Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
When your child gets hijacked by obsessive thoughts, it can feel like you’re constantly in a storm you can’t tame, no matter how much love and patience you give.
It is hard.
But know that you don’t have to keep guessing or going at it alone.
There are science-backed ways to calm your kid’s brain, stop obsessive thoughts, and bring more peace into your home.
How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts Starts With Understanding Them
Obsessive thoughts are upsetting ideas that pop into your child’s mind, even when they don’t want them to.
These intrusive thoughts feel intense and out of place, often going against your child’s values or sense of safety.
You know it’s OCD when these thoughts keep coming back no matter how much your child tries to ignore them.
These “senseless fears” can hijack your child, pushing them to develop compulsions, which are repetitive actions that children do to hopefully feel safe again.
Real-Life Example: Alex’s Story
Alex, one of the sweetest kids I’ve worked with, was so afraid of getting sick that he washed his hands constantly—even if it meant missing parts of class.
While it gave him a little relief in the moment, the more he gave in to the ritual, the stronger and more relentless the intrusive thoughts became.
“The Issue Isn’t the Obsessive Thoughts”
On average, people experience over 6,000 thoughts daily, and some can feel distressing or intrusive. The real problem isn’t the obsessive thoughts themselves but how one reacts—often with:
- Distress
- Avoidance
- Ritualistic behaviors
These thoughts can be overwhelming, stealing focus and making daily life harder. Common responses include:
- Withdrawing from others
- Avoiding situations
- Mood swings or mood lability
- Performing compulsive or ritualistic behaviors to ease discomfort
What are the Common Types of OCD in Kids?
Obsessive thoughts can show up in different ways and often challenge kids with OCD:
- Contamination OCD: Fear of germs, illness, or spreading “dirt” to others (Jalal et al., 2022).
- Symmetry and Order OCD: Strong need to rearrange items until things feel “just right.”
- Harm OCD: Scary or violent thoughts about accidentally hurting themselves or others, despite having no intent.
- Relationship OCD: Persistent worry about whether feelings toward loved ones are genuine or relationships are secure.
- Just Right OCD: Discomfort unless things feel perfectly aligned, leading to repeated actions.
Other forms, like Rumination OCD, also exist, and kids may develop new themes over time. Spotting these patterns helps you understand what’s really fueling your child’s behavior.
What Causes Obsessive Thoughts?
Obsessive thoughts don’t just pop out of nowhere—they sneak in fast when a child’s nervous system gets pushed past its limit.
Some common triggers include:
- Stress and anxiety make it challenging for kids to focus or get through the day.
- Emotional overload that fuels obsessions to grow stronger and more frequent.
- Other mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or PTSD often tag along.
- PANS/PANDAS can cause brain inflammation from infections or toxins, triggering sudden spikes in symptoms.
The bright side? Once you spot what’s overwhelming your child’s system, calming their brain becomes possible.
How Does Recognizing Intrusive Thoughts Help?
Instead of pushing unwanted, intrusive thoughts away, acknowledging them helps manage OCD. Acceptance teaches kids (and parents) to sit with tough thoughts without fighting or avoiding.
When children learn to simply notice these thoughts without reacting, the grip those thoughts hold starts to fade. It’s a kind, effective way to break the cycle of obsessing followed by seeking relief.
Here are key strategies for accepting obsessive thoughts:
- Question whether the thoughts are true or important.
- Reframe thoughts with a more positive or neutral view.
- Accept thoughts without attaching meaning or significance.
- Avoid trying to eliminate the thoughts.
- See obsessive thoughts as normal experiences.
- Notice the discomfort without reacting.
- Build tolerance for the thoughts over time.
- Practice resisting compulsive behaviors.
Accepting intrusive thoughts doesn’t mean liking or agreeing with them. It means letting them exist without fear, judgment, or urgency.
Through this, children learn these thoughts are just thoughts—not orders or dangers. With support, they grow resilience and control, realizing those thoughts don’t define or control their actions.
What Practical Strategies Help Manage Obsessive Thoughts?
Getting a clear sense of your child’s triggers and the way obsessive thoughts show up can seriously change the game in managing OCD. Managing these thoughts well means supporting both mind and body together—not just one or the other.
Here are some practical strategies to manage obsessive thoughts:
1. Practice Mindfulness Meditation
- Anchor attention in the present
- Observe thoughts without judgment
- Endure discomfort calmly
2. Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Techniques
A major component of CBT is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which interrupts the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors (Fenske & Schwenk, 2009). This therapeutic process is most effective when guided by a licensed mental health professional.
