutral: “We’ll talk when we’re both calm.” Later, you problem-solve and role-play better exits.
Try: 3 quick techniques to calm a dysregulated child
We set rules, but nothing changes. What boundaries actually help?
Inconsistent or vague limits create anxiety—and more dysregulation. Clarity + consistency = safety.
- Be explicit: visual rules, one standard across caregivers.
- Make boundaries realistic: teach the rule, then practice it.
- Enforce calmly, every time: no shaming, no bargaining in the red zone.
Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in. Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.
🗣️ “We can’t expect our kids to stop yelling if we’re yelling at them. Model the behavior you want, and teach once everyone is calm.”
— Dr. Roseann
Wrap-Up: Regulate. Connect. Correct.™
It’s a dysregulated kid, and you’re not alone. When you read behavior as a brain signal, you’ll know whether to add input or reduce it, when to hold a boundary, and when to coach skills. Start small, stay consistent, and watch calm grow. For next steps, see a bold, practical co-regulation techniques you can use today.
FAQs: Strategies for Positive Behavior in Kids
Do natural consequences really work?
Yes—when delivered calmly and consistently. They let real-life feedback teach without power struggles.
What if different caregivers have different rules?
Align on 3–5 non-negotiables and post them. Inconsistency fuels dysregulation.
Is this approach anti-discipline?
No. It’s a regulation-first discipline—clear limits taught through calm modeling and practice.
Every child’s journey is different.
That’s why cookie-cutter solutions don’t work. Take the free Solution Matcher and get a customized path—no guessing, just clear next steps: www.drroseann.com/help
