Emotional Intelligence for Kids: Therapist’s 12 Practical Tips for Raising Resilient Children
As a parent, you want the best for your child, especially when it comes to their emotional well-being. Teaching your kids the benefits of emotional intelligence is an important life skill that prepares them to handle challenges confidently. Whether your child struggles with anxiety, ADHD, or navigating friendships, fostering empathy and self-awareness can be transformative.
What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Is It Important?
Emotional intelligence refers to recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions in yourself and others. Developing this skill is crucial for kids as it helps them handle stress, build healthy relationships, and achieve academically. Understanding one’s emotions goes beyond being aware of feelings; it’s about equipping children with tools to cope with difficult emotions and respond constructively to life’s challenges.
Healthy Signs of Emotional Intelligence
I know how deeply every parent wants their child to thrive, both emotionally and socially. We all want to see our kids feel secure, resilient, and ready to handle whatever life brings. Developing emotional intelligence is a powerful way to help make that happen. It’s not just about helping them understand their emotions; it’s about giving them the skills to respond constructively to life’s ups and downs. When kids can recognize and manage their emotions and empathize with others, they’re better equipped to build strong relationships and handle challenges. Here’s what healthy emotional intelligence might look like in your child and how it can support their overall well-being.
Self-Awareness
Children with self-awareness can recognize their emotions and articulate how they feel. For example, they might say, “I’m upset because my friend didn’t share.” This self-awareness is a cornerstone of emotional development.
Self-Regulation
Once children recognize their emotions, they can learn to regulate them. It means pausing before reacting and managing frustration without outbursts. With time, even children who struggle with ADHD or anxiety can learn calming strategies like deep breathing.
Empathy
Understanding how others feel is a key aspect of social-emotional intelligence. When children practice empathy, they build deeper connections with those around them and learn to interact positively in social situations.
Motivation
Children with strong emotional skills are often more driven to overcome challenges. Whether working through school projects or dealing with social situations, they are motivated to persevere and keep a positive attitude.
12 Practical Tips on How to Build Emotional Intelligence in Kids
Raising an emotionally resilient child is one of the most meaningful goals you can have as a parent. Emotional resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks, handle life’s ups and downs, and manage big feelings—isn’t something kids pick up overnight. It’s a skill that grows slowly, with each learning moment, each gentle nudge toward understanding their feelings, and each time they witness you managing your emotions.
Think of it this way: emotional resilience is like a muscle, and emotional intelligence habits are the exercises that strengthen it. By helping your child learn to understand, express, and manage their emotions, you’re equipping them with tools they’ll use throughout their lives. And yes, it does take time and patience—but you’re not alone in this.
Here are some practical, everyday habits you can nurture to help your child build emotional intelligence and resilience, one step at a time.
1. Model Healthy Emotional Responses
Children learn how to manage their emotions by observing adults. When you calmly handle your emotions during difficult situations, you set an example for them. For instance, if you’re feeling stressed, you could tell your child, “I’m frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” Modeling healthy emotional responses shows them how to regulate emotions while fostering social-emotional intelligence at the same time.
2. Encourage Emotional Vocabulary
A crucial part of building emotional awareness is teaching kids to identify and label their emotions. When your child is upset, encourage them to verbalize their feelings: “I’m angry because I lost the game.” This practice of naming emotions improves communication and supports self-regulation.
3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Children with solid emotional skills can manage their emotions during problem-solving. Help your child break challenges into smaller, more manageable tasks. For example, if they feel overwhelmed by homework, guide them to tackle one section at a time. This approach fosters resilience and emotional balance.
4. Foster Empathy and Social Skills
Empathy is a cornerstone of social-emotional intelligence. Encourage your child to consider how others feel in certain situations and brainstorm ways to offer support. For example, if a sibling is upset, ask, “How do you think your brother feels, and what can we do to help him feel better?” Developing empathy early on will strengthen their relationships.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement
When your child demonstrates emotional regulation, offer praise. Positive reinforcement encourages them to keep practicing emotional control. For example, if they remain calm during a frustrating moment, acknowledge their effort by saying, “I’m proud of how you handled that situation.” This reinforces emotional resilience over time.
