If your child seems to be on a different wavelength—emotionally, socially, or academically—you’re not alone.
I talk to parents every day who feel confused, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn. You may have tried structure, charts, even therapy—but something still feels off. It’s easy to start questioning yourself—or worse, blaming your child.
But what if those meltdowns, shutdowns, or struggles with focus aren’t misbehavior or willful defiance? What if they’re a sign that your child’s brain simply works differently—and is asking for help in the only way it knows how?
What is Neurodiversity?
Neurodiversity refers to the natural and valuable variation in how human brains process, perceive, and respond to the world. It includes both neurotypical individuals, who follow expected developmental and behavioral patterns, and neurodivergent individuals, whose brain function diverges from those norms.
Neurodivergence isn’t a flaw or something to “fix.” It’s a difference in neurological wiring that brings both strengths and challenges. Kids with neurodivergent brains might struggle with tasks that come easily to others, like staying focused in class or managing big emotions—but they often possess unique gifts in creativity, problem-solving, and empathy.
In my three decades of working with children and teens, I’ve seen time and again that these differences, when understood and supported, can become superpowers. Embracing neurodiversity means we stop asking, “What’s wrong with this child?” and start asking, “How does this child’s brain work, and what do they need to thrive?”
| Neurotype | Common Strengths | Common Challenges |
|---|---|---|
| Neurotypical | Flexible thinking, emotional balance | Adjusting to novelty, slower empathy for ND peers |
| ADHD | High energy, creativity, adaptability | Focus, impulsivity, time management |
| Autism | Detail focus, honesty, pattern recognition | Social cues, sensory overload |
| Dyslexia | Big-picture thinking, storytelling | Big-picture thinking, storytelling Reading, spelling, phonological awarenessd |
| SPD (Sensory) | Rich sensory awareness | Sensory overwhelm or avoidance |
What is the Neurodivergent Umbrella?
Now that we understand neurodiversity as a broad concept, let’s break down what falls specifically under the neurodivergent umbrella—a term used to describe a group of brain-based differences that impact learning, behavior, communication, and regulation. Sometimes this is also referred to as the “neurodiversity umbrella,” a term that highlights the broad range of neurological conditions—including developmental, cognitive, and mental health differences—that impact how individuals experience and interact with the world. the broad spectrum of neurological conditions that affect how a person processes the world.
The term “neurodivergent umbrella” includes a wide range of neurological differences such as:—a term used to describe a group of brain-based differences that impact learning, behavior, communication, and regulation.
The term “neurodivergent umbrella” includes a wide range of neurological differences such as:
- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Learning Disabilities (Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia)
- Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- PANS/PANDAS
- Mood and anxiety disorders (often co-occurring)
These conditions impact how individuals think, learn, feel, behave, and interact with the world around them. Because their brains are wired differently, they may have heightened sensitivities, challenges withself-regulation, or difficulties in traditional learning environments. That often shows up as big emotions, avoidance, or even oppositional behavior—not because they want to act out, but because their nervous system is overwhelmed.
Using tools and brain-based strategies can support regulation and learning. These may include sensory accommodations, customized educational supports, or natural calming therapies to help the brain process more efficiently. When we meet these kids where their brain is, everything begins to shift—from behavior to connection to long-term emotional well-being.
What is a Learning Disability?
A learning disability is a neurologically-based difficulty with reading, writing, math, or other academic skills. Dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia fall under this category.
While these children are often bright, their brains process information differently. That’s why they may struggle in traditional classroom settings despite their intelligence.
