As parents, it’s natural to focus on your child’s behavior when they’re struggling. But what if the real issue isn’t just about their behavior? What if the root of their challenges lies deeper—within their nervous system?
When the nervous system is out of balance, it can affect everything from emotions to focus to physical well-being. By understanding the connection between a dysregulated nervous system and your child’s symptoms, you’ll gain powerful insights into what’s driving their struggles—and more importantly, how to help them thrive. Let’s explore how you can move past the frustration of behavior and uncover solutions that truly make a difference.
Understanding the Nervous System
The nervous system is a complex communication network responsible for regulating everything from your child’s emotions and behaviors to their ability to manage stress. It operates in two primary states:
- The parasympathetic (regulated) state – This is the “rest and digest” state, where your child feels calm, safe, and able to process emotions and handle everyday stressors effectively.
- The sympathetic (stress-dominant) state – Also known as the “fight, flight, or freeze” state, this occurs when the nervous system is on high alert, making it difficult for your child to self-regulate.
When a child’s nervous system is dysregulated, they often struggle to respond to everyday stressors appropriately. This can result in behaviors that seem disproportionate to the situation, making it hard for both children and parents to navigate everyday life.
Some common signs of a dysregulated nervous system in children include:
- Restlessness and hyperactivity – Constant fidgeting or an inability to stay still.
- Difficulty focusing – Struggles to maintain attention even on tasks they enjoy.
- Emotional outbursts – Intense, sudden reactions to minor frustrations or setbacks.
- Heightened sensitivity – Overreacting to sensory input like loud noises, bright lights, or physical touch.
Recognizing these signs is the first step toward understanding your child’s nervous system and finding the right strategies to help them return to balance.
What Causes Nervous System Dysregulation?
Nervous system dysregulation doesn’t happen in isolation; it’s often the result of a combination of factors that impact how a child’s brain and body respond to stress. Some of the most common causes include:
- Birth trauma – Early physical stress during delivery or complications at birth can influence how the nervous system develops, potentially leading to long-term imbalances.
- Genetic predispositions – A child’s unique genetic makeup may make them more prone to heightened stress sensitivity or difficulties with self-regulation.
- Environmental triggers – Exposure to chemicals, toxins, mold, or even chronic noise can disrupt nervous system functioning and overall health.
- Family dynamics – A chaotic home environment, emotional stress, or a dysregulated parent can intensify a child’s nervous system challenges.
Understanding these root causes is essential for reframing the way we view a child’s behavior. Instead of seeing it as “bad” or “intentional,” we can recognize it as a symptom of deeper issues that require attention and support. This perspective empowers parents to focus on solutions that address the real problem rather than just the outward behavior.
Recognizing Symptoms of a Dysregulated Nervous System
When a child’s nervous system is out of balance, the effects can ripple through every aspect of their life—physically, emotionally, and cognitively. These symptoms can often feel like pieces of a puzzle, and understanding how they connect is the first step toward providing meaningful support.
Children with a dysregulated nervous system may exhibit a range of symptoms that affect their daily lives:
- Physical symptoms: Chronic pain, digestive issues, sleep disturbances.
- Emotional symptoms: Anxiety, mood swings, irritability, and feelings of overwhelm.
- Cognitive symptoms: Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts, forgetfulness.
These symptoms often overlap, creating a cycle that can further strain your child’s ability to cope. For example, a child dealing with constant headaches or sleep disturbances may also struggle with irritability and difficulty focusing.
By identifying these interconnected signs, you can better understand what your child is experiencing and take the first steps toward finding effective solutions to support their nervous system regulation.
How to Calm a Child’s Nervous System
A dysregulated nervous system can make it hard for your child to manage emotions, focus, or cope with daily challenges. The good news is, with the right strategies, you can help them find balance and calm. Supporting your child’s nervous system isn’t just about addressing their behaviors—it’s about giving them the tools to feel safe, secure, and in control. Here’s how you can make a difference.
