Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
When your child suddenly shifts into rage, anxiety, or meltdowns, it can feel terrifying—and you may wonder, “Is this PANS? Is it behavior? Or is something else going on?” You’re not alone. PANS and PANDAS are complex, and understanding your child’s behaviors begins with learning how to differentiate typical dysregulation from a true flare.
In this episode, I break down what parents need to look for, how flares start, and what actually helps calm a struggling child.
Why does my child’s behavior suddenly explode—could it be a PANS flare?
One of the hardest parts of PANS/PANDAS is the unpredictability. Kids can shift from fine to furious, calm to chaotic, seemingly overnight.
A flare is a temporary worsening of medical or behavioral symptoms triggered by infection, inflammation, toxins, or stress. It isn’t “bad behavior”—it’s a dysregulated, inflamed brain.
Signs a flare may be happening:
- Sudden rage or aggression
- OCD spikes
- School refusal
- Regression in skills or emotional maturity
- Heightened anxiety or sensory overwhelm
Real-Life Scenario
A mom described how her daughter went from giggling at breakfast to screaming on the floor 10 minutes later. That kind of fast, dramatic shift is a classic flare red flag.
Takeaway: Behavior is communication from the nervous system. If the change is sudden and severe, treat it like a flare and investigate.
What triggers a PANS or PANDAS flare—and how can I spot the clues?
Parents often become “detectives,” piecing together what changed in their child’s world.
Common flare triggers include:
- Recent illness or exposure
- Stress at school (bullying, tests, schedule changes)
- Lack of sleep
- Diet changes or inflammation
- Environmental toxins
Patterns to watch for:
- Did symptoms appear right after a cold or strep exposure?
- Has your child been staying up later or eating more inflammatory foods?
- Has school been stressful or unpredictable?
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit: How to Stay Calm When Your Child Pushes Your Buttons and Stop Oppositional Behaviors. Head to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and start your calm parenting journey today.
How do I stay calm when my child is melting down?
During a flare, kids are often in a sympathetic dominant state—fight, flight, or freeze. Their brain literally cannot think clearly.
I always remind parents: “Let’s calm the brain first.”
What helps in the moment:
- Give physical space or grounding touch
- Lower your voice
- Avoid reasoning, lecturing, or fact-fighting
- Offer co-regulation through presence and softness
Instead of yelling over your child’s screams, sit nearby and say softly, “I’m here. You’re safe.” This alone can prevent escalation.
What actually helps manage a PANS flare? (What to do first)
When you suspect a flare, return to what has historically worked. Don’t chase new solutions—lean into proven supports.
The five-pronged flare care approach includes:
- Antimicrobials or antivirals
- Immune support
- Neurofeedback
- PEMF therapy
- High-quality magnesium (like Multi-Mag Brain Formula)
Plus:
- Consistent sleep
- Anti-inflammatory nutrition
- Calm daily routines
- Detoxification support
- Stress reduction practices
These lifestyle anchors stabilize the nervous system and shorten flare duration.
How do I handle “behavior” that isn’t part of a flare?
Not every tough moment is a flare. Some behaviors are rooted in skills deficits—like frustration tolerance or cognitive rigidity.
To improve behavior:
- Identify the nexus behavior (the thing driving the chaos)
- Teach coping skills outside of meltdown moments
- Reinforce tiny wins consistently
- Shape behavior through predictable routines
Consistency rewires the brain—flare or not.
🗣️ “No matter what the behavior looks like, it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain.” — Dr. Roseann
Takeaway
You don’t have to guess your way through PANS and PANDAS. When you know how to spot flares, identify triggers, and calm the brain first, everything becomes more manageable.
Your child isn’t choosing this—their brain is overwhelmed. And it’s going to be OK.
FAQs
How do I tell if it’s a PANS flare or typical behavior?
Look for sudden, intense shifts—especially after illness or stress. Rapid onset usually points to a flare.
What’s the first thing to do during a flare?
Calm the brain: reduce demands, increase support, and revisit what has worked during past flares.
Should I try to reason with my child during a meltdown?
No. Their thinking brain is offline. Focus on safety and regulation first.
Can lifestyle changes really help PANS?
Yes. Sleep, nutrition, and nervous system supports make flares shorter and less intense.
Do flares always require medication?
Not always—many parents use a mix of medical treatment and natural regulation strategies.
When your child is struggling, time matters.
Don’t wait and wonder—use the Solution Matcher to get clear next steps, based on what’s actually going on with your child’s brain and behavior. Take the quiz at www.drroseann.com/help
