Is your child always on edge or completely drained? Pause for a moment and observe—their behavior might be revealing important clues about an underlying nervous system imbalance. As parents, it’s often difficult to tell if your child’s actions stem from a clinical issue or are simply part of normal development.
This uncertainty is something I hear frequently from parents in my Dysregulation Solution™ group, and it’s the first step toward uncovering what’s really going on beneath the surface.
With the rise in clinical issues, understanding whether your child is overstimulated or understimulated can be transformative in addressing challenges like ADHD, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation.
Think of the nervous system as your child’s control center, constantly working to maintain balance. When the autonomic nervous system (ANS) becomes dysregulated, your child might show signs of overstimulation (fight-or-flight mode) or understimulation (freeze mode). These imbalances don’t just impact emotions; they shape how your child behaves, learns, and interacts with the world.
Overstimulation and Understimulation
Overstimulation feels like a flood. Too much sensory input overwhelms the brain, leading to hyperactivity, impulsive outbursts, or an inability to settle down. Understimulation, on the other hand, feels like a drought. Too little input leaves the brain sluggish, resulting in disengagement, lethargy, or difficulty initiating tasks.
While one reflects a nervous system in overdrive, the other signals a system struggling to stay engaged. Each requires distinct approaches to restore balance.
The American Psychological Association (APA) explains that our nervous system reacts to the world around us, sometimes getting overwhelmed (overstimulation) or not getting enough input (understimulation). Too much stress can leave the nervous system stuck on “high alert,” causing things like muscle tension or headaches.
On the other hand, not enough activity or sensory input can make people feel restless or bored. Simple activities like regular exercise can help balance the nervous system, lower stress, and boost overall mental health. (American Psychological Association, 2023)
Overstimulated Nervous System
What is overstimulation? An overstimulated nervous system occurs when your child’s brain is overwhelmed by an influx of sensory or emotional input. This flood of stimuli can leave your child feeling anxious, reactive, and unable to self-regulate. Overstimulation often triggers a fight-or-flight response, making it challenging for your child to manage emotions, focus, or respond calmly to everyday situations.
Overstimulated behaviors might include:
- Hyperactivity: Nonstop movement, impulsivity, and difficulty sitting still.
- Emotional Outbursts: Sudden meltdowns or intense frustration.
- Sensory Sensitivities: Feeling overstimulated with lights, sound, or textures.
- Trouble Calming Down: Prolonged recovery after meltdowns.
- Impulsivity: Acting without thinking, interrupting, or grabbing objects.
These behaviors are outward signals that your child’s brain is working overtime to process stimuli.
Under Stimulated Nervous System
In contrast, an understimulated nervous system doesn’t receive enough input to remain engaged and alert. When a child seems disinterested, unmotivated, or emotionally withdrawn, it’s easy to misinterpret their behavior as laziness, inattentiveness, or even defiance. However, what may look like a lack of effort is often a sign of an under-stimulated nervous system—a brain that isn’t getting the input it needs to stay engaged and alert.
Under Stimulated Behaviors May Include:
- Zoning Out: Appearing distracted or daydreaming.
- Low Motivation: Struggling to start or complete tasks.
- Emotional Withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions or shutting down.
- Sluggish Processing: Difficulty following conversations or instructions.
- Disinterest in activities, even those they typically enjoy.
Factors Affecting Nervous System Regulation
Many factors contribute to nervous system regulation, from external triggers like academic and social pressures to internal challenges like undeveloped coping skills. By learning to identify these influences and the underlying “why” behind your child’s behaviors, you can provide the support they need to regain balance.
Stress
Stress plays a pivotal role in your child's nervous system regulation. It can be both good and bad, affecting their emotional and behavioral states. Good stress, like the excitement of a new sibling or a birthday party, can lead to temporary stimulation. However, this can quickly tip into overstimulation if not managed properly.
On the flip side, negative stressors—such as bullying, academic pressures, or family conflict—can overwhelm your child’s nervous system, pushing them into a state of dysregulation.
It’s essential to recognize that the body reacts similarly regardless of the stressor's nature. This means that even joyful events can contribute to dysregulation if they are too intense or frequent. Understanding the impact of stress on your child’s behavior is crucial for developing effective coping strategies.
