Does your child’s backpack look like a black hole? Or their room is like a tornado hit it, and every school morning is like a battle?
If that feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents wonder why their bright, capable child can’t seem to stay organized. They could not manage emotions or follow through on tasks.
The good news is that there’s a science-backed way forward: executive functioning skills training.
What Is Executive Functioning Skills Training?
Executive functioning is the brain’s self-management system. It’s a set of skills that helps kids plan, organize, focus, and regulate their emotions. Think of it as the CEO of the brain.
When kids have lagging executive functioning skills, parents often see:
- Forgotten homework and lost items
- Meltdowns over transitions
- Procrastination and unfinished projects
- Constant reminders from adults just to get through the day
Executive functioning skills training provides children with the tools and practice needed to develop independence. It’s not about willpower—it’s about strengthening brain pathways with coaching, structure, and parent support.
Why Do Kids Struggle With Executive Functioning?
It’s easy to think your child is being lazy or defiant. In reality, their nervous system is often dysregulated—making it hard to focus, remember, or calm down (Barkley, 2012).
Behavior is communication. When your child resists cleaning their room or explodes during homework, their brain is telling you it’s overwhelmed.
Underlying reasons include:
- Immature prefrontal cortex (responsible for planning and inhibition)
- Chronic stress, trauma, or anxiety
- ADHD, OCD, autism, or mood disorders
- Sleep, diet, or neuroinflammation issues
- Over-reliance on adults for structure
What Are the Signs My Child Needs Executive Functioning Support?
Parents often describe their kids as “smart but scattered.” Red flags include:
- Losing track of time or belongings
- Struggling to follow multi-step directions
- Meltdowns over small frustrations
- Needing constant reminders to start tasks
- Trouble shifting between activities
Parent story:
Mia, a mom of a 10-year-old with anxiety, dreaded mornings. Her son forgot his homework, lost his shoes, and often had emotional blow-ups before school. Once she understood these weren’t willful behaviors but signs of executive function challenges, she shifted to checklists and calm routines. Mornings went from chaos to manageable.
Can Executive Functioning Skills Really Be Trained?
Yes! These are skills that are learned and grow with practice. Research indicates that structured interventions can improve working memory, planning, and flexibility (Diamond, 2013).
Foundational skills include:
- Working memory (holding information long enough to use it)
- Response inhibition (pausing before reacting)
- Emotional control (calming after big feelings)
- Task initiation (starting without procrastination)
- Flexibility (adapting when plans change)
Which Executive Functioning Programs Work Best for Different Learners?
The best program depends on the child’s needs. A dysregulated brain can’t learn new skills. So, the most effective programs calm the brain first and then teach executive function skills.
Options to Consider
- Skill Coaching: Planning, organization, and time management strategies.
- Regulation-First Programs: Regulation First Parenting or BrainBehaviorReset® to calm the brain first.
- School Supports: Visual schedules, flexible seating, teacher check-ins.
- Therapeutic Interventions: OT, neurofeedback, or counseling when regulation challenges are significant.
Example: A teen with ADHD benefits most when regulation tools like movement breaks are used first. Coaching in organization or time management works better once the brain is calm.
How Do Executive Functioning Skills Develop by Age?
Executive functioning skills don’t appear all at once. They build gradually as a child’s brain matures.
Kids build planning, organization, and self-control little by little as they grow. Each stage brings new skills and challenges. When parents know what’s typical, they can support their child with calm and realistic expectations.
Development by Stage
- Early Childhood (ages 3–5): Simple skills like following routines and basic problem-solving emerge.
- Elementary (ages 6–11): Kids improve in planning and organizing schoolwork.
- Middle School (ages 12–14): More independence shows in goal setting, time management, and flexible thinking.
- High School (ages 15+): Teens refine decision-making, long-term planning, and self-regulation. Although many still need guidance during this stage.
Example: A 7-year-old forgetting homework isn’t lazy. It’s a sign that organizational skills are still developing and need gentle coaching.
Which Assessments (BRIEF2, CEFI, etc.) Help Identify EF Strengths and Weaknesses?
