Spotting the Signs: Common Dysregulated Behaviors Explained

Common Dysregulated Behavior Examples and Their Causes

Understanding how dysregulated behavior shows up—and what might be driving it—is the first step toward finding solutions.

Emotional Outbursts: More Than Just a Tantrum

We’re not talking about a typical tantrum. These are reactions that are completely out of proportion, like 30 minutes of inconsolable screaming over a minor schedule change. This is a nervous system in overload.

This frustration intolerance can be triggered by small things, and the meltdown can feel impossible to stop. Sometimes, it’s a sign of sensory overload, where the brain can’t process all the incoming sights and sounds. For some, it’s part of a pattern called Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (Benarous et al., 2020), characterized by chronic irritability and severe, frequent temper outbursts. Behavior is communication. These outbursts are your child’s way of telling you their internal world is chaotic.

Behavioral Dysregulation Examples: Impulsive and Aggressive Actions

When emotions take over, they can translate into physical actions. These dysregulated behavior examples happen before the thinking brain can intervene.

• Poor impulse control: Acting without thinking of consequences.
• Physical aggression: Hitting, kicking, or biting when overwhelmed.
• Throwing objects or property destruction: Breaking things when frustration peaks.
• Self-injury: Head-banging or scratching.
• Running away: Fleeing from overwhelming situations.

These behaviors are often linked to conditions like ADHD, where executive functioning challenges make self-control difficult, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Brænden et al., 2023), which involves a persistent pattern of defiance. Common triggers include transitions, unexpected changes, demands, and sensory overload. These behaviors don’t mean your child is “bad”—they mean their brain needs help developing regulation skills.

Internalized Dysregulation: The Quiet Struggle

Not all dysregulation is explosive. Sometimes the struggle is quiet and internal. These quieter dysregulated behavior examples include:

• Persistent anxiety and depression: Constant worry, deep sadness, or irritability.
• Social withdrawal: Pulling away from friends and family.
• School refusal: Overwhelming anxiety about attending school.
• Emotional numbness or refusal to speak: Shutting down emotionally or going non-verbal.
• Excessive perfectionism: Intense distress over minor mistakes.

These struggles can be linked to psychological trauma, PTSD, or neurodevelopmental conditions like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), where sensory and social challenges create an overwhelming internal experience (Tsuji et al., 2022). These quiet signs deserve just as much attention as the loud ones. The path forward is to calm the brain first, no matter how the dysregulation shows up.

How to Support Your Child and Restore Calm

When your child is struggling, it can feel overwhelming. But there are powerful, brain-based strategies to help them find calm. The key is to remember that during a meltdown, their logical brain is offline. Our first priority is always to “Let’s calm the brain first.”

At-Home Strategies: Creating a Regulated Environment

Creating a supportive home environment is about building a foundation of calm. Here are some strategies you can start using today:

• Practice Co-regulation: Your calm presence is an anchor. Sit quietly with them, speak in a soothing voice, and breathe slowly. Your regulated nervous system can help regulate theirs.
• Validate Their Feelings: Instead of dismissing their reaction, acknowledge the emotion. “I can see you’re really upset.” This recognizes the feeling behind the behavior, as behavior is communication.
• Model Calm Responses: Children learn by watching you. When you handle your own stress with a deep breath instead of anger, you’re teaching them emotional regulation.
• Use Predictable Routines: Consistent schedules for meals, bedtime, and transitions reduce anxiety and provide a sense of safety.
• Create a Calm-Down Corner: Designate a cozy spot with sensory tools like a weighted blanket, fidgets, or headphones. It’s a safe space to reset, not a punishment.
• Teach Deep Breathing: Practice simple exercises like “belly breathing” or “smell the flower, blow out the candle” during calm moments so they become an automatic tool.

When to Seek Help for Dysregulated Behavior

It can be hard to know when to call in a professional. Here are some clear indicators that it’s time to seek support for the dysregulated behavior examples you’re seeing:

• Impact on Happiness: Your child is frequently unhappy, anxious, or withdrawn.
• Safety Concerns: The behavior involves self-harm, aggression toward others, or property destruction.
• Disruption to Daily Life: The struggles are impacting home, school, and social activities.
• The FIDI Principle: The behaviors are frequent, intense, long in duration, and impairing daily function.
• You Feel Overwhelmed: If you’ve tried everything and feel exhausted or hopeless, expert support can make all the difference.

At our practice, we specialize in brain-based therapies that get to the root cause of dysregulation. We offer parent coaching and holistic, evidence-based interventions that create real, lasting change. We’ve helped thousands of families move from chaos to calm. You’re not alone. If you’re ready to find solutions that work, we invite you to learn more about our services and schedule a consultation.