Stress, whether perceived or real, plays a significant role. It can stem from various sources, including:
- Academic pressures
- Social dynamics
- Family changes
- Environmental toxins
Both good and bad stress can trigger a nervous system response, leading to dysregulation. It’s essential to recognize that the body reacts similarly regardless of the stressor's nature.
Lack of Coping Skills
A significant contributor to nervous system dysregulation is the lack of coping skills.
Coping skills are strategies that help manage stress, regulate emotions, and handle challenges effectively. They act as a toolbox, enabling children and adults to navigate life without becoming overwhelmed. For children, developing these skills is vital as they learn to identify and express emotions while managing daily demands.
Many children have not developed coping skills and this can lead to:
- Difficulty in focusing
- Low frustration tolerance
- Increased emotional outbursts
Teaching your child these skills is vital for their emotional health. Start by modeling self-regulation strategies, such as deep breathing or mindfulness. These practices can help your child manage their emotions more effectively.
Internal Behaviors
When we think about dysregulation, it’s easy to focus on external behaviors like tantrums, outbursts, or defiance because they’re visible and disruptive. However, many internal struggles often go unnoticed, yet they can be just as impactful on a child’s well-being.
Internal signs of dysregulation can show up as:
- anxiety that manifests as withdrawal
- frustration leading to anger
- low motivation resulting in disengagement
Recognizing these internal behaviors is crucial because they are your child’s way of communicating that something isn’t right. These signs often stem from a nervous system that’s out of balance, leaving your child feeling overwhelmed or disconnected.
By tuning in to these less obvious signals, you can better understand what your child is experiencing and take steps to support them in regaining regulation. This awareness not only fosters emotional resilience but also strengthens the connection between you and your child, creating a foundation for long-term growth and self-regulation.
Triggers and Needs
Every behavior has a cause, and when it comes to dysregulation, understanding what sets it off is key to helping your child. Triggers are events, situations, or conditions that overwhelm your child’s nervous system, making it difficult for them to cope. While these triggers might seem minor to an adult, for a child with a sensitive or dysregulated nervous system, they can feel overwhelming or even unmanageable.
Recognizing these triggers is the first step toward meaningful intervention. Instead of focusing solely on the behavior itself, shifting your attention to what’s driving it allows you to address the root cause.
When you learn to decode these signals, you can better anticipate your child’s needs and respond in ways that support regulation and calm. It’s not about eliminating all triggers but equipping your child with the tools and environment they need to navigate them more effectively.
Here are some common triggers to watch for and how they might impact your child’s ability to stay regulated:
- Hunger or fatigue
- Transitions between activities
- Sensory overload from the environment
By identifying these triggers, you can better address your child's needs. This requires patience and a willingness to explore different strategies. Remember, it’s about being a detective in your child’s life, seeking to understand the “why” behind their behaviors.
Environment
Where your child learns, plays, and lives have a profound impact on their nervous system function. Home dynamics, school settings, and even environmental toxins can either promote balance or contribute to dysregulation.
Research shows that enriching a child’s environment with controlled sensory experiences can improve regulation, especially for those with sensory challenges like autism. This intentional exposure to calming and stimulating activities helps the brain process information more effectively, reducing overwhelm and improving focus. (Woo, et al., 2013)
Trauma
Trauma isn’t just about major events; it can also stem from ongoing stressors like medical procedures, bullying, or emotional invalidation. When trauma dysregulates the nervous system, children may struggle to feel safe or grounded, making co-regulation and targeted interventions essential for healing.
Examples of trauma that can impact a child’s nervous system:
- Medical Trauma: Frequent hospital visits, surgeries, or painful treatments.
- Bullying: Repeated social rejection, name-calling, or physical intimidation.
- Emotional Invalidation: Being dismissed, ignored, or gaslit by caregivers or peers.
- Parental Conflict: Exposure to arguments, hostility, or divorce.
- Loss or Grief: The death of a loved one, friend, or pet.
- Neglect: Lack of emotional or physical care in early childhood.
- Chronic Stress: Living in a home with financial instability, substance abuse, or unpredictable environments.
- Natural Disasters: Experiencing hurricanes, fires, or other catastrophic events.
These traumas, whether big or small, accumulate and can dysregulate a child’s brain and body. Recognizing and addressing their impact with compassion and targeted support is vital for helping children heal and build resilience.
