As a parent, you’ve probably seen your child freeze up when things don’t go as planned—a sudden change in routine, a tricky problem at school, or even just a disagreement with a friend. It’s frustrating to watch, especially when you know they’re capable of so much more. But here’s the good news: with a little guidance, your child can learn to think flexibly and tackle those challenges head-on if you teach them about how to think flexibly.
In my 30 years of working with kids and their families, I often see how rigid thinking can affect kids, especially those with ADHD or executive functioning issues. These kids struggle to adapt when plans change, get frustrated when their usual problem-solving methods don’t work, and find it hard to see things from someone else’s perspective. These lapses in flexible thinking can turn small challenges into big problems, leaving both kids and their parents feeling stuck.
But here’s the good news: flexible thinking is a skill that can be taught and improved, even for kids who find it difficult. In my work, I focus on helping children learn how to shift gears, adjust to new situations, and think creatively when they hit a roadblock.
With the right exercises and support, I’ve seen kids go from feeling frustrated and overwhelmed to becoming more confident and better able to handle life’s twists and turns. Developing a child's ability to think flexibly helps them adapt to unexpected changes, making it an essential skill for their overall developmental success.
What is Flexible Thinking?
Flexible thinking, sometimes called cognitive flexibility, is the ability to shift your thinking or approach when faced with new information, unexpected changes, or challenging situations. This ability, often referred to as thinking flexibly, allows you to approach problems and situations from multiple perspectives rather than relying on rigid solutions. Imagine you’re playing a game, and suddenly, the rules change. Flexible thinking allows you to adapt quickly and continue playing without frustration.
Flexible thinking is a crucial skill for learning in technology-driven environments. As advancements in instructional science and educational technologies evolve, it's essential to update our understanding of ‘flexible thinking' to meet the demands of modern education.
This skill is essential for everyday life. Whether you’re switching between tasks at school, dealing with changes in plans, or trying to find a new way to solve a math problem, flexible thinking helps you navigate these situations smoothly. It’s about being open to new ideas, willing to try different strategies, and not getting stuck when things don’t go as planned.
Why is Flexible Thinking Difficult for People with ADHD and Executive Functioning Challenges?
Executive functions are essential for managing our mental processes and behaviors. They allow us to juggle ideas, pause before acting, handle unexpected challenges, resist temptations, and stay focused. Core components of EFs include inhibition, which encompasses self-control (resisting urges and avoiding impulsive actions) and interference control (selective attention and suppressing irrelevant thoughts).
Another key aspect is working memory, which involves holding and manipulating information over short periods. Cognitive flexibility or flexible thinking, the third core component, enables us to think creatively, view situations from various perspectives, and quickly adapt to new circumstances. (Chan et al, 2023)
For kids and teens with ADHD or executive functioning difficulties, inflexible thinking can make flexible thinking particularly challenging.
Inflexible Thinking Can Interfere With Daily Life for Those With ADHD
Rigid Thinking Patterns
Those with ADHD often get stuck in rigid thinking patterns. This means they might have trouble seeing things from different perspectives or trying new approaches when their usual methods don’t work.
For example, if a teen is used to studying in a specific way and that method isn’t effective, they might struggle to try a new study strategy. Encouraging them to become flexible thinkers can help them explore multiple solutions and consider different perspectives.
Difficulty with Shifting Attention and Cognitive Flexibility
ADHD affects the brain’s ability to shift attention easily. If you’re focused on one way of doing something, it can be hard to switch gears and try something else. This can make it difficult to adapt to changes, like when a teacher changes an assignment’s due date or when a friend suggests a different plan than what was originally agreed upon.
Struggles with Problem-Solving
Executive functioning challenges often include difficulties with problem-solving. Flexible thinking is a key part of solving problems effectively because it allows you to consider different solutions. Without this skill, kids and teens might feel stuck and overwhelmed when faced with a problem that doesn’t have an obvious solution.