Learning disabilities are different from intellectual disabilities, and most kids with LDs have average to above-average IQs.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the most common learning disabilities and what they look like in everyday life:
Common Learning Disabilities and Common Signs
| Learning Disability | Core Challenge | Common Signs in Kids |
|---|---|---|
| Dyslexia | Reading and phonics | Trouble decoding words, slow reading, poor spelling |
| Dysgraphia | Written expression and handwriting | Messy handwriting, difficulty organizing thoughts |
| Dyscalculia | Understanding numbers and math concepts | Trouble with arithmetic, sequencing, math symbols |
| Auditory Processing Disorder | Processing spoken information | Difficulty following verbal instructions |
| Visual Processing Disorder | Interpreting visual input | Skipping lines when reading, confusion with shapes |
| Nonverbal Learning Disability | Interpreting nonverbal cues | Struggles with social cues, spatial awareness |
While these children are often bright, their brains process information differently. That’s why they may struggle in traditional classroom settings despite their intelligence.
Learning disabilities are different from intellectual disabilities, and most kids with LDs have average to above-average IQs.
What’s the Difference Between Neurotypical and Neurodivergent Brains?
One of the biggest challenges parents face is understanding why their child’s brain works so differently—and what that really means. While it might seem like other kids are coasting along developmentally, your child may be hitting roadblocks when it comes to emotions, attention, or learning. That’s where the difference between neurotypical and neurodivergent brains becomes important to understand.
Neurotypical brains follow expected patterns for development, learning, and behavior. Neurodivergent brains don’t—they process and respond to information differently.
For example, Cole, a neurotypical boy I evaluated, had fairly even cognitive scores—nothing too high or too low. He responded well to structure, picked up on social cues, and thrived with traditional classroom strategies.
Isla, a teen with AuDHD (ADHD + Autism), was a different story. Her cognitive profile swung from low auditory processing scores to off-the-chart visual-spatial strengths. She struggled with spoken instructions and loud environments but excelled in pattern recognition and puzzles. That kind of uneven profile—what we call a ‘spiky profile’—is common in neurodivergent kids and is often the reason standard approaches just don’t work.
Understanding these differences helped Isla’sparents and school shift from frustration to support. Instead of expecting her to perform equally across the board, they began focusing on accommodations that made space for both her gifts and her challenges.. Her attention to auditory input was very low, but her visual-spatial reasoning was off the charts.
Neurodivergent kids may have spiky profiles—excelling in one area while really struggling in another.
What Are Common Signs My Child is Neurodivergent?
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this behavior normal—or is something else going on?” you’re not alone. Recognizing the signs of neurodivergence isn’t always straightforward, especially when your child seems capable in some areas but struggles mightily in others.
Neurodivergent children often show patterns of behavior, communication, or learning that stand out from their peers. These differences aren’t signs of poor parenting or a child who’s “just being difficult.” They’re often a reflection of a nervous system that’s over- or under-stimulated—and doing its best to cope.
No two neurodivergent kids are the same, but here are common signs:
- Big emotions that are hard to manage (meltdowns, shutdowns)
- Trouble focusing or staying still
- Difficulty reading social cues
- Sensory sensitivities (sounds, lights, textures)
- Repetitive behaviors or speech
- Struggles with reading, writing, or math
Julia kept hearing that her 10-year-old son was “too sensitive” and just needed to try harder. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t acting out—he was overwhelmed. Loud environments and sudden changes, like a surprise fire drill, would send him into a panic.
An evaluation eventually revealed sensory processing issues and anxiety. Once Julia and her team put the right supports in place, including classroom accommodations and calming routines, the meltdowns began to lessen. The biggest shift came when they stopped blaming the behavior—and started supporting the brain.
Is Emotional Dysregulation a Neurodivergent Trait?
Absolutely. Emotional dysregulation is one of the most common signs of a neurodivergent brain.
Your child isn’t being difficult on purpose. Their nervous system is in a constant state of over- or under-arousal, making it hard to regulate attention, behavior, and emotions.
Let’s calm the brain first—and then the learning and behavior can follow.
Is ADHD a Learning Disability or a Neurodivergent Condition?
Many parents are surprised to learn that ADHD isn’t technically classified as a learning disability—even though it can have a major impact on how kids learn. ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention regulation, impulse control, and executive functioning.
