What we need to do is to help them be more focused and calm, which is why we’re focusing on whether or not your child’s anger is considered normal or is it a clinical issue.
What does it look like when someone is emotionally regulated?
Our goal is to shift our child from being constantly in a dysregulated angry state into one that is emotionally regulated. Being emotionally regulated means that the body is appropriately managing difficulties that come up with stresses and frustrations, big emotions, and it's managing in a way that the response is appropriate.
An emotionally regulated child acts in a loving manner as compared to a dysregulated child who is easily angry and upset. Moreover, being emotionally regulated means they know how to process their emotions properly which results in better responses even during stressful situations.
When is a tantrum normal?
When a brain is in a dysregulated state, it means that it's over or under responsive to things that come through sensory information. And a lot of that has something to do with the emotional centers in the brain. When there’s dysregulation, the systems responsible for emotional processes and information processing do not work properly.
Because of such dysregulation, a child may throw tantrums, become withdrawn, and even exhibit physical and verbal anger towards their parents and other people. There are instances when tantrums are deemed normal but sometimes, they are symptoms of a clinical issue.
It is normal for upset kids to throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want or when they feel uncomfortable. But when they occur frequently or for long periods of time, it means that your child’s recovery level is poor. That’s a sign that there could be a clinical issue and parents shouldn’t just shrug these tantrums off and treat it like a normal scenario.
How to deal with an angry kid?
As a parent, you have to take a step back, assess the situation and look at it in a bigger picture. You have to get to the root cause as to why your child is getting angry frequently. Also, creating a safe space for healthy and open communication can help you gain a deeper understanding of their perspective.
We have to take into consideration our children’s behavior problems or mental health illnesses like ADHD, executive functioning, OCD, and other mood disorders which greatly affect their behaviors. We’ve already discussed how emotional dysregulation can likely affect the brain’s processes.
People from all over the world come to meet us for consultations, especially with their children. We often have cases of angry kids which is a problem that I’m glad many parents don’t ignore.
We all know just how much our children need us and our support but in order for us to be able to give them better support, we have to get everything together. It’s important that we self-regulate and calm ourselves down because our children regulate themselves off us. It’s not going to be an easy journey but the outcome is worth the time and effort.
Sometimes, parents are the ones triggering their child to get angry. That’s why it’s important for us to look at our own triggers. There are many natural solutions that have been proven effective and are even science-backed, such as diet, exercise, neurofeedback, PEMF, psychotherapy, and many more tools and resources available.
We have to keep in mind, however, that these solutions are not going to be effective if we don’t show up constantly and if we don’t commit ourselves to it. Indeed, consistency is key.
Links and Resources:
➡️ Join our FREE Natural Parenting Community to receive science-backed resources for your child and family. Join here.
➡️ Get help from Dr. Roseann and her team. Apply here.
➡️ “Is it ADHD or something else?” Take the quiz.