Emotional Regulation Issues
For some, the frustration of not being able to think flexibly can lead to emotional outbursts or shutdowns. When you’re used to things being a certain way, sudden changes can feel overwhelming and lead to stress or anxiety. Learning to manage these emotions and manage uncertainty is a big part of developing flexible thinking.
6 Flexible Thinking Activities: How to Teach Children Flexible Thinking
Physical exercises can be a fun and effective way to help kids and teens develop flexible thinking skills. These activities engage both the body and the mind, promoting cognitive flexibility through movement and play. Here are some exercises that can help:
1. Switch-Up Simon Says
How to Play: This is a twist on the classic game of Simon Says. Start by giving simple commands like, “Simon says touch your toes,” or “Simon says jump on one foot.” After a few rounds, switch things up by adding new, unexpected commands, such as “Simon says hop like a frog” or “Simon says act like your favorite animal.” To make it more challenging, you can change the rules mid-game, like saying “Simon says” without the players needing to follow the command.
These variations serve as flexible thinking activities, encouraging children to use everyday actions in imaginative ways.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This game encourages quick thinking and adaptability, as players must be ready to adjust to new and unexpected instructions.
2. Obstacle Course with a Twist
How to Play: Set up a simple obstacle course using items like cones, chairs, or pillows. As kids go through the course, call out new challenges that force them to change their approach. For example, you might say, “Now, go through the course backward,” or “This time, you can only hop on one foot.” You can also ask them to find a new way to complete each obstacle.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This exercise promotes problem-solving and adaptability, as kids must constantly adjust their movements and strategies to navigate the course.
3. Role Reversal Charades
How to Play: In this version of charades, instead of acting out a word or phrase, players switch roles with another person and act out how they think that person would behave in a given situation. For example, if one player usually does homework right after school, another player might pretend to be them, but in a silly or unexpected way.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This activity encourages kids to see things from another person’s perspective, promoting empathy and flexible thinking as they step into someone else’s shoes and consider other people's ideas.
4. Mirror Movement
How to Play: Pair up the players, with one person acting as the leader and the other as the follower. The leader makes slow, deliberate movements, such as raising an arm or turning their head, while the follower mirrors these movements as closely as possible. After a few minutes, switch roles so that the follower becomes the leader. You can make this more challenging by introducing more complex or faster movements.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This exercise requires kids to focus, adapt, and think quickly as they mirror another person's actions. It also helps them understand how their actions can affect others.
5. Musical Chairs with a Cognitive Twist
How to Play: Arrange chairs in a circle, with one fewer chair than the number of players. Play music and have the players walk around the chairs. When the music stops, everyone must find a seat. However, instead of simply sitting down, add a rule that requires them to complete a task before sitting, like touching their toes, naming a fruit, or acting out a short scene.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This game encourages quick thinking and adaptability, as players must perform a task and find a chair in a short amount of time. It also helps them think creatively under pressure.
6. Switch-Up Yoga
How to Play: Lead a simple yoga session with poses like downward dog, tree pose, or warrior. After the group gets the hang of the routine, start adding unexpected changes. For example, you might say, “Now try the tree pose with your eyes closed,” or “Let's do downward dog, but with one hand in the air.” Encourage kids to come up with their own modifications or pose combinations.
Flexible Thinking Benefit: This exercise promotes flexibility in both body and mind, as kids must adapt their poses to the changing instructions. It also encourages creativity and experimentation.
Tips to Help Children Think Flexibly
Now that we understand what flexible thinking is and why it’s challenging for some, let’s dive into some strategies to practice thinking flexibly. Here are five tips to help you think more flexibly, along with examples to show how they work in real life.
Practice Seeing Things from Different Perspectives
Developing flexible thinking often starts with understanding situations from multiple angles. This means stepping into someone else’s shoes to see things from their point of view, even if it differs from your own.
Scenario: Your child is struggling with a group project at school. They want to complete the project their way, but their classmates have different ideas about how to approach it. Instead of insisting on their own method, your child could try to understand why their classmates prefer a different approach. Maybe the classmates have different strengths, or perhaps they have previous experience that makes their method more effective. By considering these perspectives and valuing other people's ideas, your child might find a way to combine everyone’s ideas, leading to a better outcome for the group project.
