Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
It’s 8 a.m., emotions are intense, and your child or your student is already undone before the day even begins.
What if the missing piece to lasting calm isn’t more rules or consequences, but a steady adult who stays grounded with them?
Co-regulation in the classroom is more than a feel-good phrase; it’s the evidence-backed way to help kids move from fight-or-flight to a learning-ready state.
Recent classroom studies show that when teachers stay present and calm, students are more likely to re-engage in learning and less likely to spiral into bigger emotional outbursts (Kostøl & Mänty, 2024).
In this article, I’ll help you unpack what co-regulation can look like in real life, clear up common concerns, and help educators and parents feel confident and hopeful in their role as the calming anchor.
What is Co-Regulation in The Classroom?
Co-regulation in the classroom happens when a teacher uses their calm presence, steady tone, and supportive responses to help students manage big emotions. Instead of reacting with frustration, the teacher models self-control so students can begin to settle.
This isn’t about lowering expectations or ignoring behavior. It’s about creating the emotional stability students need before they can return to learning. For children who struggle with stress, anxiety, or past difficult experiences, a teacher’s ability to co-regulate builds trust and sets the stage for lasting positive behavior change within the classroom.
Research confirms this: teachers who balance emotional attunement with consistent boundaries help students build the internal skills they need to self-regulate over time (Kostøl & Cameron, 2021).
Is Co-Regulation in the Classroom Rewarding Misbehavior?
Not at all. Calming a student doesn’t negate consequences, it sets the stage for teaching them. When educators focus on emotional validation and connection first, they help students feel understood and safe enough to shift behaviors intentionally.
That’s how real discipline happens, not from fear, but from trust and clarity.
For example, if a student slams their book shut and refuses to start an assignment, the teacher doesn’t simply overlook the behavior. Instead, the teacher might take a calm breath, lower their voice, and say, “I can see you’re really frustrated right now. Let’s take a minute together before we get back to this.”
By staying regulated, the teacher prevents escalation, shows the student how to handle big feelings, and then once the student is calmer, guides them back to the task and follows through with expectations.
This way, co-regulation addresses the behavior without ignoring it, while also teaching emotional skills that support long-term self-regulation.
How Calm Corners and Feeling Thermometers Work in Classrooms
These tools offer students time and space to pause and for adults to join them there calmly.
Calm corners: A sensory-supported space with soft lighting, weighted tools, or visuals, where teachers can co-regulate alongside a student.
Calm Corner Ideas for Classrooms:
| Soft seating | beanbags, cushions, or a small rug to create a cozy space. |
| Weighted items | lap pads, small weighted animals, or blankets for grounding. |
| Visuals | emotion charts, breathing posters, or a “feelings thermometer.” Feeling thermometers: Visual check-ins that help students name and observe their emotional state. Teachers can model their own feelings too—“I’m noticing my voice feels tight, I’m going to breathe with you.” |
| Fidgets | stress balls, putty, or quiet sensory tools to release energy. |
| Soothing visuals | glitter jars, sand timers, or calm-down coloring sheets. |
| Noise control | headphones or a white noise machine for sensory-sensitive students. |
| Connection tools | a small basket of reflection cards or affirmations a teacher can read with the student. |
These calm corners aren’t “time-out” spaces—they’re co-regulation spaces. The teacher’s presence and gentle guidance are what make them effective.
These strategies act as bridges, so kids can move from overwhelmed to ready to engage.
Will Co-Regulation Work for Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and Neurodiverse Needs
Absolutely. Co-regulation is especially powerful for neurodiverse students who may lack internal self-calming tools. It doesn’t mean smoothing over differences—it means scaffolding emotional regulation until those skills develop.
Co-Regulation Strategies for Neurodiverse Students:
- Use clear, calm language: Short, concrete phrases like “Let’s take a breath together” or “We can slow down” prevent overwhelm.