Helping your child achieve a balanced and regulated nervous system requires patience, consistency, and a thoughtful approach. Here are some practical and effective strategies:
- Co-regulation – Children often take emotional cues from their parents. By modeling calm and regulated behavior, you create a sense of safety and security that helps your child regulate their own emotions.
- Identify triggers – Pay attention to patterns in your child’s behavior. Are there specific situations, environments, or stimuli that lead to dysregulation? Understanding these triggers allows you to proactively reduce or manage them.
- Provide consistent support – Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s small victories. Reinforcing positive behaviors builds their confidence and encourages them to practice self-regulation over time.
- Teach coping skills – Equip your child with tools to manage stress, such as mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or sensory activities like squeezing a stress ball or wrapping themselves in a weighted blanket.
- Seek professional guidance – If your child continues to struggle, consider reaching out to a professional. They can provide personalized strategies and interventions to support your child’s unique needs.
By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can help your child find balance, improve their self-regulation skills, and build resilience.
The Impact of a Dysregulated Nervous System
When a child’s nervous system is out of balance, it can ripple through every part of their life—affecting how they feel, learn, and connect with others. Struggles with focus, frequent emotional outbursts, or even shutting down can lead to challenges in school, difficulty making friends, and feelings of frustration or failure. For parents, it can be heartbreaking to watch your child struggle and not know how to help.
But here’s the thing—your child’s behaviors aren’t intentional or meant to frustrate you. They’re signals that something deeper is going on. When we see these behaviors as expressions of discomfort or distress, it allows us to respond with empathy rather than frustration. This shift in perspective is the first step toward helping your child feel supported, safe, and ready to thrive.
Next Steps
Your child’s nervous system development plays a critical role in their overall well-being. By understanding the signs of a dysregulated nervous system in children and implementing strategies to help them regulate, you can foster a healthier emotional and physical environment for your child. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection.
With patience and the right tools, you can help your child navigate their world with confidence and ease.
If you’re looking for more personalized guidance, take our solution matcher to get the right solution right now.
Citations:
Schaaf RC, Miller LJ, Seawell D, O’Keefe S. Children with disturbances in sensory processing: a pilot study examining the role of the parasympathetic nervous system. Am J Occup Ther. 2003 Jul-Aug;57(4):442-9. doi: 10.5014/ajot.57.4.442
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Self-Regulation who frequently is in the media:
- Healthline Understanding Self-Regulation Skills
- Scary Mommy What Is Self-Regulation In Children, And How Can You Help Improve It?
- The Warrior Parent Podcast It’s Gonna Be OK! Changing Behaviors and Responses (And The Magic of Magnesium)In Your Family with Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
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Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Licensed Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of media outlets including The Mel Robbins Show, CBS, NBC, PIX11 NYC, Today, FORBES, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider, Women’s Day, Healthline, CNET, Parade Magazine and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.”
She coined the terms, “Re-entry panic syndrome” and “eco-anxiety” and is a frequent contributor to media on mental health.
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge has three decades of experience in working with children, teens and their families with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, concussion, dyslexia and learning disability, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), depression and mood disorder, Lyme Disease, and PANS/PANDAS using science-backed natural mental health solutions such as supplements, magnesium, nutrition, QEEG Brain maps, neurofeedback, PEMF, psychotherapy and other non-medication approaches.
She is the author of three bestselling books, It’s Gonna Be OK!: Proven Ways to Improve Your Child’s Mental Health, The Teletherapy Toolkit, and Brain Under Attack. Dr. Roseann is known for offering a message of hope through science-endorsed methods that promote a calm brain.
Her trademarked BrainBehaviorResetⓇ Program and It’s Gonna be OK!Ⓡ Podcast has been a cornerstone for thousands of parents facing mental health, behavioral or neurodevelopmental challenges.
She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health, Neurotastic™Brain Formulas and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Mental Health Professional (CIMHP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach. She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF).
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