How to Practice: When your child faces a disagreement or challenge, encourage them to pause and think about the other person’s perspective. Ask questions like, “Why do they prefer this approach?” or “What’s their main goal in this situation?” Practicing this skill helps them become more adaptable and open-minded in various situations.
Embrace Change as an Opportunity
Change can be unsettling, especially when it disrupts familiar routines. As a parent, it’s important to help your child see change not as a problem but as an opportunity for growth, especially in the face of unexpected circumstances. Embracing change is a key part of flexible thinking.
Scenario: Your family’s vacation plans shift unexpectedly. Instead of heading to the beach as planned, you decide on a mountain getaway instead. Rather than letting your child focus on the disappointment of the change, encourage them to explore the positives of the new plan. They might discover new activities like hiking or skiing and enjoy the fresh scenery and experiences the mountains offer. By highlighting the exciting aspects of the change, you can help your child adjust more easily and appreciate the adventure of trying something new.
How to Practice: When plans change unexpectedly, take a moment to discuss the benefits of the new situation with your child. Ask questions like, “What new experiences might this bring?” or “What can we look forward to in this new plan?” This approach will help your child see change as a chance for growth and make adapting to new situations easier over time.
Use Creative Problem-Solving Techniques
Sometimes, the best way to tackle a problem is to think outside the box. You can help your child develop flexible thinking by encouraging them to use creative problem-solving techniques, which involve exploring new approaches and considering unconventional solutions. Providing flexible thinking examples can illustrate how cognitive flexibility helps individuals adapt to changes, particularly in children's behavior and decision-making.
Remember, there’s more than one way to solve a problem. Understanding that there’s always a new or different way to find a solution opens the door to innovative thinking and creative problem-solving. There are many alternatives and options available, and thinking differently can help us discover a variety of solutions.
Scenario: Your child is working on an art project for school, but they’ve run out of paint and can’t get more before the project is due. Instead of panicking or giving up, help them brainstorm alternative ways to complete their artwork. They might use colorful markers, create a collage from magazines, or even design a digital version of their project using a tablet or computer. By exploring different materials and techniques, your child can find a creative solution that still showcases their artistic skills.
How to Practice: When your child faces a challenge, encourage them to think of several alternative solutions, even if some seem unconventional. Have a brainstorming session where all ideas are welcomed, and then help them evaluate which might work best. This exercise will help your child become more adaptable and confident in their ability to handle unexpected situations.
How to Encourage Your Child to Think Outside the Box
- Ask “What If?” Questions: Encourage them to explore different scenarios by asking questions like, “What if we tried this?” or “What if we changed that?” This helps them consider alternative approaches.
- Brainstorm Freely: Create a space where they can jot down any ideas that come to mind, no matter how wild or impractical. The goal is to generate as many ideas as possible before evaluating them.
- Mix and Match: Suggest combining elements from different ideas or projects. For example, they could blend concepts from different subjects or use materials in unconventional ways.
- Change Perspectives: Encourage them to view the problem from different angles. Ask questions like, “How would someone else approach this?” or “What would someone with a different perspective do?”
- Experiment and Play: Encourage hands-on experimentation and play. Sometimes the best ideas come from trying out new techniques or tools, even if they seem unconventional.
- Seek Inspiration: Look for inspiration from various sources—books, online galleries, nature, or different cultures. Exposure to diverse ideas can spark creativity.
- Take Breaks: Sometimes stepping away from a problem and doing something unrelated can help clear the mind and allow fresh ideas to emerge.
- Collaborate: Work with others to brainstorm and refine ideas. Different viewpoints can provide new insights and spark innovative solutions.
- Challenge Assumptions: Question the assumptions or limitations that might be holding them back. Ask, “Why does it have to be done this way?” to encourage thinking beyond the usual constraints.
Build a Flexible Routine
While having routines is crucial, especially for children with ADHD, it’s equally important to build some flexibility into those routines by modeling flexible thinking. This means having a plan but also being prepared to adjust it when things don’t go as expected.
