Building Emotional Resilience in Kids: Mastering the Regulation of Emotion

Building Emotional Resilience in Kids
Picture of Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

The regulation of emotion, known as emotion regulation, entails the capacity to modulate our emotional responses. Mastery in this area is vital for maintaining mental health, nurturing relationships, and enhancing one’s quality of life.

Many of the children and teens I work with struggle with emotion regulation abilities and that can have a negative affect on child development and the entire family.

For parents, mastering techniques that build emotion regulation strategies and learn a healthy emotional response can not only help them in the immediate but in the future as well.

Parents need to work on their own nervous systems as well, as these skills help parents manage daily stressors, set a positive example for their children, and create a more peaceful and supportive home environment. By mastering these techniques, parents can better cope with stressors, elevate their social engagements, and foster a more satisfying existence for the entire family.

Understanding Emotion Regulation

Emotion regulation refers to the ways we manage our emotional experiences and expressions, helping us adjust both positive and negative emotions to meet specific goals. It's a crucial skill that affects how we behave, interact with others, and maintain psychological health. Imagine being able to stay calm during a heated argument or find joy in tough times—these are the benefits of good emotion regulation.

At its core, emotion regulation is about balancing our emotional reactions despite external pressures. Achieving this balance can improve problem-solving skills, strengthen relationships, and boost overall happiness. However, mastering this consistency across different situations can be challenging. Overcoming these hurdles requires awareness, clear intentions, and targeted strategies for managing feelings.

There are various methods for emotion regulation, including self-regulation (internal techniques) and social influences (external inputs). Effective self-management of emotions is a skill that can be developed over time and is essential for both adults and children. Fostering these skills is vital for overall physical and mental health.

Understanding emotional self-regulation is key to guiding us through emotional impulses towards greater harmony and mental wellness. By becoming adept at regulating our emotions, we can improve our psychological well-being.

Key Emotion Regulation Strategies

Key Emotion Regulation Strategies

Strategies for emotion regulation are methods we use to control and adapt our emotional reactions, crucial for mental health and everyday life, especially for parents managing daily stress. Cognitive reappraisal and mindfulness techniques are particularly effective, helping parents alter their perspectives on emotional experiences and develop more adaptive responses to triggers.

Not all strategies work the same for everyone. Techniques like cognitive reappraisal, accepting emotions, and using distraction have been shown to help with emotional management. Choosing the right tools can improve emotional health, strengthen relationships, and build resilience.

Two effective approaches are cognitive reappraisal, which involves reframing negative thoughts into positive ones, and attentional deployment, where focus is shifted away from upsetting triggers to something neutral or pleasant. These methods can help parents navigate intense feelings more effectively.

Cognitive Reappraisal

Reinterpreting an emotional scenario through cognitive reappraisal can significantly alter the ensuing intensity of emotions before they become strong. This method adjusts our emotional reactions by changing how we perceive a situation, leading to more beneficial and healthier emotional responses. By altering our viewpoint on events, we can markedly diminish negative emotions and foster a sense of positivity.

How Cognitive Reappraisal Helps Parents:

  • Adjusts Emotional Reactions: Changes how we perceive stressful situations, leading to healthier responses.
  • Diminishes Negative Emotions: Helps in reducing feelings of frustration or anger.
  • Fosters Positivity: Encourages a more positive outlook on challenging parenting moments.

Practical Example for Parents:

Imagine your child is having a meltdown because they can’t have a toy. Instead of seeing this as a failure in your parenting, reframe it as an opportunity to teach patience and emotional regulation. This shift in perspective can reduce your stress and help you respond more calmly.

Benefits of Cognitive Reappraisal:

  • Improved Well-being: Reduces stress and enhances overall happiness.
  • Better Problem-Solving: Enables clearer thinking during challenging situations.
  • Enhanced Relationships: Promotes a more positive and supportive family environment.

The ability of cognitive reappraisal to modify the affective influence of circumstances is one of its most advantageous aspects. For instance, reimagining a difficult task not as daunting but rather as an opportunity for personal development changes our perspective in ways that produce more favorable emotional outcomes and enhances well-being. Utilizing imagery within cognitive appraisal rapidly activates different neural pathways, thus swiftly influencing emotionality, which amplifies this tactic’s potency.

