Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
School anxiety is rising and parents are overwhelmed. This episode unpacks why kids fear school and what their behavior is really saying. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, creator of Regulation First Parenting™, explains how calming the brain first supports emotional regulation and school success.
School Anxiety Is Not a Parenting Failure
If your child melts down at night, complains of stomachaches in the morning, or flat-out refuses school, you are not the only one. School anxiety is one of the fastest-growing concerns parents face, and it matters because untreated anxiety grows. In this episode, you will learn why school refusal happens and how to spot the early warning signs.
Why is my child suddenly anxious about going to school?
School anxiety rarely comes out of nowhere. Pressure, perfectionism, and expectations beyond developmental norms overload a child’s nervous system.
When kids feel they must perform perfectly, their brain flips into survival mode.
Key contributors include:
- Academic pressure from adults or themselves
- Social stress and fear of embarrassment
- Technology and social media comparisons
- Stress or conflict at home
Example: A second grader who loved school starts crying every night because spelling tests feel terrifying, not challenging.
Is school refusal a sign of anxiety or defiance?
School refusal is a red flag for dysregulation, not bad behavior. Behavior is communication.
Kids may say they are sick, move slowly in the morning, or beg to stay home. These are nervous system signals, not manipulation.
Watch for:
- Morning meltdowns or shutdowns
- Frequent physical complaints
- Avoidance of school-related conversations
- Increased irritability or mood swings
It’s not bad parenting. It’s a dysregulated brain.
How does social anxiety show up in younger kids?
Social anxiety often starts early and looks different than adults expect. Kids may fear speaking up, struggle to make friends, or avoid group activities.
Common signs include:
- Fear of embarrassment or rejection
- Stomachaches or headaches before school
- Academic decline tied to peer stress
Example: A child who understands the work freezes during class discussions because being seen feels unsafe.
Early support helps kids build confidence and coping skills.
Which kids are most at risk for school anxiety?
Children with OCD, ADHD, anxiety disorders, or learning challenges are at higher risk. Their brains work harder to manage stress, attention, and uncertainty.
Increased risk factors include:
- Difficulty with focus or learning
- Sleep or appetite changes
- Bullying or peer conflict
- Family stress or transitions
When school feels emotionally unsafe, avoidance feels logical to a child.
When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.
The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.
What Dr. Roseann Says
️ “Grades are not a benchmark of mental health, and when we forget that, anxiety takes over.”
— Dr. Roseann
Final Thoughts on School Anxiety
School anxiety is rising, but hope is real. When we calm the brain first, kids feel safer, more capable, and more connected. You do not need to force school. You need to support regulation. It’s gonna be OK.
Listen to the full episode for deeper guidance and next steps.
FAQ
What causes school anxiety in children?
Pressure, social stress, learning challenges, home stress, and nervous system dysregulation commonly contribute.
How do I know if my child has school anxiety?
Look for avoidance, physical complaints, emotional outbursts, and changes in sleep or mood tied to school.
Can anxiety cause school refusal?
Yes. School refusal is often the first sign of untreated anxiety or dysregulation.
Should I force my anxious child to go to school?
Forcing without regulation can worsen anxiety. Support the nervous system first.
When should I seek professional help?
If anxiety disrupts daily life, learning, or relationships, early support matters.
Next Step:
Tired of not knowing what’s really going on with your child?
The Solution Matcher gives you a personalized recommendation based on your child’s behavior, not just a label.
It’s free, takes just a few minutes, and shows you the best next step.
Go to www.drroseann.com/help