6. Create a Calm-Down Space
A designated space where your child can go to calm down can help them process their emotions safely. Equip the area with soft pillows, sensory toys, or calming visuals. This space encourages self-regulation and allows your child to practice handling emotions in a peaceful environment.
7. Practice Mindfulness Together
Mindfulness helps children stay grounded and manage their emotions more effectively. Practice simple mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or focusing on sensory exercises during calm moments. These habits build emotional intelligence and help kids stay centered during emotional highs and lows.
8. Teach Conflict Resolution Skills
Help your child learn to manage disagreements in a healthy way. Teach them how to express their feelings without blaming or escalating a conflict. This skill is essential for emotional regulation and building healthy relationships, allowing your child to resolve conflicts with peers calmly and constructively.
9. Encourage Gratitude
Gratitude can shift your child’s focus from negative emotions to positive ones. Encourage them to express gratitude daily, whether it’s through writing or verbalizing something they’re thankful for. This practice cultivates emotional awareness and helps kids develop a more balanced perspective during challenging times.
10. Set Realistic Expectations
Help your child understand that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions and that it’s okay not to always feel happy. Setting realistic expectations around emotions helps them accept their feelings without judgment, promoting emotional resilience and a healthy emotional outlook.
11. Help Them Build Patience
Patience is also vital to emotional regulation. Teach your child that it’s okay to wait for results and to be patient with themselves and others. You can practice patience by using small, everyday scenarios, such as waiting in line or taking turns, as opportunities to model and teach emotional control.
12. Engage in Open Discussions About Emotions
Create an open dialogue about emotions by regularly checking in with your child. Ask questions like, “What made you feel happy today?” or “Did anything frustrate you?” These conversations normalize emotional expression and help your child practice identifying and managing their emotions.
Emotional Intelligence and Children and Teens with Anxiety and ADHD
When children and teens face challenges like anxiety, ADHD, or other mental health issues, emotional regulation can be incredibly difficult for them. They may often feel overwhelmed by big emotions or situations that are hard to process. Teaching them how to handle these feelings isn’t just about helping them calm down in the moment—it’s about giving them skills they can carry forward into any tough situation.
ADHD and Emotional Regulation
Kids with ADHD often find it challenging to control emotional responses, which can lead to frequent outbursts. By introducing emotional regulation techniques, like taking deep breaths or squeezing a stress ball, you can help them manage their feelings before reacting. These tools allow children to pause and reflect, reducing the intensity of emotional reactions over time.
Anxiety and Emotional Intelligence Skills
For teens with anxiety, emotions can sometimes feel too intense. Teaching your teen to recognize the early signs of anxiety—like tense muscles, racing thoughts, or restlessness—can help them catch these feelings before they become overwhelming. Combining calming techniques, like deep breathing or grounding exercises, gives them tools to manage these intense moments.
Simple mindfulness exercises, like focusing on their breath or visualizing a calm place, can make a huge difference. These small habits help build emotional resilience over time, giving your teen the confidence to face stress, a sense of control, and self-assurance, even in tough situations.
However, teaching anxiety management techniques can be easier said than done. My Natural Anxiety Relief Kit offers a proven, medication-free approach to help kids build emotional control and confidence, featuring resources like the Anxiety Video Series, Natural Treatments, and Behavior Shaping Solutions—all backed by decades of science-based experience. This gentle yet powerful toolkit empowers your child to manage anxiety and thrive.
Why is Investing in Emotions Key to Mental Health: Long-Term Benefits of Fostering Emotional Skills for Kids
Investing time in your child’s emotional development is a gift that keeps on giving. When children learn to understand their emotions and practice managing them, they gain lifelong skills that set them up for success in so many areas. Kids with strong emotional awareness and self-regulation skills are more resilient under stress and better able to form healthy relationships. Here are some long-term benefits.
Healthier Relationships With Those Around Them
Kids with healthy emotional skills tend to have healthier relationships. They can empathize with others, communicate more effectively, and resolve conflicts peacefully. These skills are crucial for maintaining friendships, family bonds, and professional connections.