Tips for Parents:

  • Use Imagery: Visualize positive outcomes in challenging situations.
  • Practice Regularly: Make cognitive reappraisal a daily habit.
  • Teach by Example: Show your children how to reframe their thoughts.

Amidst taxing scenarios, employing cognitive reappraisal enables parents to broaden their understanding, thereby fostering constructive interpretations when confronted with challenges or stressors. Reframing such instances decreases apprehension, enabling us to navigate these experiences with greater serenity and improved strategic thinking capabilities—reinforcing both psychological resilience and efficacy in problem-solving tasks.

For example, when your child is throwing a tantrum in a public place, rather than seeing it as a failure, you can view it as a chance to teach them about managing emotions. This shift in perspective can reduce your stress and help you handle the situation more calmly and effectively.

Attentional Control

Controlling attention is a valuable strategy for emotion regulation, which entails shifting one’s focus away from troubling stimuli toward those that are more neutral or uplifting. Such a method can help mitigate the impact of negative emotions and promote emotional well-being. Acquiring proficiency in controlling attention can lead to improved management of emotions and increased resilience when faced with stress, including techniques that focus on response-based emotion regulation.

Effective Methods for Controlling Attention:

1. Distraction

Distraction involves diverting focus from negative feelings towards activities that captivate or give pleasure. For example:

  • Playtime: Engage in a fun activity with your child, like a board game or outdoor play.
  • Hobbies: Dive into a personal hobby such as reading, painting, or gardening.

2. Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves remaining grounded in the present moment while nonjudgmentally acknowledging emotions as they arise. Some practices include:

  • Breathing Exercises: Practice deep breathing techniques to stay present.
  • Meditation: Spend a few minutes meditating to center your thoughts.

Employing either technique aids in managing our ability to regulate emotions effectively and bolster overall mental health. Through cultivating skills associated with attentional control, we gain better command over how we respond emotionally to situations, allowing us to confront life’s obstacles with enhanced adeptness.

Practical Tips for Parents:

  • Create a Routine: Establish a daily schedule that includes mindfulness or distraction activities.
  • Model Behavior: Demonstrate these techniques in your own life so your children can learn by example.
  • Positive Reinforcement: Praise your children when they successfully use these strategies to manage their emotions.

By integrating these methods into daily life, parents can not only improve their own emotional regulation but also set a strong example for their children to follow.

Bubble Breathing

Breathwork

Engaging in breathwork is an effective emotion regulation strategy that can enhance the regulation of the nervous system and bolster emotional health. Optimal performance of our nervous system occurs when it’s in a parasympathetic state, attainable through consistent practice of breathwork exercises. By centering attention on breathing, we promote tranquility within ourselves, thereby mitigating stress levels and fostering a relaxed state.

Numerous deep-breathing methods exist—like bubble breathing or techniques like 4-7-8 breathing and box breath—that are accessible to virtually anyone and effortless to weave into one’s daily life. Take for instance the 4-7-8 technique, which consists of inhaling for four seconds, pausing with held breath for seven seconds, followed by an eight-second exhalation. This method effectively induces immediate serenity and assists in maintaining emotional control.

For parents, integrating routine practices involving focused breathing not only plays a role in stress alleviation but also positively influences overall mental well-being. Imagine the chaos of getting the kids ready for school; a few minutes of 4-7-8 breathing can make a world of difference. Adopting such tactics routinely bolsters one’s ability to manage their emotions more efficiently and enhances mental health stability—demonstrating how straightforward exercises can lead to significant improvements in our emotional landscape.

The Role of Emotional Self-Regulation

The capacity for emotional self-regulation is pivotal in governing our feelings and impulses, which serves as a foundation for mental and physical health. By harnessing this skill, we can handle emotional triggers appropriately, reflecting our deepest values and principles instead of yielding to hasty reactions. Cultivating emotional control not only aids in managing life’s adversities, but also fosters resilience.

Incorporating habitual self-care routines such as engaging in physical activity or ensuring sufficient sleep enhances one’s ability to regulate emotions effectively. These habits support an equilibrium within our emotional states while fostering overall well-being. Equally transformative are the practices of mindfulness and extending compassion toward oneself. These approaches drastically alter how we process and respond to feelings, thus improving emotional management.

