Children’s behaviors can often shift suddenly and dramatically, leaving parents feeling concerned. One moment, a child may be engaged, playful, and eager to learn; the next, they might exhibit signs of frustration, withdrawal, or hyperactivity. More often than not, these abrupt changes reflect deeper issues within the nervous system, such as dysregulation caused by a variety of stressors.
That's why in this episode, we talk about how crucial it is to remain attuned to children's behaviors and recognize that sudden changes can often indicate deeper emotional or sensory challenges. By paying attention to these behaviors, parents and caregivers can gain valuable insights into what might be affecting their child's emotional state, allowing them to address potential triggers proactively.
Factors Affecting Nervous System Dysregulation
Every child’s nervous system is constantly responding to their environment, absorbing every sound, sight, interaction, and shift in routine. When things feel just right, their system can stay regulated, but too much or too little input throws it off balance.
When we start seeing behavior as a signal of nervous system imbalance rather than just misbehavior, everything changes. It’s not just about recognizing the signs; it’s about knowing how to help your child find balance so your entire family can feel calmer.
Our kids' nervous systems don’t distinguish between good or bad stress—it all triggers the same survival response. Whether it’s a new puppy or bullying at school, both flood the brain with cortisol, sending the nervous system into overdrive. If the brain doesn’t signal it's safe to calm down, kids get stuck in stress mode, making it harder to relax over time.
Some days, your child might seem off. This is the nervous system caught in a cycle of dysregulation. Stressors like peer conflicts, sensory overload, or screen time can pile up and deepen these patterns. Research shows that just 20 minutes on a device can shift kids from hyper-focused to under-stimulated, drained by blue light disrupting their rhythms.
Every child’s nervous system is influenced by many factors and a toxic home environment, trauma, or bullying can throw it into chaos. In fact, even well-meaning doctors can unintentionally cause harm by dismissing or gaslighting concerns, leaving parents and kids feeling unseen. Children with ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent conditions often respond differently to stimulation, making balance even harder to achieve. Environmental stressors like chemicals, toxins, or infections can also disrupt regulation without warning. That’s why I want to emphasize that every experience can either support your child’s well-being or push them further into imbalance.
Identifying Understimulated Behaviors
When kids, whether young or adult, struggle, it is often due to a lack of coping skills and low stress tolerance, which can disrupt their nervous system. Their behaviors, whether they are overstimulated or under-stimulated, provide important clues about what is happening inside. It is essential for parents not to take these behaviors personally but to act as detectives, identifying patterns that reveal nervous system imbalances.
Under-stimulated children may have trouble focusing, zone out, show low motivation, feel bored, process information slowly, or experience anxiety that causes them to withdraw. These behaviors can be subtle and internal, but they still affect learning and listening over time. Indeed, stress has a major impact, and once the nervous system becomes unbalanced, it can either mimic or worsen clinical conditions. Supporting kids in calming and regulating their nervous system is therefore a key to improving their overall well-being.
Identifying Overstimulated Behaviors
In an overstimulated nervous system, we often see hyperactivity, impulsiveness, anger, frustration, and difficulty calming down after meltdowns. Meltdowns and tantrums are normal at any age, but frequent, intense episodes with long recovery times signal a problem. It’s important to identify patterns by tracking triggers, such as hunger, transitions, or unmet sensory needs, instead of immediately resorting to medication adjustments.
Parents should avoid taking behavior personally and adopt a detective mindset, investigating what might be driving the behavior. Practicing regulation strategies, like those in the comms method, helps manage these challenges. This process requires patience, exploring options, and, when needed, seeking support from therapists to address underlying triggers effectively.
People rarely regret seeking help—only delaying it. Many individuals hesitate, stuck in “analysis paralysis,” only to reach out later during a crisis and express regret for not acting sooner. If you feel you need help, trust that instinct and seek it without shame.
Related Reading:
Dysregulated Behavior in Kids: The Guide to Supporting Self Regulation
How to Handle a Meltdown in Teens and Kids: The CALMS Dysregulated Kid Parenting Protocol What is a QEEG Brain Map?
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