Mindfulness Strategies: How to Help with Executive Functioning Skills in Children

Imagine this: A peaceful home, where dinner is calm and relaxing, and no WWE-style sibling wrestling match unfolds in the living room. Sounds dreamy, right? For many parents of children with executive functioning (EF) issues, achieving this kind of harmony feels as rare as a unicorn sighting! The daily struggle of managing their child’s disorganization and emotional outbursts can leave anyone feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. But there are very simple ways to improve executive function, and it's not about popping a pill. Mindfulness training is an easy, effective way that can make a difference in your kids and even in you as a family.

What Is Executive Function?

Executive functioning skills are controlled by the brain’s frontal lobe. These skills are the ones related to focus and organization. Some people seem to always have their lives in order, with the perfect lists and the perfect schedules. These people are the ones with strong executive functioning skills.

Some people, often those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (“ADHD”), have a hard time focusing, managing time, switching focus, and controlling their impulses. These people have problems with EF skills. While it may be easy to dismiss them as “flighty,” that is not the case at all.

Signs of Executive Dysfunction

Recognizing the signs of executive dysfunction is crucial for providing the right support. Children with executive dysfunction may struggle in various areas, and these challenges can manifest in different ways. Here are some common indicators to watch for:

• Difficulty with Self-Regulation: Trouble managing their emotions, impulses, and behaviors. This can lead to frequent outbursts or difficulty calming down after being upset.
  
  
• Trouble with Planning and Organization: Tasks that require planning and organization, such as homework or getting ready for school, can be particularly challenging. Children might often forget assignments or lose track of their belongings.
  
  
• Struggling with Working Memory: Remembering instructions, following directions, and completing tasks can be difficult. For example, one might forget what they were supposed to do right after being told.
  
  
• Difficulty with Cognitive Flexibility: Adapting to changes in routine or unexpected events can be hard. They might become very upset if their usual schedule is disrupted.
  
  
• Trouble with Inhibition Control: Managing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can be a struggle. This might manifest as speaking out of turn or acting impulsively.
  
  
• Struggling with Self-Monitoring: Keeping track of their own progress and performance can be difficult. They might not realize they are falling behind on a project until it’s too late.
  
  
• Difficulty with Self-Evaluation: Assessing their own strengths and weaknesses can be challenging. They might either overestimate their abilities or feel overly critical of themselves.
  
  
• Trouble with Goal-Setting and Achieving: Setting and working towards long-term goals can be particularly tough.

By recognizing these signs, parents and caregivers can take proactive steps to support their children and help them develop stronger executive functioning skills.

How Does Daily Stress Impact Executive Function Skills?

Research consistently proves that even daily stress can cause executive function problems. One 2006 study on daily stress and cognition noted that stress negatively impacted working memory and reduced response times in the sample (Sliwinski et al., 2006). When the brain is trying to negotiate too many incoming data points, it has a hard time organizing and regulating.

Daily stress can exacerbate executive dysfunction symptoms, particularly in children with conditions like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder. Even children experience daily stress. Between school, homework, and extracurricular activities, they are busier than ever. With kids being pulled in so many directions, their lives are stressful. They may not be paying bills or mortgages, but considering their brains are still developing, this is a lot of input.

When students are experiencing high levels of stress, their prefrontal cortex goes “offline,” and the primitive brain functions of fight-flight-freeze come “online.” The nervous system must be settled to access reasoning, communication, and conflict resolution skills, in addition to other executive functions. Because the brain reacts to stress in its environment, mindfulness meditation improves executive functioning by helping to control the incoming information. Because stress greatly impacts the nervous system, mindfulness strategies are essential for managing it

How Can Executive Dysfunction Cause Emotional Dysregulation?

Regulating one’s emotions can be a challenge for those with Executive Function issues and ADHD. Emotional Regulation refers to a person’s ability to understand and accept his or her emotional experience, to engage in healthy strategies to manage uncomfortable emotions when necessary and to engage in appropriate behavior when distressed.

