Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
When your child is drowning in intrusive thoughts, endless questions, or rituals that take over your home, it can feel terrifying and isolating. But you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. OCD is fear-driven, exhausting, and often misunderstood—especially when it’s mistaken for anxiety.
In today’s episode, I walk you through why OCD behaves the way it does, why accommodation accidentally fuels it, and the real steps parents can take to stop feeding the OCD monster so kids can reclaim their lives again.
Why does my child keep asking the same question over and over?
Kids with OCD aren’t being difficult—they’re terrified. Reassurance-seeking questions are attempts to neutralize an intrusive fear. Every time you answer, the anxiety temporarily drops… but OCD learns, “Aha, I need that again.”
This is why reassurance becomes a trap.
Key points:
- Reassurance lowers fear briefly but strengthens OCD long-term.
- The brain habituates to repeated answers, raising the baseline anxiety over time.
- Your child isn’t choosing this—it’s a dysregulated brain trying to feel safe.
Parent Story
A mom shared that her son asked, “Are you sure the stove is off?” dozens of times each night. Reassurance helped for only seconds before the fear returned. Once the family paused that reassurance loop, the obsessive checking finally began to lose its grip.
Tips:
- Use scripts like: “I know this feels scary, but I’m not going to answer OCD.”
- Offer co-regulation: slow breathing, grounding touch, calm voice.
How can I stop accommodating OCD without making things worse?
Accommodation feels instinctive—parents want to reduce their child’s suffering. But with OCD, kindness often backfires.
You break the cycle by stepping out of OCD’s rules.
Key points:
- Accommodation = feeding the OCD monster.
- Boundary-setting is the treatment, not the problem.
- Yes, your child may escalate at first—that’s withdrawal from the ritual, not harm.
Parent Story
One mom gently stopped answering contamination questions and instead said, “I believe you can handle the uncertainty.” Within a week, the meltdowns decreased and her child felt more confident.
What to try:
- Set one small boundary first—don’t overhaul everything at once
- Remain calm and empathetic (“I know this is hard. I’m here.”)
- Pair limit-setting with ERP guidance from a qualified clinician
When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.
The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
Why is finding the right OCD provider so important?
OCD is frequently misdiagnosed or treated like anxiety—leading to minimal or no improvement. OCD requires specialized therapy: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
Key points:
- ERP is the gold-standard treatment, not general CBT or anxiety therapy.
- Many therapists say they treat OCD but do not use true exposure-based work.
- Families need psychoeducation to stay consistent—misalignment between caregivers is a major barrier.
Real-life Example
Parents often tell me, “We tried therapy but nothing changed.” Once they switch to ERP and stop accommodating, progress suddenly becomes possible.
Tips for choosing a provider:
- Ask directly: “Do you use Exposure and Response Prevention?”
- Look for clinicians with OCD-specific training—not just general anxiety experience
- Ensure your partner and caregivers receive guidance too
Why is OCD treatment resistant?
OCD is treatment resistant because:
- It’s often misdiagnosed
- Kids receive non-ERP treatments
- Parents struggle to stop accommodating (understandably!)
- Providers may lack specialized training
But here’s the truth: OCD is highly treatable once the right approach is used. It’s gonna be OK.
With ERP, brain-based supports like the BrainBehaviorReset™ Program, and consistent family involvement, kids learn to tolerate uncertainty and reclaim their power.
🗣️ “OCD is a tyrant—but once we stop accommodating it and use exposure-based tools, kids learn they’re stronger than their fears.” — Dr. Roseann
Takeaway
Your child’s intrusive thoughts and rituals aren’t a reflection of bad behavior—they’re signs of a fear-hijacked brain. When you stop feeding the OCD monster and use ERP with the right support, everything starts to shift. You’re not alone, and there is a clear path forward.
FAQs
How do I explain OCD to my child?
Say: “Your brain sends false alarms. We’re going to teach it not to fall for them.”
Does ignoring reassurance questions harm my child?
No. You’re not ignoring them—you’re refusing to feed OCD’s fear loop.
Can OCD and anxiety show up together?
Yes, but their treatment is different. OCD needs ERP.
Tired of not knowing what’s really going on with your child?
The Solution Matcher gives you a personalized recommendation based on your child’s behavior, not just a label. It’s free, takes just a few minutes, and shows you the best next step.
Go to www.drroseann.com/help
