9 Emotional Regulation Tips for Parents: Help Your Child Build Resilience

Helping kids manage their emotions can feel like a constant battle, especially when your child’s outbursts, worries, or struggles seem to come out of nowhere. You might feel frustrated or unsure how to help them get back on track—but you’re not alone in this.

The good news? Emotional regulation is one of the most powerful skills you can teach your child. It not only helps them feel calmer and more in control right now, but it also supports their long-term emotional development—leading to better mental health, stronger relationships, and success in school.

But where do you start when emotions run high? With the right emotional regulation tips, you can give your child the tools they need to handle everyday stress and bigger challenges down the road. And while the path might feel tough some days, remember: you can absolutely help your child build emotional resilience, and I’m here to guide you through it.

Ways Emotional Regulation Supports Mental Health in Children and Teens

Emotional regulation plays a critical role in maintaining mental health. Children who learn to regulate their emotions early on can better manage feelings of stress, anxiety, and frustration. This ability to pause, reflect, and control their emotions helps prevent emotional outbursts and reduces the risk of developing anxiety disorders or depression.

When kids face challenges—whether it’s a difficult exam at school or an argument with a friend—their ability to regulate emotions helps them feel more balanced. Rather than being consumed by feelings of fear or frustration, emotionally regulated children can take a step back and choose how they want to respond. This skill helps them in the moment and builds a strong foundation for mental well-being as they grow.

Emotional regulation is something that is learned over time and every child can gain the skill with parent and adult support (even if you think your kiddo is a hot mess!). There are many benefits of emotional regulation including being able to better manage stress and anxiety, emotional resilience, increased attention, focus and problem solving and they can handle academic pressure better than their dysregulated peers. 

Can Manage Stress and Anxiety  

Children experience stress and anxiety just like adults, but their ability to cope with these emotions depends on their self-regulation skills. Kids who struggle with controlling their emotions may become easily overwhelmed by stressful situations, leading to meltdowns or withdrawal. However, teaching children how to manage stress—through techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness—can help them regain control and reduce anxiety.

Achieve Emotional Balance and Resilience  

Emotional regulation tips go beyond managing immediate stress. They help children build emotional resilience, meaning they can recover from setbacks more easily. Whether it’s a poor grade on a test or a disagreement with a friend, resilient kids can bounce back without letting negative emotions derail them. This emotional balance helps children navigate life’s challenges more confidently and calmly.

Better Focus and Problem-Solving  

Children with good emotional regulation skills can focus better on difficult tasks. Instead of getting frustrated, they can take a deep breath, think through the problem, and devise a solution. This proactive approach reduces stress and increases their chances of academic success.

Can Handle Academic Pressure  

Stressful academic situations, such as tests or group projects, can trigger strong emotions in children. Emotional regulation helps them manage frustration or anxiety, preventing emotional overload. Kids who can regulate their emotions are less likely to shut down when faced with pressure, allowing them to perform better and stay focused on their goals.

9 Essential Emotional Regulation Tips for Raising Resilient Kids

Imagine your child struggling to keep it together when something small goes wrong, like a missing toy or a change in plans. These moments can feel overwhelming for kids, especially when they haven’t yet learned how to manage big emotions. Teaching emotional regulation is one of the most impactful ways to support your child’s mental well-being and resilience. Children who learn to understand and handle their emotions are better equipped to face life’s challenges, whether it’s managing anxiety before a test or working through conflicts with friends.

Parenting isn’t about creating a stress-free world for our kids—it’s about giving them tools to cope, grow, and thrive. These nine emotional regulation tips will help you build a foundation of resilience and self-awareness, so your child can feel more grounded and confident as they navigate life’s ups and downs.

1. Use Positive Reinforcement

One of the most effective tools in teaching emotional regulation is positive reinforcement. When your child successfully manages their emotions, acknowledge and praise their efforts. A simple “I’m proud of how you stayed calm” goes a long way in reinforcing positive behavior. Over time, your child will feel more confident in their ability to regulate emotions and will be motivated to continue practicing these skills.

