Is it ADHD or something else?

149: Why Did My Kid Do That? – Understanding Behavior

Understanding kids’ behaviors is key for effective parenting. Distinguish between normal developmental phases and signs requiring clinical attention to guide and nurture your child appropriately.

It's common to encounter various behaviors exhibited by our kids, be it expressions of frustration, virtual tantrums, or outright anger. But here's the thing – most of the time, kids aren't intentionally acting out. They're not fully aware of why they're behaving the way they are, much like us adults who sometimes struggle to understand our own actions.

As parents, it's essential for us to delve deeper into the intricacies of kids' behaviors to become better at guiding them. And so, in our journey to comprehend the reasons behind our kids’ actions, let's distinguish between what demands serious clinical attention and what's a natural part of the developmental process.

Understanding and addressing children's behavioral issues.

Understanding the behavior of children is crucial, as behavior serves as the language of children, irrespective of age or maturity level, and each child's unique temperament can often influence specific behaviors. In the realm of parenting, recognizing that behavior serves as a form of communication is pivotal. This holds true regardless of a child's developmental stage; behavior remains a constant, expressing their thoughts, emotions, and needs.

One crucial lesson I've learned as I grew older is not to personalize a child's behavior as this can lead to misunderstandings. There are moments when annoyance takes over, and I've witnessed other parents who struggle to understand their kids. I recall a parent who couldn't fathom why one of their children wasn't as perfectly behaved as the others. Turned out, the child had ADD, and after neurofeedback therapy, significant progress was made.

Clinical issues can also play a role, causing learning challenges and requiring more reinforcement. Even with a background and experience in child psychology, it's not always easy. I've worked with thousands of kids, and the outsider perspective often sheds light on the root causes.

Parents often question why strategies that worked for one child don't apply to another. It could be a learned response that needs more reinforcement or potentially a clinical issue. Taking the time to provide ample reinforcement is crucial, as children can latch onto behaviors for various reasons, including anxiety, processing issues, or confusion caused by negative language at home.

It's a complex journey, but understanding the reasons behind behaviors is key to effective parenting. If you're interested in working with us on these challenges, you may visit and explore our solutions: Take our Solutions Matcher here.

Parental expectations and child development.

One significant challenge in understanding kids' behaviors is the presence of mismatched expectations between parents and children. This mismatch spans the developmental spectrum, from parents expecting too much or too little from their children.

It’s necessary to articulate expectations in writing to better avoid micromanaging conversations. This shift in approach helps reduce conflict and provides the child with a clearer understanding of expectations. It's crucial to recognize that expectations can vary, causing tension between parent and child.

Beyond expectations, various factors can contribute to children struggling at home. The family ecosystem plays a pivotal role, and stressors such as financial changes, loss of a pet or grandparent, divorce, or parental job-related stress can impact a child's well-being. While shielding children from all stressors isn't feasible, open communication about these challenges proves beneficial. Discussing stress, its management, and fostering emotional conversations contribute not only to the present but also shapes the mental health of future generations.

In the quest for effective parenting, acknowledging imperfections is crucial. Talking about feelings, often overlooked, is an essential aspect of nurturing emotionally resilient children. Whether it's apologizing for a moment of frustration or discussing feelings openly, these actions contribute to creating a healthier generational mental health legacy.

Understanding and addressing children's avoidant behavior.

Avoidant behavior is a common aspect of kids’ actions, often stemming from a desire to dodge tasks they find challenging or uncomfortable. It's essential to engage in open conversations with your kid, asking questions about how they feel. This approach fosters new learning and helps children connect with their emotions.

Understanding that avoidant behavior might be directed towards specific people, like a parent, is essential. Kids often display certain behaviors in particular environments or towards specific individuals because those places or people feel safest to them. Recognizing this can reduce confusion and prevent the misconception that the child is intentionally behaving that way.

Sensory issues play a substantial role in the behavior of neurodivergent kids or those with conditions like ADHD, PANS and PANDAS. Incorporating sensory exercises regularly helps the nervous system reach a regulated state over time. Activities such as brain gym exercises, swimming, karate, trampolining, or using a weighted blanket are effective in promoting sensory regulation. Remember that self-regulation is not an instantaneous choice but a gradual process that, with consistency, contributes to creating a more harmonious and understanding parent-child dynamic.

Managing children's behavior and mental health.

Hunger and fatigue often play a significant role in a child's behavior. That is why ensuring kids receive a variety of foods is crucial for their overall well-being. I've found that nutritional supplements, like our Multi-Mag Brain Formula, can be greatly beneficial insofar as magnesium and vitamin D are essential for the body, particularly the brain's calming and regulating functions.

When facing agitated or activated behavior in kids, it's vital to focus on stress tolerance and coping skills. Creating a window of tolerance for stress management becomes essential in today's fast-paced world.

To learn more about children’s behavior problems, you may read the following blog posts:

●      8 Common Child Behavior Problems and their Solutions

●      9 Ways to Improve Your Childs Behavior

Watch related podcast:

●      Is my Kid Doing This on Purpose?

●      Is it Normal Behavior or ADHD?

➡️ Join our FREE Natural Parenting Community to receive science-backed resources for your child and family. Join here.

➡️ Get help from Dr. Roseann and her team. Apply here. 

➡️ “Is it ADHD or something else?” Take the quiz. 

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147 Therapist-Endorsed

Self-Regulation Strategies

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A Practical Guide For Parents

147 therapist endorsed self-regulation strategies for children a practical guide for parents
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