To achieve proficient emotional self-regulation, it is essential to identify personal triggers that may influence our mood state adversely. By introducing a momentary pause before action follows emotion, we allow ourselves the space needed to critically assess our instinctual responses thereby selecting more constructive coping strategies over time through ongoing observation and heightened awareness – skills honed by reflective exercises like journaling or engaging consistently in physical activities.

For parents, this means being patient when your child is having a meltdown and seeing it as an opportunity to teach emotional regulation rather than a failure. Taking a deep breath and reframing the situation can make a significant difference. The route towards embedding self-regulation seamlessly into daily conduct requires persistent application so that steering through the ocean of emotions becomes second nature accompanied by profound confidence and gracefulness.

Mechanisms Behind Emotion Regulation

Grasping the intricacies of emotion regulation entails understanding the brain's role in our emotional responses. The prefrontal cortex helps manage impulses and make well-reasoned choices, which are crucial for self-regulation. Meanwhile, the limbic system, including the amygdala, generates and regulates emotions. This cooperation between brain regions maintains emotional balance.

For parents, this means recognizing that kids' brains are still developing, which explains their big emotional reactions. Understanding this can help parents respond calmly and supportively, fostering better emotional growth.

Regulatory flexibility, the ability to switch emotion regulation strategies based on the situation, is key for managing emotions effectively. It relies on cognitive skills, which develop at different rates in the brain. For instance, the prefrontal cortex matures slower than the amygdala, affecting how we handle emotions over time.

Knowing these mechanisms helps parents navigate their children's emotional outbursts with patience and effective responses, supporting healthier emotional regulation for the whole family.

The Impact of Poor Emotion Regulation

Inadequate emotion regulation can lead to significant adverse effects on both mental and physical well-being. When individuals misinterpret circumstances, they often experience intense emotions and resort to maladaptive coping mechanisms, a phenomenon known as emotion dysregulation. This behavior can elevate the risk of psychological issues like anxiety and depression.

During adolescence, those who struggle with regulating their emotions often endure ongoing negative feelings that may intensify symptoms of anxiety and depression. The presence of persistent worrying thoughts combined with an inability to unwind is indicative of the complex relationship between such disorders and challenges in managing one’s emotional state effectively. A deficit in recognizing one’s own emotional states tends to exacerbate difficulties associated with tempering these negative experiences, thereby deepening depressive states.

Consistently failing at emotional self-regulation can give rise to behaviors that are harmful or destructive.

There exists a clear correlation between poor skillfulness in modulating emotions during adolescent years and an increased vulnerability toward exhibiting signs of anxiety as well as depressive conditions.

A shortfall in the ability for self-regulation concerning emotions has been shown not only to perpetuate detrimental cycles linked directly back to those very same sentiments, but also adversely affect social exchanges—ultimately deteriorating mental health status even further.

Consequences resulting from inadequate capacity for effective management of one’s emotional responses might manifest through various outcomes including:

  • A sense of helplessness
  • Pervasive pessimistic thought patterns
  • Obsessive rumination over past events
  • Building resentment towards others or oneself
  • Experiences colored by frustration
  • Heightened levels of apprehension (anxiety)
  • Emergence or worsening episodes correlated with mood swings typical among depressives
  • Manifestation related somatic complaints

For preserving our overall welfare along dimensions both psychological & physiological alike, rectifying instances where there are recognizable deficits present within personal repertoire handling charged affections proves essential. Since honing proficiency regarding tactics aimed specifically remediate expressional dysfunctionality equates improved resilience against life stressors faced routinely.

Developing Emotion Regulation Skills: Effective Interventions for Improving Emotion Regulation

Acquiring skills in emotion regulation is vital for effective emotional control. Becoming self-aware helps us identify our emotional triggers and understand our responses. This is especially beneficial for children with developmental challenges, as structured approaches can support their self-regulation.

Techniques like controlled breathing and mindfulness are key to improving emotional regulation. These practices help us stay grounded and observe our feelings without judgment, enhancing well-being and emotional mastery.

