You’re not failing—your child’s nervous system is overwhelmed. When big feelings hijack the brain, even simple requests feel impossible.
In this short episode, I’ll explain why emotional dysregulation in ADHD is so common and what’s really driving it. You’ll discover how to calm meltdowns and teach problem-solving once your child’s brain is regulated.
Why does my child with ADHD go from “fine” to furious in seconds?
Emotional dysregulation in ADHD usually sits on top of impulse control and anxiety. Kids feel a surge (real or perceived threat), act before thinking, and then get flooded.
About 70% of kids with ADHD struggle with regulation. Sometimes it’s labeled “rejection sensitivity,” which makes everyday bumps feel like cliffs.
Try this:
- Calm first. Lower your voice, slow your breath, reduce demands.
- Name what’s happening (“Your brain is in go-go-go mode”) rather than labeling “bad behavior.”
- Co-regulate: Your steadiness is the shortcut to theirs. Let’s calm the brain first.
Example: After being told “No screen right now,” your child yells and slams doors. You step close, soften your shoulders, and say, “I’m here. We’ll talk when bodies are calm.” Minutes later, you revisit the plan.
Should I try to reason during a meltdown?
Short answer: No. When dysregulated, a child’s thinking brain goes offline. Reasoning or lecturing adds fuel.
Do instead:
- Avoid arguing; keep words brief and neutral.
- De-personalize: This is a dysregulated brain, not defiance. Behavior is communication.
- Reset the environment: Fewer stimuli, more safety (quiet space, movement, deep pressure).
How can I teach emotional regulation at home?
Many families talk about feelings but miss the practice reps. Regulation is a learned skill.
Make it stick with:
- Daily reps: 2–3 short practices (box breathing, wall push-ups, sensory break).
- Scripts: “Name it → Breathe it → Move it → Solve it.”
- Modeling: “I’m getting activated. I’m going to breathe, then we’ll problem-solve.”
- Pair with episodes like bold emotional regulation strategies and impulse control tools for more ideas.
My child knows the steps… so why can’t they do them?
Knowing isn’t doing when the brain is dysregulated. Kids with ADHD often need scaffolded problem-solving at every step (start, sustain, finish).
Coach with prompts:
- “What’s first?” (open the backpack)
- “What’s next?” (find the worksheet)
- “What could get in the way?” (noise, hunger, perfectionism)
- “What’s the plan if that happens?” (noise-canceling, snack, timer)
When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.
The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
🗣️ “Avoid arguing or trying to reason with a dysregulated child; stay calm, don’t personalize the behavior, and model regulation.”
— Dr. Roseann
Key Takeaway from Today’s Episode
Emotional dysregulation in ADHD is common and fixable when we Regulate → Connect → Correct™. Start by calming the nervous system and then rehearse bite-sized problem-solving. You’re not alone—and small, consistent steps create big change.
Next Step: Don’t stop here—check out the brain-based tools and related episodes. Keep building your child’s regulation skills.
FAQs About Emotional Dysregulation
What should I do first during a meltdown?
Lower stimulation, breathe, and say less. Co-regulate before correcting or teaching.
Does talking about feelings help?
Yes, after the regulation. Teach short scripts and daily practice, not just labels.
How long will it take to see progress?
Consistency matters more than perfection. Most families notice fewer and shorter meltdowns when they practice daily.
Every child’s journey is different. That’s why cookie-cutter solutions don’t work.
Take the free Solution Matcher Quiz and get a customized path to support your child’s emotional and behavioral needs—no guessing, no fluff.
Start today at www.drroseann.com/help
Regulate. Connect. Correct.™ Because when we calm the brain first, everything follows.