While ADHD on its own doesn’t fall under the category of a learning disability, it often shows up alongside learning challenges like dyslexia or dysgraphia. That’s because the brain systems involved in attention and executive functioning also play a big role in how kids absorb, retain, and apply information in academic settings.
So, while ADHD may not be considered a learning disability by definition, it absolutely affects a child’s learning experience—and when untreated or unsupported, it can lead to frustration, low self-esteem, and academic underachievement.
Kids with ADHD struggle with:
- Executive functioning (planning, organizing, starting tasks)
- Impulse control and focus
- Managing time and transitions
Because their brains are wired for novelty and stimulation, typical classroom environments can feel overwhelming.
Can a Child Have More Than One Neurodivergent Condition?
Yes—and it’s more common than many parents realize. Neurodivergent kids often have overlapping conditions, also called co-occurring or comorbid diagnoses. These layered challenges can affect behavior, learning, emotions, and physical health in complex ways.
In clinical practice, I rarely see a child with only one diagnosis. More often, they present with a constellation of traits that don’t fit neatly into one category. That’s because the brain is interconnected, and when one area is dysregulated, it can throw off others.
This means a child might have Autism and ADHD, or anxiety alongside sensory processing disorder. Or they may have OCD behaviors driven by an autoimmune issue like PANS or PANDAS. When we only treat one piece of the puzzle, we risk missing the true root of their distress.
It’s not uncommon for a child to have:
- Autism and ADHD (AuDHD)
- ADHD and dyslexia
- OCD and PANS/PANDAS
- Sensory issues and anxiety
This is why behavior can look confusing. When you address one issue but miss the others, progress stalls.
Here’s a quick look at common co-occurring neurodivergent diagnoses:
Common Diagnosis in Neurodivergent Children and How They Co-Occur
| Diagnosis #1 | Diagnosis #2 | Why They Often Co-Occur |
|---|---|---|
| Autism | ADHD | Shared challenges with executive function and sensory needs |
| ADHD | Dyslexia | Difficulty with attention impacts reading and learning |
| OCD | PANS/PANDAS | Autoimmune flares can trigger obsessive behaviors |
| SPD | Anxiety | Sensory overload often leads to anxious reactions |
| Autism | PDA | Demand avoidance often rooted in anxiety and overwhelm |
| ADHD | RSD | Emotional sensitivity to rejection and perceived criticism |
| AuDHD | Anxiety | Combined challenges increase dysregulation and overwhelm |
Understanding these overlaps can help you better advocate for comprehensive support—not just a single diagnosis solution.It’s also why profiles like AuDHD (Autism + ADHD), PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) are getting more attention—they reflect how complex and layered neurodivergent profiles can be.
One mom shared that her daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, but the emotional outbursts continued even after trying multiple medications. Her daughter would go from calm to explosive in seconds, and it just didn’t add up. Eventually, deeper testing revealed she had PANS—an infection-triggered condition that causes sudden and severe mood and behavior changes. Once they began addressing the inflammation and supporting her nervous system, the daily meltdowns started to fade, and her spark returned.
How Do I Know If My Child is Neurodivergent?
As a parent, it can be hard to tell whether your child is just quirky—or if something deeper is going on. Maybe you’ve noticed certain struggles that persist no matter how much support you give. Or maybe their behavior seems inconsistent—calm one minute and totally overwhelmed the next.
These can be signs that your child’s brain processes the world differently. The key is to look for consistent patterns—not just one-off moments. Neurodivergence tends to show up across settings, like school, home, and social situations. And while each child is unique, there are some reliable steps you can take to better understand what’s going on.
Here’s what to do:
- Track behaviors: Note what’s happening, when, and why. Look for patterns.
- Compare to milestones: Is your child’s development significantly different from peers?
- Ask for feedback: Teachers, caregivers, and therapists may have insights.