Scenario: Your child has a regular homework routine they follow after school, but today they have a doctor’s appointment that will interfere with their homework time, it’s important to help them find a way to adjust. Instead of letting the change cause stress, work with them to think of alternative solutions. Perhaps they can complete part of their homework during study hall or finish the rest after dinner. By helping them incorporate flexibility into their routine, they can manage their tasks without feeling overwhelmed.
How to Practice: Review your child’s daily routine and identify areas where flexibility might be needed. Encourage them to create a backup plan for situations when things don’t go as expected. Practicing this will help them adapt their routine smoothly and reduce stress when unexpected changes occur.
Practice Mindfulness to Stay Calm and Focused
Mindfulness—staying present in the moment—can be a powerful tool for helping your child promote flexible thinking. When they practice mindfulness, they’re less likely to get stuck in rigid thinking patterns because they become more aware of their thoughts and emotions.
Scenario: Your child is working on a challenging homework assignment and hits a roadblock, instead of getting frustrated or giving up, encourage them to take a mindful break. They can close their eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on the present moment. This practice helps them stay calm and clear-headed, making it easier to approach the problem from a fresh perspective.
How to Practice: Help your child set aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness practice. This could involve deep breathing exercises, short meditation sessions, or simply paying attention to their surroundings. The more they practice mindfulness, the better they’ll become at staying calm and focused, even when faced with difficulties.
If you’ve noticed your child getting stuck in rigid thinking patterns, don’t worry—there’s hope. With some guidance, you can help them develop the flexible thinking skills they need to handle whatever comes their way. If you need support, check out the Executive Functioning Toolkit. With 30 years of experience as a therapist, I’ve created this toolkit to help your child develop flexible thinking and tackle attention and executive function challenges. Discover practical strategies and start making a positive difference today.
Citations:
Chan, E. S. M., Gaye, F., Cole, A. M., Singh, L. J., & Kofler, M. J. (2023). Central executive training for ADHD: Impact on organizational skills at home and school. A randomized controlled trial. Neuropsychology, 37(8), 859–871. https://doi.org/10.1037/neu0000918
Diamond A. (2014). Want to Optimize Executive Functions and Academic Outcomes?: Simple, Just Nourish the Human Spirit. Minnesota symposia on child psychology (Series), 37, 205–232. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4210770/
Dr. Roseann is a mental health expert in Executive Functioning who frequently is in the media:
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Dr. Roseann is a Children’s Mental Health Expert and Licensed Therapist who has been featured in/on hundreds of media outlets including The Mel Robbins Show, CBS, NBC, PIX11 NYC, Today, FORBES, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider, Women’s Day, Healthline, CNET, Parade Magazine and PARENTS. FORBES called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health.”
She coined the terms, “Re-entry panic syndrome” and “eco-anxiety” and is a frequent contributor to media on mental health.
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge has three decades of experience in working with children, teens and their families with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, concussion, dyslexia and learning disability, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), depression and mood disorder, Lyme Disease, and PANS/PANDAS using science-backed natural mental health solutions such as supplements, magnesium, nutrition, QEEG Brain maps, neurofeedback, PEMF, psychotherapy and other non-medication approaches.
She is the author of three bestselling books, It’s Gonna Be OK!: Proven Ways to Improve Your Child's Mental Health, The Teletherapy Toolkit, and Brain Under Attack. Dr. Roseann is known for offering a message of hope through science-endorsed methods that promote a calm brain.
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She is the founder and director of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health, Neurotastic™Brain Formulas and Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC. Dr. Roseann is a Board Certified Neurofeedback (BCN) Practitioner, a Board Member of the Northeast Region Biofeedback Society (NRBS), Certified Integrative Mental Health Professional (CIMHP) and an Amen Clinic Certified Brain Health Coach. She is also a member of The International Lyme Disease and Associated Disease Society (ILADS), The American Psychological Association (APA), Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), International OCD Foundation (IOCDF).
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