Distracted Parenting

Distracted Parenting: 6 Tips to Help Limit A Parent’s Own Screen Time

We’ve all been there—fighting the good fight over screen time with our kids, setting limits, and trying to keep them engaged in the real world. But have you ever stopped to think about your own screen habits? The truth is, our kids are watching us just as closely as we’re watching them. 

Mobile technology, such as smartphones and tablets, can contribute to distracted parenting by constantly demanding our attention. If we want them to unplug, we have to lead by example. So, let’s talk about ways to manage our own screen time because it’s not just about setting boundaries for them—it’s about modeling healthy habits for the whole family.

Still Face Experiment: A Social Learning Theory

The “still face experiment” shows just how a child relies on their parent’s facial expressions and reactions to feel safe and connected (Tronick et al., 1978). In the study, a parent plays with their baby and then suddenly goes still—no smiles, no reactions—just a blank face. The baby quickly notices and gets upset, showing how much they depend on those little interactions to feel secure.

This highlights how important it is for parents to stay engaged and responsive, especially when our screens can easily pull our attention away. Kids need our faces, not just our presence.

Distracted Parenting

Distracted parenting can make children feel disconnected and insecure, as they rely on their parents’ attention and engagement for emotional support. When parents are absorbed by screens or other distractions, kids may feel overlooked, leading to increased stress, anxiety, or acting out, which can negatively impact child development.

It’s not just about being physically present—it’s about being emotionally available. Consistent engagement, like making eye contact, listening, and responding, helps children feel secure and valued. Managing distractions, especially screen time, is essential for fostering a healthy parent-child bond.

A parent’s reaction or lack of reaction forms the basis of their emotional development. This social-emotional developmental window is so critical and is now being negatively impacted by a generation of device-distracted parents.

Is Parent Mobile Technology Screen Time Hurting Kids?

Yes, parent’s excessive screen time use is hurting their children because they are not just distracted but, more importantly, emotionally unavailable. Technology has forced its way into making a new parental-interaction style. When parents are frequently distracted by their phones or other devices, children may feel ignored or less important. This emotional disconnect can lead to insecurity, stress, and behavioral issues, as kids thrive on attention and interaction to feel understood and supported. Parents need to model appropriate behavior to foster a positive environment for their children, demonstrating how to balance technology use with personal interactions.

Children often model their behavior after their parents. This behavior modeling can significantly impact their own development. If they see excessive screen use, they may adopt similar habits, which can affect their emotional and social growth.

Balancing screen time with meaningful, engaged interaction is essential for fostering a healthy parent-child relationship and supporting children’s emotional and social well-being.

How Distracted Parenting Affects Child Development

Parents are less conscious and responsive both verbally and non-verbally to their child’s needs. They miss those opportunities to give and teach emotional and communication cues through observational learning, where children learn behaviors by watching and imitating their parents.

In order to help our children learn how to behave emotionally and socially, parents should limit their own screen time. Children can learn behaviors vicariously by observing their parents' actions, even without direct instruction.

6 Tips to Help Limit A Parent’s Own Screen Time

Put Your Phone on Airplane Mode When You Are With Your Kids

This may be painful, but your phone isn’t an extension of your hand and you have to shut it off when you are with your child. Putting your phone on airplane mode helps you pay attention to your child, ensuring you are fully present. We don’t have to be accessible to everyone 24 hours a day and you got one shot at doing this parenting thing right, so make sure you are fully there.

Be Present When You Are With Your Kids

That means don’t take pictures every second you are with your kids because a camera lens isn’t the same as your child seeing your face and body language. You have to be there and not just physically! That means really connecting with your kid and having experiences together. Mindful parenting is something that we all strive to achieve. 

Teach Your Child What Good Attention Is Through Behavior Modeling

If you are constantly interrupted by texts and emails when you are with your child, how will they ever know to complete a task? They are learning all about self-regulation from you and that will impact their attention and executive functioning. And when kids lack good executive functioning that means they have a hard time with everyday tasks at home and with learning at school. 

Check Emails and Texts at Scheduled Times 

Have an automatic message sent that says, “I check my email at 9am, 12pm and 3pm and will return your email within 24 hours.” Setting boundaries isn’t just healthy for you, it shows your kids how to set boundaries and serves as such models for them to follow, demonstrating that they are your priority when you are with them.

Teach Your Child Through Your Facial Expressions and Body Language

You have to disconnect from your device to teach your child those all-important nonverbal cues. Social skills aren’t something you are born with, they are learned! Aha parenting moment! According to social learning theory, children learn social skills by observing their parents. That is why distracted parenting is so dangerous because if your kid doesn’t learn how to regulate, that means they will have difficulty controlling their emotions and behaviors, as well as will struggle to get along with others.

Have Scheduled Technology Free Time

Look, it is hard to juggle working from home and being a parent! Putting structure and routine into your life will help you actually enjoy the time you spend with your kids. Scheduled technology-free time is essential for healthy child development, as it allows for strong emotional cues and responsive communication. It’s even more stressful when you try to juggle those calls and texts with your kid at the park, so do your best to be engaged. Not only will it be more enjoyable but you are laying the groundwork for when your child gets older and you need to have healthy screen time boundaries for them, too because we know too much technology does affect their brain and body and is linked to anxiety and depression.

Tronick, E., Als, H., Adamson, L., Wise, S., & Brazelton, T. B. (1978). The infant’s response to entrapment between contradictory messages in face-to-face interaction. Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 17(1), 1-13.