- Model self-regulation: Teachers narrating their own calming strategies (“I feel my body tensing, so I’m going to stretch”) gives students a blueprint.
- Offer movement breaks: Stretching, wall push-ups, or a quick walk regulate nervous systems—especially for ADHD.
- Pair co-regulation with visuals: Visual timers, breathing posters, or cue cards help students anchor attention.
- Build predictable routines: Transitions and consistent expectations reduce anxiety triggers.
- Use sensory tools together: Breathing into a pinwheel, shaking a glitter jar, or squeezing a fidget side by side reinforces regulation.
- Celebrate effort, not perfection: Acknowledge when a student tries to use a calming strategy, even if they need more support.
When to Expect Self-Regulation After Co-Regulation
There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline—it depends on the child, consistency, and environment. But research and classroom observations show that, slowly and steadily, students begin to internalize calm through repeated co-regulated interactions (Kostøl, 2025).
Over time, emotional regulation becomes more automatic and integrated—just like building any other skill.
What to Do When Co-Regulation Strategies Aren’t Working
If calm corners or breathing strategies fall short, educators can:
- Reflect on relationship quality—is there enough trust or safety?
- Use visual or verbal cues, gentle proximity, or logical consequences to shift behavior quickly.
- Consider whole-class strategies that support regulation—like the Good Behavior Game, proven to reduce reactive behavior and improve regulation in days or weeks.
- Evaluate their own readiness and self-efficacy—training in culturally responsive approaches often boosts educators’ ability to co-regulate effectively.
Dr. Roseann’s Therapist Tip
In my 30+ years of clinical practice, I’ve learned that co-regulation becomes most powerful when adults show calm even before chaos. Here’s what I tell parents and teachers: ground yourself with three slow deep breaths before responding to dysregulation.
Why it works: your brain’s calm state sends a signal your child’s brain can mirror.
Try this today: pause, breathe, show up calm—model regulation before communicating. Remember—it’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain needing a calm anchor. It’s gonna be OK.
Brain Science Spotlight
Recent research underscores that when adults co-regulate, their calm presence helps shift children’s brains out of reactive survival mode and into a learning-ready state. In classrooms, when teachers sustain warm relationships in secure, structured environments, self-regulation skills flourish.
What this means for your classroom: co-regulation isn’t a softness. It’s a strategic reset—literally calming the brain first—so your student can regulate, reflect, and reengage.
FAQs for Coregulation in the Classroom
What is co-regulation, and how is it different from self-regulation?
Co-regulation is when a calm adult “lends” their steadiness so a child can settle. Over time, kids internalize those skills and begin to self-regulate on their own.
What tools work best for co-regulation in classrooms
Calm corners, feeling thermometers, and simple breathing tools work wonders—especially when paired with a teacher’s calm presence and gentle coaching.
Why is co-regulation better than traditional discipline?
Because calm and connection change behavior more than fear ever could. When kids feel safe and understood, they’re able to learn, grow, and make better choices.
Citations
Kostøl, E. and Manty, K. (2024). Co-regulating the child’s emotions in the classroom: teachers’ interpretations of and decision-making in emotional situations. Int. J. Educ. Res. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijer.2024.102390.
Kostøl, E. and Cameron, D. (2020). Teachers’ responses to children in emotional distress: a study of co-regulation in the first year of primary school in Norway. Int. J. Prim. Educ. Early Years Educ., 49(7):821-831. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004279.2020.1800062.
Kostøl, E. (2025). Teachers’ co-regulation in classrooms: a video-based analysis of teachers’ foci of attention in emotional situations. J. Early Childhood Teacher Educ., 1-15. https://doi.org/10.1080/10901027.2025.2455505.
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge is a licensed mental health expert that is frequently cited in the media:
- Today How to keep your kids physically and mentally afloated
- Little Sleepies How to Practice Mindfulness with Your Kids
- Well + Good The Best Lego Sets for Adults To Unleash Creativity and Practice Mindfulness
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
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