Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
If your child struggles to follow through or melts down when faced with a challenge, you’re not alone. Many dysregulated kids simply don’t know how to think through problems or visualize the end result. In this episode, Dr. Roseann explains why goal setting is more than a productivity tool—it’s a brain training strategy that helps kids build executive functioning, self-regulation, and confidence.
You’ll learn how to stop rescuing your child, foster independence, and coach them to problem-solve through calm and consistent guidance.
Why do so many kids struggle with coping skills today?
Our children are growing up in a world that overwhelms their brains—constant stimulation, social pressure, and high academic demands. But one of the biggest issues driving the youth mental health crisis is a lack of independence.
Parents often mean well when they overprotect, but by rescuing our kids from failure or discomfort, we deny them the chance to develop resilience.
Here’s what helps:
- Give kids room to make mistakes and learn from them.
- Encourage small decisions and celebrate effort, not perfection.
- Model healthy coping when things don’t go as planned.
When kids experience struggle in a safe environment, their brains build emotional endurance—something no lecture can replace.
How can goal setting improve coping skills?
Goal setting helps kids learn how to think forward, which is essential for managing emotions and challenges. When a child can see the “end result,” they’re better able to break tasks into steps and stay calm in the process.
Try this:
- Ask your child, “What’s your goal?” before they start a task.
- Help them visualize success (like finishing homework, not skipping school or cleaning their room).
- Use gentle prompts when they get stuck: “What’s the next small step you can take?”
What’s an easy way to teach goal setting to kids?
Dr. Roseann uses a relatable example: grocery shopping. Adults with good executive functioning naturally plan what they’ll cook, list ingredients, and shop efficiently. Kids with dysregulated brains, however, may wander without direction because they can’t yet visualize the end goal.
So, start small and practice goal setting in everyday tasks:
- Making a sandwich
- Packing a school bag
- Saving money for a new toy
Over time, these micro goals train the brain to think ahead and self-regulate.
How can parents stop rescuing and start coaching?
It’s tempting to jump in when your child struggles, but independence only grows when you let them problem-solve. As Dr. Roseann says, you have to stop being the life preserver and start being the swim coach.
- A life preserver rescues every time a child flounders.
- A swim coach teaches skills, gives feedback, and cheers progress.
Let your child swim in safe, shallow waters first—but let them swim.
👉 When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.
The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
🗣️ “You have to stop being a life preserver and start being their swim coach. A swim coach doesn’t swim for you—they teach you how to swim.”
— Dr. Roseann
Teaching coping skills through goal setting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. When you help your child set clear goals and visualize success, you’re training their brain to manage stress and build resilience. Remember, it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain, and with the right tools, it’s gonna be OK.
FAQs
What are coping skills for kids?
Coping skills are strategies that help kids manage emotions, stress, and frustration in healthy ways.
Why can’t my child handle failure?
Dysregulated brains often struggle to recover from setbacks. Teaching goal setting and problem-solving builds tolerance for frustration.
How can I build my child’s executive functioning?
Use step-by-step tasks, visual schedules, and consistent routines that teach planning and organization.
What age should kids start goal setting?
Even preschoolers can set small goals—like cleaning up toys or practicing patience—when modeled and reinforced positively.
Can neurofeedback help my child’s coping skills?
Yes. Neurofeedback trains the brain to self-regulate, improving attention, mood, and resilience over time.
Next Step:
Every child’s journey is different. That’s why cookie-cutter solutions don’t work.
Take the free Solution Matcher Quiz and get a customized path to support your child’s emotional and behavioral needs—no guessing, no fluff.
Start today at www.drroseann.com/help