Assessments give parents and professionals a clearer view of how a child’s executive functioning skills are working. They show both strengths and challenges. This makes it easier to choose strategies that actually help.
Common Assessments
- BRIEF2 (Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function): Parent and teacher forms that track real-world issues with focus and self-control.
- CEFI (Comprehensive Executive Function Inventory): Measures areas like attention, planning, and emotion regulation.
- Neuropsychological Testing: Takes a deeper look at learning, memory, and attention. It’s especially helpful when a child’s struggles are more complex.
How Can I Start Executive Functioning Skills Training at Home and School?
Parents can take powerful steps right away:
- Regulate first: Your calm presence co-regulates your child’s brain.
- Start small: Focus on one skill, like task initiation.
- Celebrate micro-wins: Even 10 minutes of independent homework counts.
- Collaborate with teachers: Share strategies to keep home and school consistent.
Parent story:
Sara, mom of a 15-year-old with OCD, was exhausted from micromanaging. Once she introduced visuals and praised micro-wins, her teen began managing chores independently. Their relationship shifted from conflict to cooperation.
How Can Parents and Teachers Track Progress in Executive Functioning Skills?
Progress shows up in small, steady steps. Tracking those changes helps adults know what is working and where support is needed.
Ways to Track Progress
- Checklists and Routines: Mark off tasks to see growth in organization and follow-through.
- Teacher and Parent Notes: Share quick observations on focus, flexibility, and self-control.
- Rating Scales: Use tools like the BRIEF2 or CEFI over time to measure change.
- Celebrating Wins: Notice minor improvements, like finishing homework with less prompting.
Tracking is about noticing growth, not perfection.
How Should Executive Function Training Be Adapted for ADHD, Autism, or Anxiety?
Each child’s brain works differently, so support must be tailored. Calming the nervous system first makes it possible for skills to stick.
Adaptations That Help
- ADHD: Short, clear steps, frequent breaks, and movement to reset focus.
- Autism: Visual supports, predictable routines, and concrete language.
- Anxiety: Calming tools, gentle pacing, and encouragement before new tasks.
What Is the EF ACTION PLAN?
Over three decades, I created the EF ACTION PLAN™ to give kids and parents a clear roadmap:
- A – Assess strengths and challenges
- C – Connect skills to real-world tasks
- T – Train new EF skills step-by-step
- I – Identify microsteps for growth
- O – Optimize performance with feedback
- N – Navigate life with independence
This framework is central to my BrainBehaviorReset® Program. It pairs neurofeedback for brain regulation with parent coaching to break the nag-remind-yell cycle.
There’s Real Hope and You Can Start Today
If your child struggles with organization, attention, or big emotions, remember: it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. With executive functioning skills training, kids can learn to calm their brains, manage tasks, and feel proud of themselves.
You have the power to guide your child toward independence—one calm step at a time.
Get the Executive Functioning Toolkit now and start being the kind of parent you desire to be!
FAQs About Executive Functioning Skills Training
At what age should training start?
Executive functioning develops in early childhood but becomes critical in elementary and middle school. Training can begin in preschool and is effective through the teen years.
Is executive functioning the same as intelligence?
No. A child can be brilliant yet struggle with organization, focus, and planning. EF skills are about how the brain manages tasks—not IQ.
Can executive functioning improve without medication?
Yes. Medication may support attention. But lasting progress requires direct EF skill-building through practice and coaching.
How long does it take to see improvement?
Many families notice changes within 6–12 weeks of consistent practice. Progress happens through small, steady steps.
Citations
Barkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions: What they are, how they work, and why they evolved. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Primary (publisher, shows the 2012 hardcover and later editions): https://www.guilford.com/books/Executive-Functions/Russell-Barkley/9781462545933
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64(1), 135–168. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-113011-143750
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2019). Data and statistics about ADHD. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.
Primary (CDC’s current “Data and Statistics on ADHD” hub; CDC moved this content from the older /ncbddd/ path):
https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/data/index.html
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice, and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regimen. The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment varies by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC, does not guarantee specific results.
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