Targeting specific executive functions, such as working memory and impulse control, through interventions like cognitive training and neurofeedback can help manage emotional dysregulation. However, having a mindful practice can be a quick and easy relief for bouts of anxiety and inattention. 

Kids with executive functioning issues are required to navigate daily tasks and responsibilities with success. When they are overwhelmed by the amount of information coming into their brains, their brains start to shut down. In other words, when our brain is under stress, a typical response is fight, flight, or freeze.

Understanding Mindfulness

Mindfulness, as defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor, author, and developer of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, is “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

Being mindful means becoming aware and attentive to what is happening around you, as well as what is happening in your own mind and body. Therefore, mindfulness-based strategies will naturally settle the nervous system and create a sense of relaxation and calm.  

Through meditation, one increases Alpha brain waves, which results in decreased stress, anxiety, and depression, lower blood pressure, improved immune function, decreased pain, increased memory, executive function and attention, and increased grey matter.

Executive Dysfunction Functions and Mindfulness Solutions

Mindfulness practices have been shown to significantly improve executive functioning skills in individuals of all ages. By focusing on the present moment without judgment, mindfulness can enhance various executive functions, making it a powerful tool for people struggling with these skills.

Breathing Exercises: Techniques like box breathing can improve working memory by calming the brain and improving focus. For example, a child can practice inhaling for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding again for four. This helps them center their thoughts and better remember instructions.

Yoga Poses: Doing poses like tree pose or downward dog enhances cognitive flexibility by challenging children to balance and focus, helping them adjust to changes and new situations more easily. Yoga practice enhances physical and mental well-being by improving flexibility, strength, and stress management through mindful movement and breath control.

Body Scan Meditation: This practice strengthens inhibitory control by teaching children to focus on different parts of their body, helping them become aware of impulses and pause before reacting impulsively. To practice Body Scan Meditation, lie down or sit comfortably and systematically focus your attention on each part of your body, from head to toe, noticing any sensations or tension without judgment.

Guided Visualization: Using guided imagery helps with emotional regulation by encouraging children to visualize calming scenes, like a peaceful beach or forest, which helps them manage emotions and stress more effectively.

Emotional dysregulation or “meltdowns”

Emotional dysregulation describes when one exhibits an emotional response that is poorly modulated, often an overreaction that is outside of what is normally expected. When children’s brains are overwhelmed, the mechanisms underlying emotional regulation shut down, leading to “meltdowns.” Despite looking the same as a tantrum, a “meltdown” is a different beast. One way to think about this is “Going into the red.” The person’s emotions cause them to shut down. They are lost in the emotional and mental chaos.i. Once in the “red”, kids are often unreachable and unresponsive to parenting techniques or logic.

Mindfulness Strategy: Grounding Exercise
When a child is on the verge of a meltdown, a grounding exercise can help bring them back to the present moment and out of the emotional chaos. Teach your child to focus on their senses with the “5-4-3-2-1” technique: Identify 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. This exercise helps to calm their mind and shift their focus away from overwhelming emotions, making it easier to manage the meltdown.

Focus and attention

Kids with compromised executive functioning skills often appear to be inattentive. Think of all the times you’ve screamed. Are you listening to me?!” Despite yelling at the top of your lungs, your young ones seem to be ignoring you in lieu of that television show/book/video game. While it may seem that your kid is ignoring you, it’s also possible that your child is having a hard time organizing information.

Various strategies and interventions, such as cognitive training, physical activities, and mindfulness, can help improve executive function and attention issues.

Kids may feel constantly reprimanded (because they aren’t listening!!!). Meanwhile, you are totally stressed out by the incessant nagging needed for your child to complete simple tasks like brushing their teeth. It is hard to be a child’s frontal lobes, but also challenging to be a loving parent who is able to keep their stuff together!