- Get an evaluation: A licensed professional (like a psychologist or neuropsychologist) can assess for ADHD, LDs, ASD, and more.
How Can I Help My Neurodivergent Child Thrive?
Once you begin to understand how your child’s brain works, the next question is: How do I help them succeed without burning out myself?
Supporting a neurodivergent child isn’t about fixing them—it’s about meeting them where they are and building systems that help them thrive. That means focusing less on changing their behavior and more on calming the nervous system, reducing overwhelm, and creating consistent support both at home and school.
There’s no one-size-fits-all. But here’s what works:
- Calm the nervous system first (PEMF, breathwork, magnesium, routine)
- Structure and predictability help reduce anxiety and increase safety
- Accommodations (at school and home) level the playing field
- Parent regulation—when you stay calm, your child is more likely to calm too
- Strength-based approach—lean into what your child is good at!
After using a 30-day self-regulation tracker from our toolkit, one dad saw a noticeable shift in his son’s behavior. He added short sensory breaks between transitions, adjusted their morning routine to be more predictable, and started modeling calming strategies himself. Within a few weeks, the daily meltdowns lessened, and his son began asking for breaks instead of melting down.
Here’s how neurodivergent conditions—especially ADHD, autism, and anxiety—can look different in girls, and why so many go undiagnosed for years:
Neurodiversity Umbrella in Girls
| Condition Common Traits in Girls | Why It’s Missed | |
|---|---|---|
| ADHD | Daydreamy, quiet, perfectionistic | Not disruptive, often internalizes struggles |
| Autism | High masking, mimicking social behaviors | Appears socially typical but feels anxious inside |
| OCD | Excessive worrying, mental rituals, people-pleasing | Seen as high-achieving or overly responsible |
| Dyslexia | Avoids reading aloud, memorizes words, anxiety at school | Compensates well, especially in early gradess |
Recognizing these subtleties can help parents and professionals catch missed or misunderstood signs earlier—and provide support before self-esteem takes a hit.
Expert Thoughts on Neurodivergence
Here’s what leading voices in the neurodiversity and mental health community have to say:
“Neurodiversity may be every bit as crucial for the human race as biodiversity is for life in general.”
— Harvey Blume, author and neurodiversity advocate
“ADHD is not a deficit of attention, but rather a difficulty with regulating the right kind of attention at the right time.”
— Dr. Edward Hallowell, psychiatrist and ADHD expert
“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”
— Alexander Den Heijer, speaker and leadership trainer
Next Steps in Supporting Your Neurodivergent Child
Understanding your child’s neurodivergent brain is the first—and most important—step toward creating lasting change. It’s not about slapping on a label or chasing a diagnosis. It’s about seeing your child clearly, meeting them with compassion, and knowing how to respond instead of react.
Neurodivergence isn’t something to be scared of—it’s something to understand. When you know what falls under the neurodivergent umbrella and how to recognize it, you can:
- Stop personalizing your child’s behavior
- Start supporting their brain
- Create a home and school environment that actually works
You’re not alone. You’re doing a great job. And it’s gonna be OK.
FAQs
What is neurodiversity?
Neurodiversity is the natural variation in how brains function—impacting learning, behavior, and processing. It includes both neurotypical andneurodivergent individuals.
What is considered neurodivergence?
Neurodivergence refers to individuals whose brain function falls outside of typical patterns—such as those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or sensory processing issues.
What qualifies as neurodivergent?
Conditions like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and Tourette’s fall under neurodivergence. A child can also be considered neurodivergent without a formal diagnosis.
What are the main types of learning disabilities?
The most common include dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, auditory processing disorder, and visual processing disorder.
Is anxiety considered neurodivergent?
Not on its own—but it often co-occurs with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD or autism, and may be part of the neurodivergent profile.
Can a child be neurodivergent without a diagnosis?
Yes. Neurodivergence is based on how the brain works—not just labels. Many kids benefit from support even without a formal diagnosis.
Can a neurodivergent child succeed in a traditional school?