Here’s how CBT strategies can support your child:
- Identify and reshape negative thought patterns
- Separate thoughts from truth
- Resist compulsions
- Label harmful patterns
- Build emotional resilience
3. Deep Breathing Exercises
- Promote relaxation
- Soothe the nervous system
4. Regular Physical Activity
- Release stress and anxiety
- Improve mood
- Start with small, manageable activities
5. Establish a Routine
- Create predictable daily habits (e.g., making the bed)
- Schedule regular breaks
6. Maintain Balanced Diet and Sleep
- Follow an anti-inflammatory diet
- Avoid sugary foods
- Keep a consistent sleep schedule
7. Spend Time in Nature
- Ground in the present moment
- Boost mood and reduce stress
- Engage the senses
- Regulate sleep with sunlight exposure
8. Writing and Journaling
- Track obsessive thoughts and triggers
- Celebrate progress and wins
- Externalize anxiety through expressive writing
9. Visualization Techniques
- Imagine intrusive thoughts as leaves or spam emails
- Visualize OCD as separate from the self
- Use guided imagery of safe places
10. Distraction Methods
- Engage in creative activities (painting, writing)
- Socialize with friends or family
- Focus on sensory experiences (sight, sound, touch)
When Should You Seek Professional Help for Your Child’s Obsessive Thoughts?
Ever feel like your child’s brain just won’t hit pause? When obsessive thoughts take over, it’s likely more than just a phase.
Here’s what to watch for:
- Obsessions or compulsions take up over an hour a day
- Compulsive behaviors no longer relieve anxiety
- School, friendships, or even family life start to suffer
If that sounds familiar, early support from a licensed mental health professional can help your child quiet intrusive thoughts and feel more in control.
What are the Treatments for Obsessive Thoughts?
Psychotherapy
- Focuses on changing negative thought patterns.
- Explores feelings and behaviors in a safe space.
- Involves collaboration between therapists, parents, and children.
- Develops personalized treatment plans.
- Builds healthy coping skills.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
- Helps resist compulsive rituals.
- Uses gradual exposure to obsessions.
- Teaches tolerance of distressing thoughts.
- Reduces anxiety over time.
- Weakens obsessive thinking.
Neurofeedback
- Trains brain to shift from stress to calm.
- Calms nervous system.
- Supports managing intrusive and obsessive thoughts (Zafarmand et al, 2022).
- Helps resist avoidance behaviors triggered by fear.
Pulsed Electromagnetic Field Therapy (PEMF)
- Uses electromagnetic pulses to soothe nervous system.
- Reduces stress responses fueling obsessive thinking.
- Natural and non-invasive.
- Supports emotional regulation.
- Acts as an alternative or complement to medication.
Remember—obsessive thoughts don’t define your child. With patience and expert guidance, they can learn to manage these challenges and thrive.
Parent Action Steps
FAQs
What exactly are obsessive thoughts?
Obsessive thoughts are repetitive and unwanted ideas or images that cause anxiety or distress. These thoughts, focusing on fears, doubts, or disturbing ideas, often feel intrusive and hard to ignore.
Do obsessive thoughts always lead to compulsive behaviors?
Not always, but compulsions often follow to relieve anxiety caused by these thoughts. This cycle can reinforce obsessive thinking.
Can therapy reduce obsessive thoughts?
Yes, therapy like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) help children face and tolerate these thoughts without acting on them.
Over time, this reduces anxiety and weakens the hold obsessive thoughts have. Professional guidance ensures these techniques are done safely and effectively.
Citations
Fenske, J. N., & Schwenk, T. L. (2009). Obsessive compulsive disorder: diagnosis and management. American family physician, 80(3), 239–245.
Jalal, B., Chamberlain, S. R., Robbins, T. W., & Sahakian, B. J. (2022). Obsessive-compulsive disorder-contamination fears, features, and treatment: novel smartphone therapies in light of global mental health and pandemics (COVID-19). CNS spectrums, 27(2), 136–144. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1092852920001947
Zafarmand, M., Farahmand, Z., & Otared, N. (2022). A Systematic Literature Review and Meta-analysis on Effectiveness of Neurofeedback for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Neurocase, 28(1), 29–36. https://doi.org/10.1080/13554794.2021.2019790
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in OCD and Anxiety who frequently is in the media:
- What if it’s Not Depression (Video) Anxiety, OCD and Trichotillomania
- Epidemic Answers: Neurofeedback for ADHD, anxiety, OCD and mood
- Cai Grahm: Is it anxiety or OCD?
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
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