Parents can explore techniques that boost self-awareness and mindfulness exercises. These methods offer valuable support for managing personal emotions and responses, creating a more peaceful home environment.

Self-Awareness Techniques

Recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions, as well as their impact on oneself, is what emotional regulation refers to. A crucial approach for fostering self-awareness involves identifying and articulating our feelings. The act of labeling our emotions diminishes their intensity and eases the discomfort they may cause. One practical tool to aid individuals in pinpointing and naming their emotions is the ‘Feelings Wheel.’

Parents can enhance self-awareness by keeping a daily log of thoughts and feelings. This routine helps in spotting patterns in emotional responses, making it easier to develop better coping strategies. Being mindful of physical signs can also help—like noticing that a tight stomach might signal anxiety or that chest tightness could mean sadness.

Cataloging thoughts and their triggers, along with the associated emotions, can shed light on the root causes of these feelings, refining emotional regulation skills. Consistent use of these techniques improves both self-awareness and emotional control, which is especially beneficial for parents juggling multiple responsibilities.

Mindfulness Practices

Engaging in mindfulness practices is key for recognizing and embracing emotions, reducing negative feelings, and promoting positivity. Mindfulness helps individuals observe and articulate thoughts and feelings impartially, improving emotional regulation. By practicing mindfulness, one can detach from intense emotional reactions and assess them more neutrally. Staying aware of the present moment diminishes negative emotions and enhances responses.

For parents, mindfulness is invaluable for both their own and their children's emotional development. It helps kids handle emotions and reactions more effectively. When children learn mindfulness, they become better at managing emotional triggers and controlling impulses—skills that serve them well throughout their lives.

Emotion Regulation in Children

Nurturing emotional self-regulation in children requires continuous practice and is considerably shaped by the guidance they receive from caregivers and peers. Through interactions with these individuals, who exemplify proper emotional responses, children cultivate their own strategies for regulating emotions. By mimicking the behaviors of parents, a child’s emotion regulation capabilities are honed.

Creating a calm environment helps children evaluate their emotional reactions. Parents can support this by demonstrating positivity and engaging in stress management practices. Simplifying tasks into smaller steps and offering affirmations when progress is made are effective strategies.

It’s essential for parents not to overly intervene. Allowing children to face obstacles independently nurtures self-regulation skills. Expanding a child’s vocabulary related to feelings enhances emotion regulation by fostering better communication and awareness. Encouraging them to label their emotions equips them with better control over their reactions.

If children struggle with self-regulation without adequate guidance, they may face socio-emotional difficulties later. Teaching techniques like pausing before responding is key for enhancing emotional control. Empowering kids with independence helps them navigate emotional experiences confidently.

Teaching Children how to Regulate Emotions

Navigating our emotions requires effective emotion regulation. By understanding emotional control and using strategies like cognitive reappraisal, focusing attention, and breathwork, we can greatly enhance our mental health and reduce emotional dysregulation. Emotional self-regulation ensures our reactions align with our core values and supports good mental health.

The prefrontal cortex and limbic system play key roles in managing emotional responses and preventing a cycle of emotional dysregulation. Addressing poor emotion regulation can reduce negative impacts and improve mental well-being. Building self-regulation skills through self-awareness and mindfulness boosts emotional management and resilience.

The nervous system needs constant care but the good news is that parents have the power to help their children have health emotional expression and reduce emotional reactivity.

What is emotion regulation, and why is it important?

Emotion regulation involves managing your emotional responses, and it’s key for maintaining mental health, handling behavior, and enhancing relationships.

Effectively regulating your emotions can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

What are some effective emotion regulation strategies?

One effective way to regulate your emotions is through cognitive reappraisal, where you reshape your emotional experience, alongside mindfulness practices that help you stay present.

Incorporating these strategies can lead to healthier responses to your feelings.

What does the research say about cognitive appraisal?

Endorsed by empirical research within psychological science, regular utilization of cognitive research fortifies skills critical for regulating emotions effectively — continuously refining the way we engage with complex feelings which consequentially bolster mental health statuses along with enriching overall quality-of-life standards related to emotional welfare. Ultimately affirming human capacity via cognition in crafting life’s emotive contours.

How can I improve my emotional self-regulation?

