Is it ADHD or something else?

45: How to Love Your Child but not Accept Their Behavior

Sometimes, no matter how hard parents try keeping their frustration in check, they get overwhelmed because of their children’s behaviors which trigger their outbursts.

Sometimes, no matter how hard parents try keeping their frustration in check, they get overwhelmed because of their children’s behaviors which trigger their outbursts.

For today’s episode, we’ll be tackling how to properly balance your feelings and emotions towards your children and their behaviors and still manage to maintain a connection with them.

How do we still stay connected to our children when they are struggling?

Staying connected with your child can be quite challenging sometimes. It can also be frustrating or even scary as it can trigger some experiences of your own.

As we all know, it’s not easy having a child with mental health issues, behavioral issues or learning issues.You’re always going to hear me say that lotuses grow in mud. And like two sides of a coin, there will always be a blessing and a hardship. It’s not always fun and games.

But what you have to understand is that you need to give yourself some grace. You’re never going to be perfect as you face such a challenging journey, especially when your child is struggling or pushing you away.

Your child is not a tyrant.

No one really is ever prepared to be parents. Even supposing that there are people who are trained to be parents, they’re still going to experience conflicts with their children.

What we have to do then is to share our calm and peace with our children because otherwise, you’re going to end up reactivating your child’s behaviors which frustrate you.

However, you have to take into consideration the situation of your child. He or she is not being a tyrant but rather, it’s the behavior which is concerning. They’re not doing it on purpose. It’s whatever is going on in their brain.

Don’t try to address these behaviors in a heated moment. What’s happening is that their brain is activating and their behaviors are getting stuck. That’s why it’s necessary for us to take care of ourselves to be better role models for our children.

Don’t feel pressured to have big conversations. 

Having an open and healthy communication between you and your child is important. Let them know when you’re not in a good place to deal with their behavior or when you need to calm down. Although, you have to reassure them that when you’ve calmed down, you’re gonna address everything.

Setting limitations or boundaries is not such a bad thing. I find that the most frustrating point for parents is that when their children don’t have stress tolerance, they’re always looking for the parents to manage it for them. This is the key to mental health – addressing the issues of your child as regards their stress management and tolerance.

I highly recommend seeking help if you’re really struggling to get along with your child. Continue staying connected with your child and build more engagement.

Links and Resources:

➡️ Join our FREE Natural Parenting Community to receive science-backed resources for your child and family. Join here.

➡️ Get help from Dr. Roseann and her team. Apply here. 

➡️ “Is it ADHD or something else?” Take the quiz. 

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147 Therapist-Endorsed

Self-Regulation Strategies

for Children

A Practical Guide For Parents

147 therapist endorsed self-regulation strategies for children a practical guide for parents
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