Device Overuse
Screen time has become a modern parenting dilemma, and its impact on nervous system regulation is significant. Excessive use of devices can shift the brain into an underactive state, impairing a child’s ability to stay engaged or focused. The dopamine rush from screens often leads to dysregulation, making it harder for kids to transition between activities or manage frustration. Limiting screen time and incorporating technology breaks are key steps in supporting their nervous system.
Alternatives to Child Screen Time
Providing alternatives to screen use can help your child regulate their nervous system and develop healthy habits:
- Physical Activity: Encourage outdoor play, sports, yoga, or family walks to release pent-up energy and improve focus.
- Creative Activities: Offer options like sensory play, drawing, painting, building with blocks, or crafting to engage their imagination.
- Mindfulness and Relaxation: Teach deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation to help reset their nervous system.
- Family Connection: Play board games, cook together, or enjoy simple bonding activities to strengthen relationships and co-regulate.
By replacing screen time with these activities, you’re not just limiting device use—you’re giving your child tools to stay balanced, build resilience, and develop healthy self-regulation habits.
How to Spot the Signs of Overstimulation or Understimulation of the Nervous System
Recognizing whether your child is overstimulated or understimulated is crucial for understanding their behavior. Overstimulated behaviors often manifest as defiance, impulsivity, or emotional outbursts, while understimulated behaviors may resemble symptoms of ADHD or anxiety, such as withdrawal or lack of focus.
The key is to approach your child’s actions as valuable clues rather than viewing them as problems. By interpreting these behaviors through the lens of nervous system regulation, you can better support their emotional and physical needs.
Overstimulation vs Understimulation of the Nervous System and Behaviors You See in Children
Triggers and Sensory Processing
Sensory processing is essential for how the brain interprets and responds to the world around us. Overstimulation occurs when there is too much sensory input, overwhelming the brain and leading to feelings of stress, frustration, or difficulty focusing. Triggers can include sounds, lights, or busy environments.
On the other hand, understimulation happens when there isn’t enough sensory inputs, causing feelings of boredom, disengagement, or low energy. Finding the right balance is crucial for maintaining focus, emotional stability, and overall mental wellness.
Why Calming the Nervous System Matters
When it comes to helping your child thrive, the first step is always to calm the brain. A regulated nervous system is the foundation for better behavior, learning, and emotional strength. Without this balance, even the best therapy, medication, or support can fall short.
By focusing on calming the brain first, you’re giving your child the tools they need to succeed—because no healing, focus, or growth can happen unless the brain feels safe and calm.
Science-Backed Strategies to Regulate the Nervous System
Helping your child find calm starts with understanding what works to regulate their nervous system. The good news? There are science-backed strategies that can make a real difference. These approaches not only calm the brain but also build the foundation for lasting emotional, behavioral, and cognitive growth.
- Co-Regulation: Model calmness to help your child settle their nervous system. Your emotional state can guide theirs.
- Sensory Tools: Use sensory breaks, calming activities, or tactile tools (like stress balls) to support overstimulated kids.
- Movement: Physical activities like yoga or deep breathing exercises can help discharge excess energy or awaken a sluggish brain.
- Diet and Sleep: A balanced diet and consistent sleep schedule are critical for nervous system health.
- Professional Support: Tools like Neurofeedback, CALM PEMF®, and other therapies can retrain your child’s brain toward regulation.
When to Seek Help
If your child’s behaviors feel unmanageable or their recovery from meltdowns is prolonged, it’s time to seek support. Many parents tell me their biggest regret is not getting help sooner. Don’t wait until you’re in crisis—take action now!
If you're seeking guidance, whether your child is overstimulated, understimulated, or experiencing both, the Dysregulation Solution offers practical, easy-to-implement tips to reinforce self-regulation and coping skills. These are the same strategies that I have used in my 30 years of experience as a mental health expert. Empower yourself to manage your child's behavior effectively and foster a more balanced and harmonious home. Click here to learn more.
What is the difference between overstimulation and understimulation?
Overstimulation happens when the brain receives too much sensory input, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed, distracted, or anxious. Understimulation occurs when the brain doesn't get enough sensory input, resulting in feelings of boredom, lethargy, or disengagement.
What does overstimulated mean in people with ADHD?
