As parents, we want to ensure that our children are getting the right support, especially when they face complex challenges like PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) and PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal Infections) or mood and behavioral issues. These conditions can be overwhelming, not just for the child but for the whole family. The impact of a strep infection on a child’s brain can lead to sudden and severe changes in behavior, making it even more important for parents to be proactive in understanding their child’s needs. That’s why it's essential for parents to be on the same page and work together when it comes to being actively involved in their child's care.
In addition, maintaining your own mental health is crucial in ensuring you can support your child effectively during this challenging time. When parents collaborate and share a clear understanding of how these conditions affect their child's behavior, it creates a more stable and supportive environment, which is vital for the child’s well-being and long-term progress.
It definitely makes a great difference when parents work together—when they get informed, show up, and support each other. How to work together as parents to support a child with PANS/PANDAS or mood or complex behavioral issues is crucial for creating a unified approach. Family members can also play a key role in providing support and understanding. So let’s talk about those steps to get there, because your child deserves a team that’s in sync.
Educating and Informing the Other Parent
Undeniably, parenting a child with PANS/PANDAS or mood or complex behavioral issues can be challenging. What makes it even harder is when parents aren't on the same page. I often encounter issues wherein parents are in conflict over their child’s diagnosis and treatment. This disconnect can lead to inconsistent support, confusion in decision-making, and added stress for both the child and the family.
As parents, it's vital to understand your child's condition together, as a shared understanding fosters better decision-making and a more cohesive approach to treatment. In most families, there’s a quarterback parent who’s researching, reading, and diving deep into the clinical side of things. And nine times out of ten, it’s mom but sometimes, though rarely, it’s dad. And while dividing and conquering can be helpful, when one parent is way ahead in understanding the diagnosis and treatment while the other is just nodding along, it creates a disconnect. That’s when conversations feel frustrating, and decisions become battlegrounds. One of the most effective ways to close that gap is to get to a key doctor’s appointment together, whether it’s an initial intake, a major review, or a session where you’re going over labs and treatment plans.
When both parents hear the same information firsthand, it eliminates misunderstandings and ensures that decisions are based on shared knowledge rather than secondhand explanations. I’ve seen time and time again how a parent who was previously uninvolved or skeptical has a complete shift in perspective after attending one of these sessions.
Equally important is making sure your partner has access to accurate, digestible information that helps them understand the condition without feeling overwhelmed. You could provide them with trusted resources. Maybe it’s a podcast episode that breaks things down in a way that makes sense, a blog post that really resonated with you, or even a book that explains the basics in a way that aligns with your child’s needs.
The goal isn’t to pressure them into becoming an expert overnight, but to help them build a solid foundation so that, together, you can make informed decisions, advocate more effectively, and provide the consistent support your child needs.
Modeling Teamwork and Consistency
Parents are often shocked by how much they didn’t know—but once you do know, you can do better. One of the most important things you can do is present a unified front for your child. I want to emphasize that consistency matters. Even when you and your partner don’t see eye to eye, modeling teamwork helps create a sense of stability. Of course, disagreements are normal, but frequent, heated arguments in front of your child only add to their dysregulation.
Using shared language when talking about their condition and treatment can also make a huge difference. When both parents communicate in a way that reinforces the same key ideas, it reduces confusion and helps your child process information more effectively. A child who feels safe and supported is more likely to regulate their emotions and behaviors, making it that much easier to navigate this journey together.
Dividing Responsibilities and Communication
Parenting a child with PANS/PANDAS or complex behavioral challenges is greatly demanding, and trying to handle everything alone quickly leads to exhaustion and resentment. Dividing responsibilities is essential, not just in daily tasks but also in learning and decision-making. When both parents take an active role in understanding treatments, attending appointments, and supporting their child, it strengthens their ability to work as a team and prevents one parent from feeling overwhelmed.
Good communication is just as important. When stress builds, communication can easily break down, leading to frustration and misunderstandings. Regular check-ins, even for just a few minutes, help parents stay on the same page about behaviors, treatments, and next steps. Active listening and empathy are key, especially when one parent feels less informed or uncertain. Also, using clear and consistent language when discussing the condition helps reduce confusion and supports better decision-making.
Not sure where to start? We'll help you find the right solution tailored to your needs. Visit https://drroseann.com/help/ today and take our FREE Brain and Behavior Solutions Matcher. Discover science-backed mental health solutions and gain valuable insights from Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge by exploring the resources available at www.drroseann.com. Get the right support with our Natural PANS/PANDAS Kit—designed to fast-track your child's healing naturally and without medication: https://drroseann.com/panskit
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