To improve your emotional self-regulation, focus on building self-awareness and incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine.

Don’t forget about self-care; getting enough sleep and exercising regularly will also make a big difference!

What are the consequences of poor emotion regulation?

Poor emotion regulation can really take a toll on your mental health, causing anxiety, depression, and even negative social interactions.

It’s crucial to recognize these issues early to improve your overall well-being.

How can emotion regulation be taught to children?

You can teach children emotion regulation by guiding them, modeling appropriate responses, and fostering a calm environment.

It really helps to break tasks down into smaller steps and encourage them to express their feelings with the right words.

What is DBT and how can it help with regulation?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) proves to be an influential approach for boosting emotional regulation and distress tolerance among those struggling with substance use disorders. By incorporating techniques like acceptance and comprehension of emotions drawn from DBT, individuals can markedly advance their capacity for emotion regulation.

Likewise, DBT is instrumental in aiding older children to refine their skills in regulating emotions. When compared to cognitive therapy or the administration of naltrexone, training focused on emotional regulation stands out as more effective in averting relapse for those recovering from addiction. Merging this form of training with cognitive therapeutic methods achieves enhanced results in managing emotions than conventional pharmacological remedies alone.

What are directions for future research?

Future research on emotion regulation should dive deeper into its various aspects. Exploring all steps in the emotion regulation process is crucial to understand their impact on our emotions. Finding new strategies can lead to advanced techniques for better emotional control and how to help kids have greater emotional wellbeing.

Understanding how we manage our feelings can greatly improve our emotional well-being. This field holds promise for creating more effective methods to control emotions. Combining neurobiological factors with psychological theories could offer a balanced approach to maintaining healthy emotions.

Future emotion regulation research should also look at how emotion regulation changes with age and how it can be tailored for different life stages. Filling these research gaps will enhance our knowledge of emotion management, benefiting mental health from youth to adulthood.

Citations

Dvorsky, M. R., & Langberg, J. M. (2016). A Review of Factors that Promote Resilience in Youth with ADHD and ADHD Symptoms. Clinical child and family psychology review, 19(4), 368–391. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-016-0216-z 

Masten, A. S., & Barnes, A. J. (2018). Resilience in Children: Developmental Perspectives. Children (Basel, Switzerland), 5(7), 98. https://doi.org/10.3390/children5070098

Masten, A. S., Lucke, C. M., Nelson, K. M., & Stallworthy, I. C. (2021). Resilience in Development and Psychopathology: Multisystem Perspectives. Annual review of clinical psychology, 17, 521–549. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-081219-120307

Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Self-Regulation who frequently is in the media:

  • Healthline Understanding Self-Regulation Skills
  • Scary Mommy What Is Self-Regulation In Children, And How Can You Help Improve It?
  • The Warrior Parent Podcast It's Gonna Be OK! Changing Behaviors and Responses (And The Magic of Magnesium)In Your Family with Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

 

Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.

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Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Licensed Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of media outlets including The Mel Robbins Show, CBS, NBC, PIX11 NYC, Today, FORBES, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider, Women’s Day, Healthline, CNET, Parade Magazine and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.

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She coined the terms, “Re-entry panic syndrome” and “eco-anxiety” and is a frequent contributor to media on mental health. 

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge has three decades of experience in working with children, teens and their families with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, concussion, dyslexia and learning disability, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), depression and mood disorder, Lyme Disease, and PANS/PANDAS using science-backed natural mental health solutions such as supplements, magnesium, nutrition, QEEG Brain maps, neurofeedback, PEMF, psychotherapy and other non-medication approaches. 

She is the author of three bestselling books, It’s Gonna Be OK!: Proven Ways to Improve Your Child's Mental Health, The Teletherapy Toolkit, and Brain Under Attack. Dr. Roseann is known for offering a message of hope through science-endorsed methods that promote a calm brain. 

Her trademarked BrainBehaviorResetⓇ Program and It’s Gonna be OK!Ⓡ Podcast has been a cornerstone for thousands of parents facing mental health, behavioral or neurodevelopmental challenges.

She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health, Neurotastic™Brain Formulas and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Mental Health Professional (CIMHP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach.  She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF).

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