Common symptoms of ADHD overstimulation include extreme sensitivity to loud sounds, bright lights, or strong smells. Triggers like crowded spaces, flashing lights, or loud concerts can make individuals feel overwhelmed or unable to cope. Overstimulation often results in meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulty calming down.
How does ADHD understimulation affect a child?
ADHD understimulation may cause individuals to feel bored, easily distracted, or disconnected from their surroundings. They might seek more sensory input through activities like playing video games, using noise cancelling headphones, or seeking physical stimulation to keep their brain engaged. Research suggests that not getting enough stimulation can lead to low motivation and depression.
Why do people with an ADHD brain experience overstimulation?
People with ADHD often have sensory processing issues, meaning their brains may overreact to sensory information like loud noises or bright lights. This extreme sensitivity can make it harder to filter out unimportant stimuli, leading to sensory overload.
How does Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) influence sensory processing?
PTSD can significantly impact sensory processing, often making individuals more prone to overstimulation. For example, loud noises may trigger intense reactions due to heightened sensitivity in the nervous system. For some, even seemingly neutral stimuli like strong smells or bright lights can evoke physical discomfort and feelings of being overwhelmed.
How can sensory processing issues manifest in daily life?
Sensory processing issues can show up as discomfort in social settings, difficulty ignoring loud sounds, or an aversion to strong smells. For example, attending big school activities or a loud concert can feel overwhelming and disruptive.
Can occupational therapy help with sensory overload?
Occupational therapy is a valuable resource for addressing sensory needs. An occupational therapist can create strategies to manage sensory input and avoid overstimulation, such as introducing sensory-friendly tools or safe spaces. This helps individuals find the right balance of stimulation for their daily routine.
How do autistic people and those with ADHD experience sensory input differently?
Both autistic people and individuals with ADHD often experience sensory input in heightened ways. While some may feel overstimulated by lights or loud sounds, others might feel understimulated and seek sensory input to engage their brain. These responses vary based on personal experiences and sensory thresholds.
What can be done to avoid overstimulation?
Creating a controlled environment and setting time limits for stimulating activities are effective ways to avoid overstimulation. Create “safe spaces” in your home with reduced stimuli (an organized room with calming colors and no distraction) and structured daily routines can help balance sensory input and reduce feelings of overwhelm.
How does overstimulation or understimulation impact mental health?
Both overstimulation and understimulation can contribute to anxiety, depression, and difficulty coping in daily life. Addressing these states through proper sensory management and support from healthcare professionals, like occupational or mental health specialists, can improve overall well-being.
What role does positive stimulation play in balancing sensory input?
Positive stimulation, such as engaging in calming activities or hobbies (like meditation, crafting, and exercise), helps balance sensory input without causing sensory overload. This might include mindfulness practices, structured physical activities, or exposure to soothing stimuli that keep the brain engaged without feeling overwhelmed.
How does ADHD overstimulation feel, and what triggers overstimulation?
For people with ADHD, overstimulation can feel like mental chaos—a flood of sensory input that becomes overwhelming and hard to process. Triggers of overstimulation often include loud environments, lights, strong smells, or multiple competing stimuli. For example, being in an overcrowded space with flashing lights and loud sounds can quickly overwhelm someone with sensory sensitivities.
How is balancing sensory input a challenge for individuals with ADHD and autism?
Both ADHD and autism often involve sensory issues that require a careful balancing act. Most people can filter sensory input naturally, but for those with ADHD or autism, even typical stimuli like background noise or bright lights can feel overwhelming. A mental health professional or occupational therapist can help create personalized strategies to manage sensory triggers and maintain equilibrium in daily life.
Citations:
American Psychological Association. (2023, March 8). Stress effects on the body. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/body
Heatherton T. F. (2011). Neuroscience of self and self-regulation. Annual review of psychology, 62, 363–390. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.121208.131616
Woo, C. C. and Leon, M. (2013). Environmental enrichment as an effective treatment for autism: a randomized controlled trial.. Behavioral Neuroscience, 127(4), 487-497. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033010
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Self-Regulation who is frequently in the media:
- Healthline Understanding Self-Regulation Skills
- Scary Mommy What Is Self-Regulation In Children, And How Can You Help Improve It?
- HomeschoolOT Therapy Services Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation in Children: A Guide for Homeschool Parents
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Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
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