Mindfulness Strategy: Mindful Listening
Encourage your child to practice mindful listening by focusing on specific sounds in their environment. For instance, have them close their eyes and listen for the sound of a ticking clock, birds chirping, or even their own breath. This practice trains their brain to tune into a single stimulus, improving their ability to concentrate and focus on the present moment. Over time, mindful listening can help them become more attentive and better at organizing information.

Task Incompletion

Repeating yourself time and again often frustrates moms and dads more than any of the other behaviors associated with executive function issues. Think of all the times you’ve said, “How many times have I asked you to…!” You know you’re a parent of a child who lacks executive function if you’re nodding your head in solidarity.  In the same way that focusing, attention, and meltdown can be triggered by daily stress, so can task incompletion.

Tailored interventions, considering each child's unique strengths and vulnerabilities, can significantly improve executive functions, particularly in kids with ADHD and autism spectrum disorder.

Someone who lacks EF skills is challenged when asked to shift their attention from one task to another. They also find it difficult to sustain their attention during less desirable tasks. They tend to hyperfocus on a preferred task (e.g., Legos, iPad, etc). When asked to move on to another, they lack the self-regulation skills to do so, and there lies the heart of the battle.

Mindfulness Strategy: Visualization and Goal Setting
Use visualization techniques to help your child mentally rehearse completing a task before starting it. Guide them through a short meditation where they close their eyes and imagine each step of the task, from beginning to end. For example, if the task is brushing their teeth, they would visualize themselves walking to the bathroom, picking up the toothbrush, applying toothpaste, brushing thoroughly, and rinsing. This mental practice can enhance their executive functioning skills by providing a clear, structured path to follow, making it easier to complete tasks without getting stuck or distracted.

How can mindfulness improve executive dysfunction deficits?  

Mindfulness activities and strategies are known to enhance executive function skills, which are crucial cognitive abilities that help manage tasks such as planning, memory, and self-regulation. According to Mindful Schools, children who use mindfulness in the classroom experience increased access to the functions of the prefrontal cortex and are better learners as a result. Since the prefrontal cortex controls organization and self-regulation, children who can access this area more easily can focus on work more effectively.

Simple strategies such as mindful breathing, mindful listening, or doing a body scan can be done in 1 to 2 minutes, and these strategies bring about immediate positive effects on executive functioning.

How does mindfulness help with ADHD?

Mindfulness is not meant to be a “cure” for diagnoses such as ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorders.  Mindfulness strategies have been proven by research to decrease anxiety and emotional reactivity, improve attention, and help children become more able to handle daily challenges and choose their behavior.  

In one recent study, Hwang and colleagues (Journal of Child and Family Studies, 2015) studied families who underwent an 8-week mindfulness program and found that it led to an increase in the quality of family life, a reduction of stress in parents, and a reduction of anxiety and thought problems in children with ASD.  

Our office has used mindfulness techniques with children with ADHD and ASD diagnoses with a great degree of success.  For children who are “sensory” (both hyper-sensitive or sensory seeking), many are drawn to the experiential and sensation-based elements of mindfulness strategies.  

One of the fantastic benefits of teaching mindfulness to children is that you are actually teaching them how to notice and gently change their thoughts and emotions on their own. This builds their capacity to stay regulated and focused for longer periods of time.

Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

Mindfulness practices are incredibly effective in improving emotional regulation, which is essential for managing stress and maintaining a positive outlook. Here are some ways mindfulness can help:

• Reducing Stress and Anxiety: Practices like meditation and deep breathing can significantly reduce stress and anxiety by training the brain to relax and focus. For example, a few minutes of deep breathing can help a child calm down before a big test or after a stressful day.
  
  
• Improving Mood: Loving-kindness meditation, which involves focusing on positive emotions and sending goodwill to oneself and others, can improve mood and foster a sense of happiness and contentment.
  
