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206: Behavior Decoded: The Secret Message Behind Your Child's Behavior (Child Psychologist Explains) - Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge Podcast

July 1, 2024
Join our 'Behavior Decoded' series to understand and manage your child's behavior, supporting their emotional and developmental needs effectively and reducing parental frustration.
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[embed]https://player.captivate.fm/episode/82c53472-57af-46d8-832c-e8d5b6e14b66[/embed]If you ever feel like your child’s behavior makes no sense—one moment calm, the next explosive—you’re not alone. It’s not bad parenting; it’s a dysregulated brain.In this episode, I’ll unpack how to decode childhood’s misbehavior. So that you can respond with calm, confidence, and compassion instead of frustration.

Why does my child suddenly “lose it” over small things?

When a child melts down over the wrong cereal bowl or can’t handle a simple “no,” their nervous system is in survival mode, not being defiant. Their brain is screaming, “I’m overwhelmed!”

  • Calm first, then coach. You can’t teach when the brain is on fire.
  • Observe patterns: time of day, hunger, transitions, screen use.
  • Short, calm phrases: “I can see you’re upset. Let’s breathe first.”

Example: After school, your child yells when asked to start homework. The message? Their brain is exhausted. Refuel and rest before demands.

What is childhood’s misbehavior really saying?

Every behavior is communication. Whether it’s refusal, whining, or anger, it’s your child’s way of saying, “Something feels off.” Often, that “something” is anxiety, sensory overload, or fatigue.

  • Be a behavior detective: look for the “why,” not just the “what.”
  • Focus on root causes: stress, nutrition, sleep, and neurodivergence.
  • Support the brain: movement, deep breathing, magnesium, hydration.

How do I respond without yelling or giving in?

You can’t out-yell a dysregulated brain—but you can regulate yours first. Co-regulation is your greatest parenting tool.

  • Lower your voice and slow your breath. Your calm becomes theirs.
  • Validate emotion, not behavior: “You’re frustrated; let’s fix it together.”
  • Offer one regulating choice: water, pressure, or a body break.

Scenario: Your child screams over lost Legos. You kneel, breathe slowly, and whisper, “We’ll find a solution.” That calm presence rewires connection.Yelling less and staying calm isn’t about being perfect—it’s about having the right tools.Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it.Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletter

Do brain-based tools really make a difference?

Absolutely. Techniques like neurofeedback, PEMF, and breathwork teach the brain to self-regulate naturally—no side effects, just stronger control.

  • Practice regulation daily: micro-moments build resilience.
  • Teach simple scripts: “Pause. Breathe. Choose.”
  • Nourish both body and brain: sleep, protein, magnesium support.

Why does my older child struggle with things their younger sibling can do?

Every brain develops differently. Anxiety, ADHD, or sensory issues can delay skills like flexibility, focus, or impulse control—but with the right support, growth happens.

  • Right-size expectations. Meet your child where they are today.
  • Model coping: show, don’t lecture.
  • Reinforce effort, not perfection. 

🗣️ Behavior is the language of children. When we calm ourselves first, we can finally hear what their behavior is trying to say.”Dr. Roseann

Keep Going—It’s Dysregulated Kids

Childhood’s misbehavior isn’t random—it’s a signal. When we regulate first, connection and correction follow naturally. You’re not failing; you’re learning to speak your child’s nervous system language.

Parent Q&A: Understanding Childhood’s Misbehavior

What causes childhood misbehavior?

Usually, a dysregulated nervous system is from stress, fatigue, or anxiety, not bad parenting.

How can I decode my child’s behavior?

Observe patterns, stay calm, and look for unmet needs behind the outburst.

Do natural tools like neurofeedback and PEMF work?

Yes, they help retrain the brain for calmer, more consistent regulation.Tired of not knowing what’s really going on with your child?The Solution Matcher gives you a personalized recommendation based on your child’s behavior—not just a label. It’s free, takes just a few minutes, and shows you the best next step. Go to www.drroseann.com/help

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Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge: Revolutionizing Children’s Mental Health

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge’s podcast, It’s Gonna be OK!™: Science-Backed Solutions for Children’s Behavior and Mental Health, is in the top 2% globally. The podcast empowers parents with natural, science-backed solutions to improve children’s self-regulation and calm their brains. Each episode delivers expert advice and practical strategies, making it indispensable for parents of neurodivergent children or those with behavioral or mental health challenges.

Dr. Roseann, founder of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health and Dr. Roseann, LLC, created the Neurotastic™ Brain Formulas and BrainBehaviorReset® method. With her extensive experience, she provides families with hope and effective strategies to manage conditions like ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and PANS/PANDAS.

Forbes has called her “A thought leader in children’s mental health,” highlighting her revolutionary impact on mental health education and treatment. Through her podcast and innovative methods, Dr. Roseann continues to transform how we approach, treat and understand children’s mental health.
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