Negativity never feels right, but sometimes it is just too pervasive that it sneaks into moments of our lives, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions. And sometimes, this negativity sticks with us for a long period of time and creates a destructive cycle that entails far-reaching consequences for our mental and emotional well-being.
Breaking this cycle is not just about today; it's about ending the generational negativity bias that affects many families and friends we know. This episode empowers us to lead a more positive, fulfilling, and resilient existence by helping us understand important aspects as to why some people are so negative.
Inherited traits and their impact on negativity.
Patience is a crucial aspect that we have to take into consideration in our journey to break the negativity cycle. We also need to acknowledge the fact that sometimes, the negativity cycle is because of our own brain or even our family history. That is why it is vital for us to foster a generational shift.
Often, we get trapped in the idea that everything is genetic or linked to neurotransmitters due to the influence of the pharmaceutical industry. But the truth is, we inherit behaviors from our families daily, particularly when it comes to parenting styles and negative biases in our thinking and communication. Fortunately, I grew up with parents who instilled a positive attitude in me, which reflects in how I approach life without fear.
Temperament plays a significant role in shaping how we perceive the world. However, it’s important to note that there are also clinical issues that can cloud one's perspective and hinder positive thinking. For instance, when your system is on high alert due to stress or clinical conditions like OCD or PAN's, it's more challenging to think clearly.
Additionally, hormonal changes and the natural process of pulling away during different developmental stages contribute to negativity in some cases. It all boils down to a complex interplay of various factors which is why understanding these dynamics is key to breaking the negativity cycle.
Negative thinking and sensitivity in children with ADHD.
When we talk about a consistently negative kid, it's not just occasional negativity; it's their default mode. Dealing with a negative child can be challenging, as everything seems to trigger their fear and negativity bias.
Negativity bias is like a roadblock that kids get stuck in, and as a parent or caregiver, you have to find ways to navigate around it. Some individuals also have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) which is a condition where they are hypersensitive to real or perceived criticism or any form of rejection. If you've encountered a child with RSD, you know how even the slightest comment can lead to pushback or agitation. These are highly sensitive individuals, and it's worth noting that 70% of individuals with ADHD, spanning all age groups, experience RSD.
However, it's important to remember that having conditions like RSD, OCD, or depression doesn't excuse or justify negative behavior. We should continue to strive in addressing these challenges while still fostering positive interactions and attitudes.
Managing stress and anxiety through intentional practices.
Sharing your calmness with your kids is vital but this requires deliberate practice. And so, you need to find ways to regulate your own nervous system, whether it's through practices like breathwork, prayer, or yoga. Dedicating at least 10 minutes a day doing this is essential. The good news is that we’re releasing a magnesium line called ‘Multi-Mag Brain Formula’ designed to help calm the nervous system.
Role modeling is another essential aspect as it involves not only sharing your calm but demonstrating to your kids how to deal with irritations or challenging situations. It is a continuous process, and how you manage your own stress, especially in response to in-law comments or similar situations, is equally crucial. Remember that your children pay closer attention to your behavior than to your words.
Parenting negative kids and self-care.
One of the most crucial suggestions I can provide is to purposefully nurture a strong bond with your kids, especially if they’re extremely negative. It's also crucial to spend quality time with them and avoid getting into fact-fighting with them when they're in a negative state.
Connection can be established through non-verbal means as well, like sitting close while watching a movie. Pleasant conversations may be challenging with a highly abrasive child, but it's important to find those moments, as your child needs you as a safe and supportive presence.
Of course, it's okay to feel irritated or want a break from your child at times, but it's equally important to work on yourself. Seek moments of connection and be a positive role model. You have to understand that your child isn't intentionally negative; they may be stuck in that behavior.
Start with working on your own calm, so you can share it with your child. Remember that we all have our moments of negativity, and it's essential to be kind to ourselves. Having a supportive community and seeking help is valuable when dealing with such challenges.
For more information, you can check out the following blog posts:
● Nixing the Negativity Bias in Our Kids and Parenting
● Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD
● 11 Emotional Regulation Activities for Children
● How to Deal With Emotional Dysregulation
Links and Resources:
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