Yes—with the right support. That might include IEPs, sensory accommodations, and teachers trained in neurodiversity.
How do I find out if my child is neurodivergent?
Track patterns, gather input from teachers or caregivers, and get an evaluation with a licensed professional.
Is neurodivergence lifelong?
Yes, but with proper support, neurodivergent kids can thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.
While anxiety alone isn’t always seen as neurodivergent, anxiety frequently co-occurs with ADHD, autism, and sensory processing challenges. So yes, in many cases it’s part of a neurodivergent profile.
Can a child be neurodivergent without a diagnosis?
Yes. Neurodivergence doesn’t start with a diagnosis—it starts with how the brain functions. Many kids (and adults) go undiagnosed but still benefit from support.
Is neurodivergence permanent?
It’s lifelong—but that doesn’t mean it’s a life sentence. With the right support, neurodivergent kids can thrive in school, friendships, and life.
What’s the difference between a learning disability and a learning difference?
A learning disability is a diagnosable neurological condition, like dyslexia or dyscalculia, that affects specific academic skills. A learning difference refers to a broader range of challenges that may not meet diagnostic criteria but still impact how a child learns best.
Can a neurodivergent child succeed in a traditional school?
Yes—with the right support. That might include IEPs or 504 plans, sensory breaks, or simply having teachers who understand and accommodate different learning and regulation needs.
What should I do if I suspect my child is neurodivergent?
Track behaviors, seek feedback from caregivers or teachers, and consult a licensed professional. Early support can make a world of difference.
While anxiety alone isn’t always seen as neurodivergent, anxiety frequently co-occurs with ADHD, autism, and sensory processing challenges. So yes, in many cases it’s part of a neurodivergent profile.
Can a child be neurodivergent without a diagnosis?
Yes. Neurodivergence doesn’t start with a diagnosis—it starts with how the brain functions. Many kids (and adults) go undiagnosed but still benefit from support.
Is neurodivergence permanent?
It’s lifelong—but that doesn’t mean it’s a life sentence. With the right support, neurodivergent kids can thrive in school, friendships, and life.
Citations
Bowers, L. M., & Ramsdell, H. L. (2023). Rethinking Literacy Intervention: Addressing a Practice Gap With Best Practices From Multisensory Structured Language Approaches. LSHSS, 55(3), 1–16. https://doi.org/10.1044/2023_lshss-22-00133
Erbeli, F., Hart, S. A., & Taylor, J. (2018). Genetic and Environmental Influences on Achievement Outcomes Based on Family History of Learning Disabilities Status. Journal of Learning Disabilities, 52(2), 135–145. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022219418775116
Kovas, Y., Haworth, C. M. A., Dale, P. S., Plomin, R., Weinberg, R. A., Thomson, J. M., & Fischer, K. W. (2007). The Genetic and Environmental Origins of Learning Abilities and Disabilities in the Early School Years. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 72(3), i–156. https://www.jstor.org/stable/30163178
Margolis, A. E., Broitman, J., Davis, J. M., Alexander, L., Hamilton, A., Liao, Z., Banker, S., Thomas, L., Ramphal, B., Salum, G. A., Merikangas, K., Goldsmith, J., Paus, T., Keyes, K., & Milham, M. P. (2020). Estimated Prevalence of Nonverbal Learning Disability Among North American Children and Adolescents. JAMA Network Open, 3(4), e202551–e202551. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.2551
Pennington, B. F. (1995). Genetics of Learning Disabilities. Journal of Child Neurology, 10(1_suppl), S69–S77. https://doi.org/10.1177/08830738950100s114
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Mental Health who frequently is in the media:
- Helping Children Thrive Podcast Benefits of Neurofeedback for children with ADHD
- Very Well Mind What Is Asperger Syndrome?
- CBS (Video) Student Learning Resources Quarantine
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
© Roseann-Capanna-Hodge, LLC 2025