  
• Increasing Self-Awareness: Mindfulness meditation helps increase self-awareness by training the brain to recognize and understand emotions and thoughts. This heightened awareness allows children to better understand their feelings and reactions.
  
  
• Enhancing Emotional Resilience: Practices like yoga and tai chi can enhance emotional resilience by teaching children to adapt to challenging situations and bounce back from adversity. These activities promote a sense of balance and inner strength.

By incorporating mindfulness into their daily lives, children can develop better emotional regulation skills, leading to improved mental and physical health.

Practical Strategies for Parents

You play a crucial role in helping their children develop strong executive functioning skills. Here are some practical strategies that can make a significant difference

We have to take a gentle, nonjudgmental peek in the mirror and ask ourselves, are we taking a few moments throughout the day to be mindful?  Remember, we model for our children constantly.  If you have not made the time to bring mindfulness-based activities and strategies into your home, now is the time to do so.  

There are many resources out there that have been developed to help children of all ages and moms and dads practice mindfulness in a way that is fun and interesting.  One of my favorite resources is “Sitting Still Like a Frog” by Eline Snel.  It is a little gem of a book that comes with a guided exercises CD.  The mindfulness exercises can be done alone or with your children.  Here are some other helpful books on mindfulness:

– A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh

–Master of Mindfulness: How To Be Your Own Superhero in Times of Stress by Laurie Grossman

–Moody Cow Meditates by Kerry Lee Maclean

–Peaceful Piggy Meditation by Kerry Lee Maclean

–Sea Otter Cove: a Relaxation Story by Lori Lite

–I think, I am! By Louise Hay

–Unstoppable Me! 10 Ways to Soar Through Life by Wayne Dyer

–Mindfulness and Yoga Skills for Children and Adolescents by Barbara Neiman

Creating moments between the episodes of chaos and craziness in life to practice mindfulness will, over time, make those episodes more tolerable…and you and your children will enjoy the benefits of improved executive functioning.  

Establishing Routines and Structure

Creating a structured environment can help develop essential executive functioning skills such as planning, organization, and time management. Here are some ways to establish routines and structure:

• Creating a Daily Schedule: Develop a daily schedule that includes set times for meals, homework, and activities. This helps kids to know what to expect and when to reduce anxiety and improve time management.
  
  
• Setting Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate expectations for behavior and the consequences for not meeting those expectations. Consistency is key to helping kids and teens understand and follow the rules.
  
  
• Using Visual Aids: Visual aids, such as charts and diagrams, can help in understanding and following routines. For example, a morning routine chart can remind the steps they need to take to get ready for school.
• Encouraging Independence: Encourage your kids to take ownership of their routines and make choices about how to manage their time. This fosters a sense of responsibility and self-reliance.

Setting Clear Goals and Providing Feedback

Helping teens and kids set clear goals and providing regular feedback can significantly enhance their executive functioning skills. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Setting Specific Goals: Set specific, achievable goals, such as improving grades or completing tasks on time. Break these goals down into smaller, manageable steps.
  
  
• Providing Regular Feedback: Offer regular feedback on your child’s progress, praising their efforts and providing constructive suggestions for improvement. This helps them stay motivated and on track.
  
  
• Encouraging Self-Reflection: Encourage reflection on their own progress and set goals for themselves. This promotes self-awareness and helps them take ownership of their development.
  
  
• Using Positive Reinforcement: Use positive reinforcement, such as rewards and praise, to encourage them to meet their goals. Celebrating successes, no matter how small, can boost confidence and motivation.

By implementing these strategies, you can support them in developing strong executive function skills, leading to greater success and independence.

To learn more about mindfulness techniques, read my blog: Mindfulness techniques.

If you are battling attention and focus issues, I created the Executive Functioning Parent Toolkit based on what I’ve seen work in my practice in my Ridgefield, CT Clinic. Start today and watch your child’s behavior improve in just 30 days. This toolkit offers practical, step-by-step strategies that can help you and your child build better habits and routines. Click here to learn more.