Dysregulation is the common thread connecting various behavioral and emotional challenges. As such, our kids' behaviors often reflect underlying issues with their nervous systems. Addressing these challenges effectively starts by understanding more about the nervous system and how it influences behavior. Today's episode delves into the complexities of dysregulation, exploring why it occurs and how we can effectively address it. This involves not only stabilizing our own emotional responses as parents but also implementing targeted and appropriate interventions. By addressing dysregulation at its core, we can foster a more stable and supportive environment, helping our children thrive both emotionally and behaviorally.
Identifying Signs of Dysregulation.
When we talk about nervous system dysregulation, we can start reframing how we think about these issues. The brain can be either under-stimulated or over-stimulated. Under-stimulation often leads to internalizing behaviors, while over-stimulation leads to externalizing behaviors. Let's start by focusing on the under-stimulated side, which is more common, even though over-stimulated kids tend to grab more attention. Some kids struggle with listening, focus, and processing information, which can make them appear sluggish. They might experience anxiety or be sensory seekers in quieter ways, such as needing to spin around. These behaviors are often linked to clinical diagnoses like ADD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety.
Conversely, kids who are overstimulated may display big emotional reactions, sensory defensiveness, anger, or irritation. These behaviors are typically associated with conditions like autism, ADHD, hyperactivity, PANS, PANDAS, or reactive attachment disorder. Diagnoses can be helpful for understanding and accessing services, but they don't always address the underlying nervous system issues. It's essential to recognize that while clinical diagnoses can provide clarity, they should not be the sole focus of treatment.
Additionally, instead of relying solely on medication, we should aim to equip kids with the skills they need to manage their symptoms, emphasizing that pills don't provide the necessary skills for coping and growth. Understanding the brain's learning hubs and how they're connected is crucial for developing effective strategies to support neurodivergent children and improve their overall functioning. This approach helps us see the path forward, focusing on building skills and creating supportive environments for children to thrive.
Parental Strategies for Supporting Dysregulated Kids.
I understand that not everyone can visit me in person for a consultation, but you can still use your child’s behaviors as valuable clues to determine when they need more support. As a parent, the first step is to ensure you're regulated and have clarity. It's essential to take a broad view and understand your own and your child's triggers. By being a detective and identifying patterns, like stomach aches on school days or anxiety during transitions, you can better understand what's impacting your child's nervous system.
It starts with you getting regulated, then analyzing your child's behaviors, and finally taking action based on those observations. I'll be covering these strategies and more in my upcoming free webinar, “Managing Dysregulated Kids,” where I'll share therapist secrets for managing ADHD, anxiety, and mood issues. The focus will be on understanding nervous system dysregulation rather than just labels. Sign up for the “Managing Dysregulated Kids” webinar here: https://drroseann.com/dysregulated. We'll also be giving away a Dysregulation Solution Program to one lucky attendee, so make sure to join live for a chance to win. And if you can't attend live, there will be a limited-time replay available.
Holistic Approaches to Supporting Dysregulated Kids.
At a recent party I’ve been to, parents were asking for advice on how to help their neurodivergent children develop coping skills beyond medication. I had a great conversation with a dad who understood the importance of teaching stress tolerance as a key to lifelong mental health. What I want to emphasize is that developing coping skills is crucial for helping children manage stress and build a window of tolerance. This process requires parents to model self-regulation and share both successes and failures with their children.
It’s about meeting your child where they are, understanding dysregulation, and helping them learn how to handle stress in a way that empowers them. Additionally, there are many strategies to support nervous system regulation, including behavioral techniques and dietary changes. These approaches are evidence-based and have been proven effective through decades of experience in mental health. The key is to work smarter, not harder, in helping your child develop the skills they need for a healthier, more resilient life.
Challenges with Therapies and the Importance of Nervous System Regulation.
Diet can feel like a significant challenge when managing a child’s dysregulation, but it can be a powerful tool for supporting nervous system regulation. While diet might not always be the first step, especially for children with sensory processing issues, food-related anxiety, or avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), it can have a profound impact when approached consistently and thoughtfully. For instance, removing common triggers like wheat, which often contains glyphosate and other contaminants, can reduce inflammation in the body and contribute to improved overall regulation.
However, it’s important to be consistent; sporadically removing and reintroducing these foods will not provide the benefits needed to support a calmer, more balanced nervous system. Instead, a steady approach is necessary, recognizing that diet is just one piece of a broader puzzle in managing dysregulation. Parents often wonder why various therapies, even highly recommended ones, sometimes fail to yield expected results. This frustration often stems from a misunderstanding of the underlying issues.
Many therapeutic approaches focus on teaching new skills or addressing specific behaviors, but these efforts can be ineffective if a child’s nervous system is dysregulated. When a child’s nervous system is over-activated, moving toward fight, flight, or freeze responses, their brain is not in a state to absorb new information or learn effectively. Similarly, if a child’s nervous system is under-stimulated, they may appear inattentive or disengaged, which can also hinder their ability to benefit from therapeutic interventions. A well-regulated nervous system provides the foundation needed for effective therapy. When a child’s nervous system is balanced, they are better able to engage with therapeutic techniques, learn new skills, and apply them in daily life.
It’s not just about finding the right therapy but about ensuring that a child’s brain and body are in a state where they can make the most of these interventions. This holistic approach, which includes attention to diet, emotional regulation, and environmental factors, empowers children to build resilience, learn coping skills, and ultimately thrive. When parents focus on regulating the nervous system, they create a foundation for all other interventions to work more effectively, leading to better outcomes for their children.
When we truly understand the reasons behind dysregulation and learn how to address it, we can support kids in becoming more attentive, improving their listening skills, and feeling more positive about themselves. This empowers us to guide them towards better emotional regulation and greater self-awareness. For appropriate treatments, it's essential to consult with your healthcare provider for personalized advice, as individual cases can vary. This ensures that the approach is tailored to your child's specific needs and medical conditions.
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