Academic and Personal Growth
Children who develop social-emotional intelligence are more resilient in academic settings. They perform better under pressure by managing stress and staying focused. Emotional regulation also prepares them to face challenges in their personal lives with confidence and positivity.
Investing in your child’s emotional development is a powerful way to help them build resilience and thrive. When kids learn to understand and manage their emotions, they develop tools that support them in so many areas of life.
Emotionally aware and regulated children tend to feel more confident, are better equipped to manage stress, and have healthier relationships. As they grow, these skills can help them approach challenges with a calm and focused mindset, setting the stage for both personal and academic success.
1. What are the signs of emotional intelligence in kids?
Some common signs for kids include self-awareness, where children can recognize and name their emotions, and empathy, which allows them to understand how others feel. Kids who show skill in understanding emotions are also better at managing their emotions and staying calm under stress, demonstrating resilience in difficult situations.
2. How can I help my child develop emotional understanding?
You can help your child acquire the ability to perceive others’ emotions by modeling healthy emotional responses, encouraging them to name their feelings, and teaching problem-solving skills. Daily mindfulness and empathy-building exercises can also support their emotional development over time.
3. What is social-emotional intelligence, and why is it important?
Social-emotional intelligence refers to a child's ability to understand and manage emotions in social interactions. It helps them develop empathy, build stronger relationships, and effectively navigate social situations. Teaching this skill early on can improve your child’s ability to form lasting friendships and resolve conflicts peacefully.
4. How can emotional intelligence help kids with anxiety?
Children with anxiety often feel overwhelmed by their emotions. Developing emotional intelligence helps them recognize and label their feelings, allowing them to manage stress more effectively. By learning coping strategies, such as deep breathing or mindfulness, anxious kids can gain better control over their emotional responses, leading to reduced anxiety.
Citations:
American Psychological Association. (2019). Students do better in school when they can understand, manage emotions. APA News Release. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/12/students-manage-emotions
MacCann, C., Jiang, Y., Brown, L. E., Double, K. S., Bucich, M., & Minbashian, A. (2020). Emotional intelligence predicts academic performance: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 146(2), 150–186. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000219
Martins, A., Ramalho, N., & Morin, E. (2010). A comprehensive meta-analysis of the relationship between emotional intelligence and health. Personality and Individual Differences, 49(6), 554–564. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.05.029
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Self-Regulation who in the media:
- Healthline Understanding Self-Regulation Skills
- Scary Mommy What Is Self-Regulation In Children, And How Can You Help Improve It?
- The Warrior Parent Podcast It's Gonna Be OK! Changing Behaviors and Responses (And The Magic of Magnesium)In Your Family with Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge
- The Homeschool OT Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation in Children: A Guide for Homeschool Parents
Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.
Are you looking for SOLUTIONS for your struggling child or teen?
Dr. Roseann and her team are all about science-backed solutions, so you are in the right place!
Grab your complimentary copy of
Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Licensed Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of media outlets including The Mel Robbins Show, CBS, NBC, PIX11 NYC, Today, FORBES, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider, Women’s Day, Healthline, CNET, Parade Magazine and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.”
She coined the terms, “Re-entry panic syndrome” and “eco-anxiety” and is a frequent contributor to media on mental health.
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge has three decades of experience in working with children, teens and their families with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, concussion, dyslexia and learning disability, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), depression and mood disorder, Lyme Disease, and PANS/PANDAS using science-backed natural mental health solutions such as supplements, magnesium, nutrition, QEEG Brain maps, neurofeedback, PEMF, psychotherapy and other non-medication approaches.
She is the author of three bestselling books, It’s Gonna Be OK!: Proven Ways to Improve Your Child's Mental Health, The Teletherapy Toolkit, and Brain Under Attack. Dr. Roseann is known for offering a message of hope through science-endorsed methods that promote a calm brain.
Her trademarked BrainBehaviorResetⓇ Program and It’s Gonna be OK!Ⓡ Podcast has been a cornerstone for thousands of parents facing mental health, behavioral or neurodevelopmental challenges.
She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health, Neurotastic™Brain Formulas and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Mental Health Professional (CIMHP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach. She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF).
© Roseann-Capanna-Hodge, LLC 2024
