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Teens often don’t tell us they’re anxious because the feelings sneak up on them or they’re afraid of disappointing us. Many kids simply don’t have the language to name what they feel.
What to watch for:
- Stomach aches, sleep problems, or headaches
- Changes in appetite
- Withdrawing or hiding in their room
- Irritability or sudden defiance
Scenario: Your teen says their stomach hurts before school… again. Instead of brushing it off, try:
“Your body is telling us something. I’m here—let’s figure it out together.”
Takeaways:
- Symptoms often show up physically before emotionally.
- Kids need us to model emotional vocabulary.
- Avoidance gives short-term relief but increases long-term anxiety.
What makes teen anxiety worse (and what actually helps)?
Unchecked anxiety grows. If your child is avoiding schoolwork, isolating, or glued to screens, they may be coping through anxious avoidance.
Helpful tools:
- Mindfulness + somatic strategies to help calm the body
- Neurofeedback to regulate brainwave activity
- PEMF therapy to support cellular and nervous system functioning
- CBT + emotional validation to reframe anxious thoughts
How do I help my teen when they shut down or get defensive?
When teens are dysregulated, they can’t access their frontal lobes—so lecturing or correcting won’t work.
Try this instead:
- Stay calm and soft-voiced
- Validate first: “I can see this feels big for you.”
- Offer a later check-in: “Let’s talk after dinner when your brain feels calmer.”
- Give space without abandoning
Scenario: Your teen snaps, “Leave me alone!”
Instead of reacting, try tossing a ball later while chatting casually. Movement reduces defensiveness and opens the door for connection.
Why does my teen’s defiance feel worse when they’re anxious?
Defiance is often a mask for fear or loss of control. Behavior is communication.
Core drivers:
- Overwhelm
- Fear of failing
- Feeling misunderstood
- Low stress tolerance
Support strategies:
- Keep your tone regulated even when they’re not
- Help them explore why they reacted
- Reinforce what they handled well
- Use somatic tools (breathing, grounding, sensory resets)
If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…
Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home.
🗣️ “Let’s calm the brain first—because when the nervous system feels safe, everything else becomes possible.”
— Dr. Roseann
Final Thoughts
Anxiety doesn’t mean your teen is broken—it means their nervous system needs support. With calm brain tools, emotional validation, and the right therapeutic strategies, it’s gonna be OK. You can help your teen build resilience and confidence one calm interaction at a time.
FAQs
How do I know if my teen’s anxiety needs professional help?
Look for persistent physical symptoms, withdrawal, school refusal, or panic. If it impacts daily life, it’s time to seek support.
Can boys show anxiety differently than girls?
Yes—boys often express anxiety through irritability, shutdowns, or anger rather than words.
Is CBT enough for anxious teens?
CBT helps, but many teens also need somatic tools or neurofeedback to regulate the body first.
Does avoidance make anxiety worse?
Yes. Avoidance shrinks your child’s world and reinforces fear.
Can anxiety look like defiance?
Absolutely—many anxious kids appear oppositional when they’re actually overwhelmed.
Next Step:
Every child’s journey is different. That is why cookie cutter solutions do not work.
Take the free Solution Matcher Quiz and get a customized path to support your child’s emotional and behavioral needs. Start today at www.drroseann.com/help