Positive reinforcement doesn’t always have to be verbal. You can reward their emotional achievements with stickers, extra playtime, or small treats. The key is celebrating the behavior you want to see more often—whether staying composed during stressful moments or using a calming strategy like deep breathing.

2. Help Kids Name and Express Their Emotions

Teaching children to identify and name their emotions is a fundamental part of emotional regulation. When your child can recognize feelings like frustration, anger, or sadness, they are better equipped to manage them. Emotional awareness is the first step toward control.

Encourage your child to express their emotions by asking open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling right now?” or “What’s making you upset?” This helps them process and understand their emotions rather than bottling them up. When children can name their emotions, it gives them a sense of control over what they’re experiencing.

3. Establish Routines and Structure

Children thrive on structure and predictability. A consistent routine helps them feel more secure, reducing anxiety and emotional outbursts. Knowing what to expect throughout the day allows children to focus on emotional regulation rather than feeling overwhelmed by transitions or surprises.

Create routines for daily activities like meals, homework, and bedtime. Establishing calming rituals, such as reading a book before bed or a set time for relaxation, helps your child feel grounded and in control. This structure creates emotional stability, allowing them to manage their feelings better.

4. Encourage Problem-Solving and Decision-Making

Teaching your child problem-solving skills is crucial for emotional regulation. When faced with a challenge, guide them through finding a solution rather than letting them react impulsively. For example, if they’re frustrated with a difficult task, help them break it down into smaller, manageable steps.

5. Teach Calming Techniques

Introduce your child to simple calming techniques that they can use when emotions run high. Deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or progressive muscle relaxation can help them regain control during stressful moments. Guide them through these techniques when they’re calm so they can easily access them when needed.

6. Model Healthy Emotional Responses

Children often mirror their parents’ emotional behavior, so it’s essential to model healthy emotional regulation. When you’re feeling stressed or frustrated, demonstrate how to stay calm and composed. For instance, instead of raising your voice, you could say, “I’m feeling upset, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”

7. Create a Safe Space for Emotions

Give your child a safe space to express their feelings without judgment. Whether it’s a cozy corner in the house or a special time set aside for talking, having a designated emotional “safe space” helps children feel supported when they need to work through their feelings.

Encourage open conversations about emotions, reassuring your child that all feelings are valid. This openness fosters trust and helps them feel secure in expressing their emotions, making emotional regulation easier.

8. Encourage Physical Activity

Physical activity is a great way to help your child release built-up emotions. Movement not only reduces stress but also improves mood and promotes emotional balance. Encourage your child to engage in activities like running, playing sports, or dancing when frustrated or anxious.

9. Set Clear Expectations for Behavior

Setting clear expectations helps children understand what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t, providing a framework for emotional regulation. Let your child know it’s okay to feel upset, but there are healthy ways to express those feelings. For example, encourage them to use words or calming strategies instead of hitting or shouting.

Handling Setbacks and Fostering Resilience

Every child will experience setbacks in their emotional growth journey in one form or another. But it’s essential to help them understand that mistakes are a normal part of learning. If your child has an emotional outburst or struggles to regulate their emotions, remain patient and use it as a teaching moment. Instead of focusing on the negative, guide your child toward understanding what happened and how they can handle the situation differently next time.

Encouraging resilience means helping your child see setbacks as opportunities for growth. This emotional regulation tip reinforces the idea that emotional regulation is a skill that takes time to develop. Praise your child's efforts to improve, even when they don’t get it right the first time. This builds emotional resilience and helps your child feel more confident handling future challenges.

Supporting your child’s emotional regulation journey isn’t just about managing emotions in the moment—it’s about building a strong foundation for resilience, self-awareness, and lasting mental health. Understanding what triggers your child’s responses, along with modeling calm and balanced reactions, can transform your family environment.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to explore Dysregulation Solution—a program I created specifically for parents looking to teach their children self-regulation skills. With over 30 years of experience and proven, science-backed methods, I designed this program to equip you and your child with effective strategies for managing emotions and achieving long-term success. You’ll even have the chance to join me live for personalized guidance.